Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[Former-Member]

Flitter, flutter, mind a clutter
Sirens screaming, am I dreaming
What on Earth is wrong?

Shift and shutter, melt like butter
Panic streaming, am I dreaming
Will I take too long?

Pitter, putter, no words to utter
Fearful beaming, am I dreaming
Has my safety gone?

Bitter Mother, like no other
Heated screening, am I dreaming
How can I go on?

Critter, flitter, jump and jitter
Feelings weaning, am I dreaming
This was just a con!

[Former-Member]

Tears fill my eyes and flood my mind. I can no longer see. My sight is so blind. I have this overwhelming sadness. Overwhelming need for life to end. I just have gotten to the point where I feel completely and utterly stuck - I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get support in this life. I just got let go by my only support - with no explanation and no attempt to even help me.

Is there hope? I don't think so.

I have nothing. I didn't even finish high school due to my dooming mind and actions - of trying to take my life time and time again, to no avail. I don't have a diploma, a degree.. nothing. I don't have a job. I don't have a sight of the future. I don't want a future. I don't want to witness and feel my bones grow old.

I don't want to live only to hurt others. Only to constantly be in this mindset - a mind I hate. So conflicting and so confusing. I don't even understand myself.

Things can't go two ways. I just want everything to end. Indefinitely.

I don't want the warmness of my breathe or the wind against the trees. I don't want to be this - a disappointment.

I don't know WHAT to DO 😞 and at every seam I am tearing apart. I was sewn together only to be torn apart.

I feel this way - and nothing has partically gone wrong lately. If there is no trigger - I just suppose that I will forever feel this way. It's been too long.

Everywhere I go, I always here the same words "We can't help you" whether in hospital or in the community. I always hear it. Time and time again

When I am in hospital they say I need to be in the community. When I am in the community they say I need to be in hospital. When I am left by the hospital with a discharge plan to receive help in the community. That help in the community just - POOF - leaves me alone with myself to rot.

Nobody understands. Hell- I don't understand.

I want nothing to do with this life - with anything.

You don't have to reply to this. Please don't reply to this.

With tears to my eyes, filling up my mind. Something so foggy

Let my life fade

[outlander]

@Former-Member 

hi @Former-Member sounds like your going through a pretty rough patch hey

do you want to tag me onto another thread and we can chat?

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@outlander

it is fine 💔💜

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I have sent you are email, Please stay safe

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member .....

I am here with you too .....

💐🌿🌷

[Former-Member]

thank-you but no need ❣💔

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

[outlander]

you dont sound fine @Former-Member please know we are here for you and that we care. we are here if you want to chat otherwise we can just sit with you

[Faith-and-Hope]

Happy to just sit with you too @dazedanias ....

💜🌷