Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[eth]

@BlueBay Attending to your inner child is healthy and necessary.  As you know as a parent any child screaming for attention needs love and nurturing.  Did you make it to the outpatient's place?

[Silenus]

Wow, @eth. Just wow. Amazing poem.

There's a few things in that poem... I need to work on them in my life...

I can overpower with my enthusiasm and my loquaciousness when I'm too hypo...

I love the lines:

Power in
Power up
But not Power over

My marriage which eventually failed after 10 years looked picture perfect from the outside. All of my friends held our marriage up to the light and compared it to their own, and often found their own marriages wanting. In all that time, we laughed and loved, and never once had an argument. Not one...

But that's not actually healthy. Our marriage was not peaceful and all laughter and love. It was two people on slightly different journeys, getting further and further apart, each tearing themself apart to try and still walk together, but the distance kept getting further. It was two people, both so prone to avoiding conflict at any cost. It was two people, slowly growing in passive aggressiveness...

You nailed it with your description about the passive aggressive... such a silent cancer...

Also, hurting people by omission... such a powerful thing. Even more so, withholding love from another can be one of the greatest hurts we can ever visit upon someone... most especially if we withhold love from ourselves...

@eth - thank you for this poem. It's shown me how far I have come in the past 5 years... and what I still need to remain vigilant about...

[Silenus]

Most of my poetry is very open and honest. With this one, I wrote a few things about myself from my inner world to try and describe what the extremes of bipolar are like for me. I didn't pull any punches - I have a lifetime of brutal and cruel selft talk within the confines of my skull...

Bipolar – A Journey of Extremes

I am a sad little man laying distraught upon his bed,
     with faults and regrets aplenty…

I am a majestic blazing creature of creative energy,
     passion, joy and glory…

I am a useless bastard who is too soft and sensitive for this world,
     and often seeks to hide…

I am a messianic wisdom figure who craves your positive feedback
     when I deliver my pearls from on high…

I am a pathetic snivelling little people pleaser,
     a social and emotional chameleon (or maybe a leech)…

I am laughter, honest and pure, never revelling in schadenfreude,
     but rather in irony or puns both witty and corny…

I am the betrayer of my ex-wife’s dreams of a happy family together,
     as I failed to ignite an inner passion to father children…

I am the protector, the carer, the empath who is not afraid to admit
     that he may not understand, but he cares deeply…

I am filled with impotent rage, railing at the obvious wrongs
     and imbalances in society which somehow still exist…

I am potential for sudden and rapid personal growth, just crouching
     in the shadows and ready to spring into fabulous action…

Somewhere in between all of these is what some of you may see
Someone who is struggling, but seems okay
But behind the Mask are Depths and Breadths of Emotion
Unlike Anything The World Has Ever Seen

This is Bipolar

Hopeless
Larger than Life
All up in your Face
As serious as a Heart Attack
Caring, Empathic and Loving
A Soap Opera in the Really Real World
Excited to Experience each Moment Now
Soaring the Thermals like the Greatest Eagle
Smiled upon by Destiny and bound for Greatness
Digging down through Darkest Earth like a Mole
Not quite Sure what is Going on or Why it is so
A hibernating Bear, all Matted and Bent Awry
Hiding Trembling in a Darkened Room
Staring Death in the Bony Orbit
Totally Sapped of vital Energy
A bit All Over The Place
Wild and Crazy
Piss funny

Please take a Seat
Enjoy The Show!

[Silenus]

This poem once again talks about the virtues of writing things down.

One of the most amazing things about works of art, poetry included, is that once the artist has finished with it, they lose creative ownership of it. As soon as another person appreciates the work of art, that person starts to own the art. They project their own selves onto the work of art. They interpret things differently to the original artist, perhaps. They see things that the artist never intended. They read into it parts of themselves, and integrate this with the work of art.

It's a wonderful symbiosis, and it fills me with joy...

What Is Poetry?

When that which is within
Wants to get out,
Words spill on the page
Without fear or doubt.

Paint a picture with words
Using your skills,
It’s what’s helped me cope
Without using pills.

One part life experience
And one part creative spark,
Something mysterious
That keeps back the dark.

Once it is written
And shown to another,
It takes on new life
Without fuss or bother.

Then the reader adds
A life of their own,
And these simple word seeds
Are lovingly grown.

[eth]

Couldn't have said it better myself @Silenus.  I love it when words or combinations of words take on multiple meanings.  As usual your writing really speaks to me.  Fantastic to have this new connection in my life.

[GonePirate]

in my silence you will find my answer

there is hatred in my eyes

and the fire spread like cancer

as my anger never dies

wish upon an empty bottle

for a safe place to hide

my mind is running at full throttle

and refuses to subside

so silently i sit and wait

for some changed to occur

slowly i begin to navigate

my mind which is a blur

hazy images distant chatter

what the hell is wrong

it doesnt even really matter

it shouldnt last this long

dying inside i refuse to breath

i want it all to die

turn around and try to leave

i often ponder why

why it follows me wherever i go

and i can never just be free

i guess i will just never know

why this sorrow follows me

and in my absence you will find a note

adressed to my own brain

and this is what it is i wrote

thank you for the pain

because it helped me to evolve

into a better man

the problems that i couldnt solve

i soon learnt to understand

as a vital thing for me to face

and to never shy away

but to clamber over at my own pace

or to tackle another day

the pain has taught me to be strong

and never give up the fight

its not as if now nothing wrong

and that i am alright

its like the cancers in remission

it could come back any day

but it will never come to full fruition

as long as i can have a say

tooth and nail i will claw

at the beast within my head

to be better than i was before

because i wont be better off dead

[eth]

@Silenus thankyou so much for sharing more of your story in your response to my poem (Em)Power. Your response really touched me.

Love your poem @GonePirate.  Says so much.

[Silenus]

Duuuuuuude!!!

Cap'n. @GonePirate ...brotherman...

That message, so beautifully writ,
Now that, my brother, is powerful shizz;
Never quit, peeps...

I believe;
My heart reprieve;
There is a power within us...
To transform our brain,
Inspired by our pain,
Striving to retrain,
Going against the grain,
Abel to beat the mark of Cain,
Being between the "in" and the "sane",
Derailed lots but back on track train...

[Silenus]

Why thank you @eth - yes it's a great delight to connect with you...

That's what humans say, isn't it? Giggle...

Hugs and happy vibes beaming to you @eth 🙂

[eth]

Happy vibes to you too @Silenus