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Musings on My Life with Bipolar

Bipolar is a funny word. It was chosen as a better description of the mental health disorder than its former name, Manic Depression...

Let's break it down, for we often use words without thinking deeply enough about their meaning, both overt and hidden, and so we risk becoming the skimming stone across the surface of the water, not aware of the depths beneath...

As a writer, I often head for the OED (Oxford English Dictionary) as the one source of truth for the meanings of words in the English language...

 

bi-: two; having two.

polar: relating to a pole or poles; directly opposite in character or tendency.

 

Now I don't know about others with bipolar, but my experience of it is a little more complicated than having just two things directly opposite in character or tendency. It is so much more than the binary option of mania and depression. It is all of the infinite confusing complicated mess in between those two poles, often much more than it is ever about the poles themselves...

 

As a man of science (I am an electrical engineer and a technical writer in my day job) I thought quite reasonably that I would be able to think my way out of my mental health issues... bahahahahaaaa... what a laugh... but hey, the scientific process is all about starting with an approach, and if that approach is found not to work, it has to be either modified so that it does work or abandoned as a dud... as scientists (and as ordinary human beings) we learn as much if not more from our mistakes as we do from our smooth sailing and our victories...

The problem with thoughts is that they never come as just one thought... it would be so simple (and quiet!) if we had just one thought at the time, and that was it... no avalanche of thoughts following on from that first thought... but over time, we have evolved and been conditioned to overthink, and some of us are much better at it than others...

The vast majority of mental health issues involve overthinking as a prominent feature. I believe that overthinking is both a symptom and a cause of our mental health issues...

Every time I had a bad or negative thought, using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and other related types of rewiring-our-thoughts therapies, I would challenge the thought and come up with more helpful ones to replace them. Don't get me wrong, this type of therapy is a very important step, especially in the early stages of our mental health recovery journey...

It's damn difficult to rewire the thought patterns of a lifetime. It's hard work to choose to use different words and wording in your own thoughts when you have been reinforcing those same views and beliefs and conditioning and programming for a lifetime. It is nigh on impossible to control the near-constant churning of emotions and moods that boil and bubble beneath the surface of our thoughts...

Thoughts alone cannot fix our mental health issues, but damn they can do a lot to improve our condition and make the fight so much easier... they can go a long way to changing the very disposition of a person, from negative to more positive, from angry to gentler, from despairing to more hopeful...

 

The words we choose in our thoughts do a lot to affect our moods, and our moods do a lot to affect our language... it is an important dual relationship... when I am depressed, I am monosyllabic at best; when I am hypomanic, I can talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles whilst Whistling Dixie...

 

The problem with focusing too much on thoughts is that it is the rabbit hole that never ends. The wordier you get upstairs [Silenus points to his head] the less peace and quiet you have, and we need peace and quiet to be able to survive and to heal... so we have a problem...

Having focused on making good thoughts to challenge the bad thoughts (which then goes on to spawn further bad thoughts that need further new good thoughts to challenge them), now we find that there is a constant inner conflict. The different voices of the thoughts in your head continuously argue back and forth, and the chatter becomes unbearable. You want to scream: "QUUUIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEETTT!!!!"

 

And then you have to change direction again, take another fork in the road of your mental health journey... you have to learn how to be quiet, how to still the inner word storms of your thoughts, how to broker a peace between the multiple fragments of yourself that are constantly bickering and arguing and calling each other names...

The conflict must come to an end... and then you think "But in order for conflict to come to an end, there must be someone who takes authority over all the others and says 'Stop fighting,' and all that does is to create another aspect of my personality that is trying to take charge and control all of the other warring parts, who will all then have someone new to fight."

 

Hahahaha... and that is when you realise that you just have to stop thinking...

 

That's where Mindfulness comes into play... it is the meditative silence of one's thoughts that allows one to be fully present in the Now moment... thoughts, words, they take you away from the appreciation of existence that lies beyond words, and that is truly a great loss...

And so, more hard work ensues to try and still the inner torrent of words to a trickle and then to silence... and as with CBT it is hard at first (almost impossible!) but it becomes easier with time and effort and practice, until it gets to the point where you have successfully reprogrammed yourself and the new patterns stick...

 

The next step is to realise that all patterns are somehow restricting our ability to live a truly authentic life, even the good patterns that we sometimes need in order to survive...

 

I think "Bipolar" is a small word with a lot of meaning...

 

Much love and respect to the community... thanks for reading another one of Silenus' Wordy Ramblings...

Re: Musings on My Life with Bipolar

today I found out I lost my job snd will be redundant in two weeks. 😢😢


Today's the day I will remember 

I will no longer have a job 

the loss the sadness 

is all coming by

 

I'll miss my lovely customers 

ive known them for many years

we became friends with some 

 

some older customers  would come in 

and tell me the same story week in week out 

and I would just smile and listen 

 

I cherish the chats I've had 

They walk in and I know who they are 

all by their first names 

 

I'm going to miss them all terribly 

I didn't think I would but I will 

 

and the amazing staff 

well I can only say I've had the best time eith this great bunch of people 

always supportive when I was in hospital with my mental health 

I have been at this pharmacy for a total of 10 years. 
Five years a while ago then I came back snd now 5 years again. 

where do I go from here????

Re: Musings on My Life with Bipolar

Hello @BlueBay   @Silenus , @Maggie , @Appleblossom , @Exoplanet 

My husband has bipolar 11 plus other diagnosis

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

A bad day

Didn't think any fault of my own

Can't make sense

No help available

Knowing same problem will be there tomorrow

May be I will be surprised by my own strength tomorrow

Then I have lived harder days before

God help me.

 

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Meowmy  We might have been in the same place yesterday. I didn’t see you there, but it was very dark. Sending some 💙💙💙💙 hope today is better.

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Maggie hey Maggie, sweetie ,hope your day will be a good one. Struggling here. Just going one step at a time. Take care.

 

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Meowmy  💛💛💛

Musings on Mental Health and Passion

That’s what passion is – this urge to pour ourselves fully into a cup, all the way to the brim...

Passion. It is the difference between merely existing and truly living. A life without passion is no life at all...

As a person gifted-cursed with bipolar, I have a bit of a Goldilocks relationship with passion. The first mood was too passionate... the second mood was not passionate enough... but the third mood was juuuuuuust right...

My bipolar mood spectrum goes further up and down (or left and right) than a normal person's experiences of mood, except under the most stressful and dire of life circumstances...

I can say it no more easily than this... for people with mental health issues that involve suicidal ideation, every single day is a life and death struggle...

Now if that doesn't inspire passion, I don't know what does...

When I am profoundly depressed, all passion for life is robbed from me. My passion lies dormant, and mental states such as dissociation and anhedonia complete the cryogenic stasis of my consciousness that turns into months of timeless time passed uncaringly in darkened rooms...

When I am hypomanic, my passions reach out to every corner of the Multiverse, filling it, joining as one with all that exists... with infinity in my eye, I soar above all the gods that have ever been and will ever be... I burn with passion brighter and hotter than all the stars in the sky...

And then there's the "just right" of relative normality, when I am neither too high nor too low in my passions... I am neither frozen nor ablaze...

How we incorporate passion in our lives is so important... the things we are passionate about are the things that get us out of bed in the morning, that allow us to keep going when the tank is empty, that allow us to keep fighting even after the fight is over...

Embrace your passions... they, along with your willpower, are your engine room, your source of power... use your passions to achieve your dreams...

And don't forget... a passion for compassion is the greatest passion there is... 🙏💕

Thanks for reading... much love and respect to the community...

Re: Musings on My Life with Bipolar

I am so sorry to hear this, @BlueBay ... my missus and I own a small shop, and her and her sister work in it... the relationships that we have developed with our customers (in a small rural town) has been a source of wonder and joy over the past year and a half or so since we opened our doors...

I hope you are able to find other avenues to keep such casual and yet very powerful relationships going with other people... there is much wonder in the minutiae of the casual relationships we have within our communities...

Sending lots of hugs and gentle healing vibes your way...

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

A leaf

has left the tree

Never to return

no matter how hard

the tree may try

 

I

have left my family 

Never to return

no matter how hard

my mother may try

 

Why says the tree

does my leaf have to leave

What have I done

whines the tree

 

Why says my mother

so you have to leave

What have I done

whines my mother

 

Its not what you've done

Its what you haven't done

The secrets in the closet

The secrets in the basement

The shiny happy family

 

Leave me be

Dont ask how I am

Dont come to visit

Dont talk to me

Every word you say

Brings no pleasure

Just pain