Best Friends Club

[Healandlove]

Hi Shazzy @Shaz51 my sister. 

My husband is playing video games so no TV for me. When he goes for a shower I am planning to watch Fisk to see if it's good.

My heart feels heavy. Thank you for your kind words. My daughter is feeling the effects of the family estrangement due to my husband's cptsd and his episode which drove everyone away. I feel disappointed that he can't make things right for his own daughter.  I know it's an illness technically but I wish he would just do what is right for the children.

What I have been telling my daughter is that things won't be like this forever, that she will grow up and be independent and visit her aunt and uncle and that she will never stop seeing her cousins. It is such a mess that it makes my stomach sick. My husband is not a bad man but he is too stubborn to do anything.  I am going to bring this up with our couple's psychologist next year in January.  I am holding on so much to my little family but I can't help feel disappointed by my husband. 

I'm sorry, I am suffering for me and my kids. 

Christmas is hard all around. 

I hope you are watching something good on TV.

Hugs my sister Shazzy 🤗 ❤️ 

[Oaktree]

@Shaz51 

Tomorrow I am going to art group in the morning and hubby has a doctors appointment in the afternoon. 

My daughter’s appointment went well and my HBF gap saver meant that it didn’t cost anything 

[Oaktree]

@Healandlove 

Hugs for you hun xxx

I am sure that Christmas will be very hard if your family is not in a place of togetherness. Just try and get through the best way you can…

[Healandlove]

Thank you @Oaktree sweetheart. 

Long story, husband drove everyone away with an episode of cptsd. My daughter misses the good times with the larger family. 

We are still hanging on in the marriage but when I see my daughter suffer like this it just makes me so angry and sad for all of us.

I don't know what he can do though.

My sister's and brother in law don't really care about him or me. Nor are they fantastic aunt and uncle but my daughter is missing the perceived togetherness. I just feel like my kids and I have been let down by all of them. Husband, brother in law, sister. 

I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally..

But I know divorce would make things worse for the kids. And I guess I am still holding on because of all the goodness he once had and because there are happy moments in our little family.  He tries but just not consistently and I struggle with him not turning around and just trying to do more of a radical change for his kids. 

Do I ask for too much?

@Shaz51 how did you survive all these years with all of Mr Shaz's mental health challenges. 

I pray to God to give me the strength everyday. Please don't abandon me.

[Healandlove]

@PeppyPatti the book looks really good. I will buy it.

I pray to God that the transgenerational trauma stops with me...

Life sucks right now and yet I want to grow old to hug and comfort my children. They are my everything.

[Oaktree]

@Healandlove 

You are in a very difficult situation. As you say it’s your husband’s illness and not him that is the problem. You just need to do your best everyday to bring things together for your kids. I am sorry it’s so hard. 

[Healandlove]

@Oaktree thank you for your kind words.

At least although everthing looks hopeless I feel like I want yo live the longest possible life and be there for my kids.

It's different to how i was feeling before I started EMDR treatment. 

So I guess it must be helping.

[Glisten]

@ENKELI  I cleaned up

@Oaktree @Healandlove @Shaz51 @PeppyPatti @TAB @Bill16 @Meowmy @StuF @SmilingGecko 

[TAB]

looks like hard work @Glisten  may have been easier trimming stuff first ? just sayin'..

what sort of vehicle is that under the Guy Fawkes night woodpile ?

[Healandlove]

@Glisten wow! What a lot of work. Well done 👏