Suggestions for help.

[H4HELP]

Hi everyone,

I’m a veteran and first responder currently living with C-PTSD, MDD, and an anxiety disorder.

Over the past three years, I’ve been working hard on my recovery. I’ve had multiple hospital admissions, the first for around nine weeks, then another after eight months, and I’ve just been admitted again about 12 months later. This time is mainly for medication adjustment and to continue progressing forward. I’ve been fighting hard to get better.

I’m reaching out because my wife is really struggling as well. I’ve encouraged her to join this group or connect in with others for support, but she hasn’t yet.

During this current admission, things have become quite difficult between us. She’s expressed frustration about me not seeing her and the battle she is going through, the length of my treatment, and feeling like my team and I don’t understand how hard this is for her.

The truth is, I do understand, and I care deeply about how this is impacting her. She and our son are the reason I keep going. Without them, I don’t think I would have made it this far.

At the same time, I’m finding it really hard to carry both my recovery and her expectations. I’m doing everything I can to get better, but I can’t fix everything, and I think we both need more support around us.

I’m reaching out here to ask:

Has anyone been in a similar situation where their partner is struggling alongside them?

What helped your partner engage with support?

Are there resources, groups, or strategies that helped take some of that pressure off the relationship?

I’m not giving up, on my recovery, my family, or us. I just know we can’t do this alone anymore.

Any advice or support would really mean a lot.

[liminalzest]

@H4HELP Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

It takes real strength to speak openly about what you’re navigating, especially while you’re in the middle of treatment and doing the hard work of recovery. Your commitment to healing and to your family comes through clearly.

Its very understandable that partners can feel overwhelmed when someone they love is dealing with something. It puts a lot of weight on both people, and it doesn't mean either of you is doing anything wrong! 

I encourage you to keep connecting with your peers on the forum and leaning into the community - you’re not alone in this.

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve. I just wanted to reassure you that anonymity is very important in the forums for yourself and for all the other contributors. Everyone works together to maintain this standard.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already, and consider too for your partner her to join the space here Friends, families and carers - SANE Forums

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

liminalzest

[GalaxyGuide]

Hey @H4HELP  ,

Welcome to the forums 😊

Firstly, I wanted to acknowledge the amazing effort you're making in helping yourself whilst living with complex mental health. I can see how hard you're working, and you should be really proud of that. I'm sure your family is too.

Please encourage your spouse to join these pages. The great thing about the SANE forums is they're completely anonymous, and with these Shoulder to Shoulder dedicated spaces, I'm sure your spouse will find some support in those who are walking alongside her navigating similar experiences.

Other helpful resources to reach out to are Open Arms and Pheonix Australia- They will be able to connect you with an abundance of support for not only you but your family and carers too! Tandem is another great organisation for your spouse if she would be keen to give that a go. 

I'm really proud of you for all the effort you're doing for yourself, and for also having the compassion to think of others whilst navigating your own struggles. Reach out whenever you need.

@Magpie22 @ccau_82 Tagging you in case you have other supports to share here.

[Magpie22]

@H4HELP 

welcome (belatedly) to the forums. I’ve been offline for a while dealing with my own life stuff but I’m glad

you found this space to seek help. 

I'm wondering how things are now? Has your wife connected with supports? 

It’s so great that you are working on recovery and making progress. And that you have been able to recognise that she is also needing help. It is really hard

to support someone and keep things on track, her feelings are really normal. 

My partner is also not someone who is comfortable seeking help. Are you able to enlist another friend or family

member to also suggest some options? Or even just to give her permission to vent. It can be really hard reaching out for help, but having someone offer it without asking can break the ice. Also having someone outside your immediate dynamic. 

When you see your treating team (GP, counsellor, psychiatrist) does she come with you? In those sessions perhaps a professional making the suggestion can help. 

Apart from the wisdom and experience in this group your wife is also able to access counselling in her own right through Open Arms. She just needs to call the number 1800 011 046. 

There are also some really great resources through Mental Health Carers Australia https://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/Web/Web/Contents/mental-health-carer-support.aspx?

Often partners and children don’t see themselves as carers, but anyone supporting someone through challenges is a carer. 

lifeline have some resources too 

https://www.lifeline.org.au/sites/default/files/2025-11/web__ll-4pp-tool-kit_carers-of-people-w-ment...

And there is the government Carers Gateway

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/

Sometimes it’s a matter of finding the right support, and sometimes it’s a matter of it being the right time. 

Keep at it, the love you have for your family is shining through in your post.