07-08-2019 04:57 PM
07-08-2019 04:57 PM
I'm just wondering... where do i go from here... now that i know the truth ... it's become a journey of very few (good) options ... i must say...
07-08-2019 06:13 PM
07-08-2019 06:13 PM
Yes, that’s all we can do @-Liz-
I hope your day has gone ok.
Mine has been 😳😫 again.
Tried getting nbn on. Was there for ages, still not sorted.
Now visiting mum. Really sad how she’s deteriorated.
Hmm 🤔 something positive. I had a nice cuppa just now.
Looks like not much for dinner tonight. Not sure when I’ll get home
hi everyone.
💜🌷👋
07-08-2019 06:51 PM - edited 07-08-2019 06:52 PM
07-08-2019 06:51 PM - edited 07-08-2019 06:52 PM
not exactly sure if i should put this here or on a venting thread but anyway here goes
dear child of mine
i know that you think i am being harsh
i know that you believe it is unfair
but the rules i put in place are not there for you to just ignore
you say that your not little and you know what you are doing
but honestly child your not even double figures
so stop the complaing i dont need your attitude
i see you rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath
i notice your defient manner and bored glazed look
but you misbehaved and didnt do whats right
so im teaching you a lesson of what happens when your bad
so that you learn that every choice you make has consequence
right now you may not like it
you may think i am being mean
but one day you will appreciate these lessons
because they made you a better human being
07-08-2019 08:46 PM
07-08-2019 08:46 PM
Hi @-Liz-
if the situation was one of my kids I would encourage talking it through with their psych and if they said hospital then I would agree. If I saw my child deteriorating like keeping to themselves and being very short and snappy with family then I would def do something.
See this is where I would love my hubby if he would be more involved. But he’s not. He doesn’t ask questions at all.
I undetstsbd what you’re saying.
08-08-2019 09:01 PM
08-08-2019 09:01 PM
Somehow it is hard to forget about you. Or to ignore those silences of yours.You said you don't have much emotional attachment to me. That my emotional needs of you drag you down. But I know you are trying hard, trying your best.. You wouldn't admit defeat . Then you know your disability. I could dream away my days. But I know somehow you are very important. To my life.
10-08-2019 10:34 PM
10-08-2019 10:34 PM
I feel uneasy, so much that I don't think of sleep. Now the night has come upon this place. I think of my illness, that could be that I am prone to agitation to pressure situations.. Though nervous of important deeds not within my control. I think of you. Memories that you were always there in all my pressure situations. Those sunsets so tender on the waters, you sat besides me to watch the ends of those difficult days. Then you are not to be found, hours,days, that you shut the world out of your presence. I know you don't want pity. The world was kind to me to the point of my last effort to hold on my life. I had to hold on,hold on tight to the very slim hope of chance to survive. But then you understood. You came to sit beside me to talk me through.. Year after year, I began to have some understanding. I fought hard to hold on to hope of survival.Each day over as achievement. Tonight is another night, when the pressure here again. Then I look back, how tremendous that I am still here. Hey, you shut yourself in again. So I am alone again. I put my hand on my heart. I and me,will have to survive this night.
10-08-2019 10:53 PM
10-08-2019 10:53 PM
Hello @Meowmy
Beautiful words, I hope the night is kind and you can get some rest. Take care, MummaMia
11-08-2019 03:57 PM
11-08-2019 03:57 PM
I was shaky,picking up the phone to see if you are out of your cave for hiding. Then I know you mean well, supporting me step by step to greater independence,happiness,confidence,and health. I read through the pages of information. Relieved at the words so factual.My emotions there thinking of you. On a cold Winter afternoon here, where the years had passed by. Those distressed moments imprints still in my mind. Then it was you who saw me out of there.I couldn’t have predicted that. I didn’t know the end would come so soon. I couldn’t see it coming. I couldn’t see it at a distance. I couldn’t know the meaning. I couldn’t step back and see the whole picture. By accident, I bumped into you again. So you stood by me those darkest days,weeks, months. So I came out of the muddle once again. I look up the skies and see the Winter grey clouds. Would you have told me the true then if I was not so unwell?
11-08-2019 06:38 PM
11-08-2019 06:38 PM
Now the evening sets in, deep in Winter, the coolness in the air, layers of warming blankets, tv sounding faint in the background. Still and late, the day quietly going. The times of dark struggles , the memories lurking surrounding the room. Hard to see. Why , how, it went on. The experiences , the skills gained. But the price of such. Was it blinding, why couldn’t I see it coming, But then I did leave, the place where I spent years. I learnt , much with your support. Each step thought about. Now closing in. The era to overcome despair. So, you still here. Why wouldn’t you say this.
12-08-2019 09:36 AM
12-08-2019 09:36 AM
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