Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[Silenus]

Gentle caring hugs @BlueBay

[BlueBay]

Thank you @Silenus for your caring gentle hugs xxxooo

I so need them today. I am wanting to run away because of my problems at the moment.  Can't deal with life at the moment.

I wish life wasn't so hard. my head is telling me to go, to pack and leave forever. my head is telling me to self harm, to get help, to scream, to cry - my heart is telling me to stay,

Maybe i need to chat again to lifeline, sometimes i feel like i ned to run away and be rescued. oh thats a stupid idea isn't it.

I am so sorry, I am changed the topic by me writing on here about me.  i am sorry @Silenus

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @BlueBay Lifeline sounds like a good idea, then check in with us later to tell us how your going 

take care of yourself

[Silenus]

Please @BlueBay - worry not. This thread is called "Writing As A Form Of Therapy". This thread is for anyone and everyone...

We are writing as a form of therapy now, yes?

More gentle hugs heading your way @BlueBay

I could tell you that it's natural to want to run away from it all. It is.

That you are resisting the urge to run is a good thing to me @BlueBay ... and you are writing poems from the heart that beautifully communicate what you are feeling...

These are actually really healthy responses. I applaud you for your ability to hold things together and still explore your self...

As numerous others have said, I believe that sudden changes to meds can be a less than pleasant experience...

I wish I could say more than just hang in there, but hang in there. I think you have already achieved some great wins...

It isn't always pretty, us navigating our way through, white knuckling it... but it's worth it...

Hugs hugs hugs... 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @BlueBay 

You are very thought of here.....

Can you just keep on writing? 

It's so hard........you are not alone.

Sweetheart. 

[BlueBay]

Hi @Fancy_Pants

I can't ring Lifeline.  Just can't at the moment.  I may chat online tonight. 

I have so many negative thoughts going through my head.  What do I do? do i listen to my head or my heart.  

i will keep writing on here like @PeppiPatty has suggested.  it's the only thing that i feel okay to do.  i need the support at the moment.

Thanks @Fancy_Pants

[BlueBay]

I'm sorry @Silenus and @Fancy_Pants

Bloody husband!!!!

Instead of asking me how my session was this morning or even during the day or even asking me about our finances - he is worrying about the closet in the hall way that has so much shit in it.  He says to me 'we need to clean this cupboard as there is so much stuff we don't use'  WTF what about asking me how I am; or how was my session today.

NO just ignore me completeley it's okay I can do this alone, i don't need anyone; WELL I AM NOT OKAY AND I HATE BEING ALONE

Sorry for my rant

[BlueBay]

@Silenus - i can't help but worry.  I am so stressed with no money in our account.  We are in negative in 2 accounts. I am so scared that we won't be able to pay our mortgage and then we'll lose our home.  need to sell it now.

so much to worry about, i can't handle it anymore.  i feel like i am going to explode. 

I am back on my meds.  You say hang in there - what if i can't.

tears are flowing and i want to go away.

thanks so much for your hugs again.

[BlueBay]

This is a poem reg. my husband

Dear hubby

you sit around and think it's okay

just because we live by the bay

you always think things are fine

but we are hanging on a line

you never ask me if I'm okay

and I just wish you would say

hey just come and sit near me

and let's talk about how you could be free

but no you ignore me everyday

i wonder what I've done today

everyone blames me for not talking so much

but i think it's you too that can't talk in a rush

i feel that you blame me for our issues

but just wait while i grab the tissues

you are quick to say oh it's not me

but then you won't sit and chat with me

If only you knew how hard my life is

i sit and cry every single day

i have visions of my abuse

i feel so dark with my depression

and i feel sick in the stomach with anxiety

but how would you know

you don't ask

i just wish you would listen

and our lives would glisten

[Sylvester]

It is lovely that you are using the support on here and I encourage that you continue as it is a form of therapy.  In addition, it is also important to speak with Lifeline or other 24-hour support service ito discuss the "negative thoughts" you are experiencing.  Can I encourage you to ring and speak to a counsellor and you can also stay with us throughout the night?  Have a think about what you think you need at this point.

Regards

Sylvester