Dearest @Loopy
I think I know what you mean about being married to the job, luckily for me I had a child - then I had to stop working because I could not both work and parent my child (still can't). I see this now as a saving grace, though just that realisation has been at least a decade-long discovery.
I really like the stuff which you find around the internet & post here, but this is your own - and I like it so much more. Thanks so much for sharing it - it's beautiful, rawly honest and poignant. There are a few more poems on this thread which I don't know if you've seen? Including one I wrote a couple of years ago about my own sense of being lost, and what helps me in that space. I hope they might be of some help or comfort to you. 
Kindest regards,
Kristin
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.