Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[Appleblossom]

I swore more when I was in teens early 20s. 

But thought really there are only so many swear words and life circumstances can often be much richer if expressed without resorting to the cheap alternatives.  Some people say words are cheap, but I know how much mine have cost, so I also value vocab @GonePirate

I am also aspie enough to be mind fogged by pictures of endless body parts if that is all anybody has to say

.. has any one on this site been part of the poetry slam movement?

its great in that it allows embodiment and performance .. and so words are not removed from the speaker?

@BlueBay I have european relatives too .. and sometimes they can be too tough cos of the war etc ... it damages them too much .. you have to protect yourself

can you personally design a guided imagery of your father ... make it into a meditation that you design .. your good memories of him .. scroll them into a video from your imagination ... that is what I had to do to come to terms with my father issue ... in that way we give the positive more power than focussing on the negative and further polarising gender issues.

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @BlueBay

I'm thinking of you. It's terribly hard not have a loving Mum and I never ever had one either.

I'm keeping myself busy with trying to get into a writing course. Ask @Appleblossom how much I've been writing about that. 

My brother has been writing to me to say just keep on taking care of only you. 

[BlueBay]

This is how I feel tonight -

I hate the hole I'm in
It feels like trash in the bin
I try to get out
No one hears me shout

I scream I cry I punch
Why didn't you make my lunch
You never believed me
I wish you could see
That I was a child and that's me

I sit here and cry
For I wish I could die
To ease the pain
So I guess you gain
To not see me anymore

I wish I could scream
Out your name
Or is this a dream
There is so much shame

For now I'm stuck
In this rut
Of darkness
No light to be seen

[Appleblossom]

i like the image of the cannonball @GonePirate

One of my few pleasant memories is climbing a cannon when my dad was still alive and trying to work out the seriousness in both my parents when they said it was used in war.  I was about 10.

how old is your son?

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @BlueBay and @NikNik @Appleblossom

@BlueBay dont worry, you will be good now......

@Appleblossom remember last year when I decided I didnt need all this meds and went down on them ?? Then I'm getting all these messages from Sane Forum about being concerned about me from modertors and my online friends......

on top of cutting down on meds, I had a prticualrly bad GP and didnt read her instructions and really messed up. My husband dragged me to the Doctors and I was put on the proper stuff. 

[GonePirate]

@Appleblossom my son will be 7 in july

hes growing up too fast if you ask me

slow it down down down hahahaha

[Appleblossom]

yes I remember @PeppiPatty

everything went topsy turvy for a while

[Appleblossom]

Well he is the right age to climb on old disused cannons and not know anything about war and have fun times with his dad and picnic in the park.

[Silenus]

You peeps are all awesome... loving the support and the creativity...

Hugs to you all... 🙂

[BlueBay]

I feel a grip on my neck

its getting tighter by the minute

my breath is slowing

i don't know why

i feel like caving in

does anyone care

my heart is aching

well you cares anyway

i am a no one

can't you see

i just want to be me

and who is that?

i am living a life

i don't want to be

but no one cares

cause it's just me

if only i could reach out

then today would be differnet

i don't know

what am i saying

nothing makes sense

but do you care

i will try to be better

that's all i can do