Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[outlander]

hi @Mazarita 

im struggling with alot of things tonight. just the usual stuff that likes to linger and can never seem to shift off. and a few triggers of recent and now a loveley big dose of vertigo has hit me tonight

[Mazarita]

Hugs, @outlander. Vertigo might be related to anxiety too, I'm guessing. Any movies on where you are tonight? I've been watching bits of Star Trek: The Search for Spock. It's a really good one but I've seen it before and not much into the TV mood. 

[outlander]

yeah i think your right there @Mazarita i jsut made another thread for tips on what to do for vertigo- the lovely @faith-and-hope gave me the suggestions to go and lay down in bed. so ive jsut taken my meds and i hope it passes soon. so far its still in full force.

im in bed. i was watching cake wars on sbs on demand on the computer but im not really in the mood for it

[Mazarita]

Hope it passes very quickly for you when you lie down and relax more, @outlander. Meds should help too. I'm getting sleepy here too, have already taken mine. 

Edit: gotta go, getting too tired now. Nightie night, @outlander. 

[outlander]

i hope so too @Mazarita its not fun at all and not even pain killers ahs helped me this time.

i hope you get a good nights sleep. my tabets are still going to take another 2 or 3 weeks to see a good effect

[outlander]

good night @Mazarita sleep well

[BlueBay]

Voices:

Voices in my head are getting louder

There are so many in the crowd

laughing, angry people

just laughing and talking

some are telling me what to do

some are just watching me

and one in particular is saying

i am weak, i am not strong

if i did what they say

i would be in trouble

but then i would see someone

who i have missed

but no i can't do that

these voices and visions 

are really frustrating

annoying and scary

i want them to go away

i close my eyes and close them tight

for i wish they would go away

but then i open my eyes

and no they are still there

i pray to God that He helps me

and He takes away the pain

I hope that He can help me

for I am stuck in this mess

[outlander]

[Former-Member]

words

words can't describe

what i feel inside

standing tall

feeling small

my body abused

my brain confused

my memories obscured

i feel i've been lured

in the depth of my soul

and found a deep hole

war shatters the mind

i'm surprised i can find

that i'm still alive

ptsd

is what i see

childhood trauma

is that a diploma

and complex grief

mucks up my belief

i feel lost

and i wonder what cost

i'll be paying

for saying out loud 

what should have stayed hidden

what i was told was forbidden

locked away in my soul

[outlander]

Whose our former member?