Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[Former-Member]

...@silenus..yas this I came to realize today..:ok_hand:

'Die for yourself each moment, in order to truly live'
👏😊💥

[Silenus]

Support

Oh, hi... just me...

So. Here we are. I sit here, typing away, once again a little perplexed by the whole structure of society...

...and not a little worried about the whole "computer says no" culture that technology has given us...

A human has a simple problem... they seek assistance, to fix this simple problem... the people whose job it is to fix this particular simple problem fix this particular simple problem...

It's not rocket science...

That's how it's all meant to work, right???

Alas, our society is not like that. There are rules and regulations all over the place, hemming us in, and we blind puppets just follow it all without stopping to question how totally dumbass the rules or regulations are...

The problem is not with dumb rules. The problem is with supposedly intelligent human beings who dumbly follow the dumb rules...

Case in point...

My mum died 2 and a half years ago. My dad survives her...

He has an Internet connection via satellite dish with a mob called SkyMesh...

Or, he should have an Internet connection...

Only... his Internet connection doesn't work... he's paying for his Internet connection, but it doesn't work...

In step I, to try and fix this simple problem on his behalf, so that it doesn't cause him concern and bother...

But there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, for the "computer says no"...

Apparently, the Internet connection account is in my deceased mother's name, and that's what is causing a problem...

After waiting on hold for 1 hour and 23 minutes, finally I am able to speak to my first "Support" person...

I explain the issue at length, saying I am calling on behalf of my father, who doesn't get around very well at the moment... I explain that his Internet connection is down, and he has no way to check his emails...

Whilst I had been waiting in that lovely phone queue with absolutely no spoken indication that my call was progressing in any kind of queue, listening to their crappy choice of elevator music... well, I logged onto my father's webmail, coz I'm his IT support guy in real life...

I read all of the odd emails from SkyMesh Accounts or "Support"...

All those emails... which, by the way, my father can't read because his Internet connection isn't working...

Which is kind of the whole point in the first place... to fix his Internet connection...

The first email... goodness me... it asked for my mother to contact them to close down the account, so that my father could open an account in his name...

My deceased mother...

Erm... okay...

I'll get right onto organising a seance...

So, a paper trail of undelivered emails, then an email that says your 50 MB of email storage is full...

No more emails...

Because my father's Internet connection wasn't working, so he couldn't retrieve his emails...

I might have mentioned that as being the initial simple problem...

Now, I'm stepping in because I want to help my father get his Internet connection back...

I want some "Support", because that's what the department is called... that's their job... to support the service, the Internet connection, that they provide and that my father pays for...

The Internet connection that isn't working...

The nice "Support" man on the end of the line (I can hear the practiced sincerity and warmth in his voice)...

He tells me that I have to email them a copy of the death certificate...

But the Internet connection isn't working...

...and my father only has a hard copy of his deceased wife's death certificate at best, and even if he did have a soft copy, he can't email it because the Internet connection isn't working...

He doesn't have access to a scanner...

The nice "Support" man on the end of the line (I can hear the practiced sincerity and warmth in his voice)...

He tells me that he shouldn't even be talking to me, because my name is not on the account...

I explain the situation (AGAIN!!!)...

I say that I am only trying to help my father, and could someone from "Support" please call my father and sort out his Internet connection, which isn't working...

I say there's no point in me being in the middle of all this... I'm 1,150 kilometres away from him geographically in this large country, and I obviously don't have his computer in front of me, so how about you call my father...

The nice "Support" man on the end of the line (I can hear the practiced sincerity and warmth in his voice)...

He tells me that there would be no point in calling my father because he would not be able to speak to him either, because his name is not on the account...

Oh the nice "Support" man... being so very supportive...

He tells me that I have to get my father to make a copy of the death certificate and post it...

I say that my father lives in a remote-ish part of NSW - 35 kilometres to the nearest town, and 9 kilometres of dirt track between his house and the sealed road...

And right now, the heavens have been blessing that area with too much rain...

Lots of roads cut...

And my father's health is not the best these days... 80 years old, weak ticker... on his second bypass surgery and second pacemaker... not walking well at all...

The nice "Support" man repeats the same line the rules and regulations (and the script he is sincerely and warmly reading from) tell him to...

They have to have a copy of the death certificate...

I say how difficult that would be for my father...

The nice "Support" man and I keep repeating what we are saying, and we are going around in circles...

I ask the nice "Support" man if he would be able to escalate the issue and transfer me to someone more "Supportive"...

I wait on hold...

I speak to someone in Acounts now...

I explain the simple problem to the nice woman from Accounts...

My father's Internet connection is not working...

The nice woman from Accounts says that's a "Support" issue, but she can help me with the account issue I've got...

I explain in great detail everything I explained to the nice "Support" man...

The nice woman from Accounts follows the same rulebook as the nice "Support" man, and can add no further to solving this simple problem...

I ask the nice woman from Accounts if she would be able to escalate the issue and transfer me to their supervisor...

The nice woman from Accounts has no supervisors available to talk to me, but a nice supervisor calls me back a short while later...

I explain the simple problem again...

My father's Internet connection is not working...

The nice supervisor follows the same rulebook as the nice "Support" man and the nice woman from Accounts, and can add no further to solving this simple problem...

I ask the nice supervisor why their department is called "Support"...

And still, my father has a simple problem...

My father's Internet connection is not working...

The nice supervisor is not able to support me...

The nice supervisor asks me if there is anything else he can help me with (reading from his script)...

I say...

"Else? ELSE??? "Else" is an odd choice of word...

Surely, oh nice supervisor, you would first have to help me, in order to be able to ask if there was anything ELSE that you could help me with...

Support...

[Silenus]

Internal Struggle

All of my precious energy is spent,
And all of my built up emotion is pent;
I'm standing here as my own bested rival,
Looking to get more from life than survival;
So it's time to take life by the horns,
And walk like a youngster on old people's corns;
If life taught me lessons through pleasure and pain,
I go for what fires me and keeps me insane;
Comfortably Numb is a great place to be,
But you don't get to be better by denying to be free;
Walk the hard path and dare to be brave,
Look into yourself, and your own path you pave.

[Silenus]

Go Be Important

Funny how life beyond the pale of the fringe brings you to places...

Life becomes unimportant, meaningless, annoying, irksome...

Painful...

Then we isolate ourselves... it hurts too much and we don't want to share pain...

Last thing we want to do is share, create or propagate pain...

And so we stay away from our loved ones in a self-imposed exile, believing it better that we keep away from human contact, licking our wounds...

This is a sensible survival mechanism...

But it misses out on a whole lotta healing feeling caring love, right there from the loved ones that get shut out by this hurting vulnerable isolation...

I have hurt this way... many times... and have turned away from friends and family because I want to shield them from my crazy hurt...

It's a natural reaction, but you miss out on all the love...

However you guys and gals are tonight... thank you for being you...

You're all important in other people's lives and in your own...

Go be important...

[Silenus]

The Mountain

When you discover how pliable and flexible reality is within the confines of yourself, there is never frustration or movement away from peace... that which is, simply is... the mountain fills us with joy and with majesty when we gaze upon it... the mountain only becomes a problem when we wish to climb it, to conquer it... then we project ourselves onto the mountain, and the joy and the majesty are lost to us... the mountain is not a mirror... there is none of our self in it... it is only us, projecting ourselves, looking at our own image in vain pride... the mountain is still a mountain... we need only look upon it with ever-fresh non-projecting eyes and awaken to our joy and sense of majesty... then, there is a return to peace...

[Silenus]

Another poem about the nature of religion... I trust it will not offend...

The Godhood of Usul

There came a time when the believers were lost... they had gone as far as they could go... beyond the known is the unknown... the believers, not knowing, felt fear grip them... quaking with fear, they turned to their new God Usul... "You know it all Usul."... and Usul replied... "I know."... the believers felt the warmth of this certainty ease their fears...  and so Usul remained as their God...

[Silenus]

Who Are You?

Who are you?
What is the self?
What is a you?
Who are you?

Ask your self these questions... delve into it for yourself...

What is this "self" of which you yourself speak?

Who are you?

Your mind...

Your memories... experiences... beliefs...

The past...

A collection of images, words and feelings in your mind...

Who are you?

Who is the you asking "who are you"?

You are the contents of your mind, shaped and populated by the past...

If this is so, then you can easily be a different you...

A house can be renovated... painted... added to... modified...

The house can be filled with different things... some things break... some things are lost... some things are ugly or no longer fashionable...

If the house is not to your liking, you can move to a different house... or knock the house down and build another...

Who are you?
What is the self?
What is a you?
Who are you?

Who is the you projecting the concept of a "home" onto the blank canvas of a house?

You are the contents of your mind, shaped and populated by the past...

If this is so, then you can easily be a different you...

Who are you?

[Silenus]

Talk Too Much

People say I talk too much... tell me something I *don't* know... talks too much... that crap is written all over just about every report card from kindy through to the end of high school... and hey, just for the record, I talked too much at university too... "Please Silenus, don't be stupid."... and then I continued to talk too much all through my life... words... I'm a writer, a poet, with a bipolar-supercharged overactive mind... my thoughts, they talk too much...

[Silenus]

An Inspirational Quote

I like a good inspirational quote as much as the next person... apparently, Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying "Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed."... these are wise words... But... alas, there were only 2.4 billion of us in 1948 (back in Gandhi's time), and now we're pushing 7.5 billion... the world population has tripled since Gandhi died... it won't need human greed to finish off this planet... simple maths will do the job just fine... my take on it all? Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's need to breed... need begets need and suddenly there's lots more hungry mouths needing a feed...

[Silenus]

My latest poem, peeps…. I hope you enjoy it…

It deals with my current conceptualisation of the cosmic all…

A lot of it has to do with waves and ripples throughout space and time, in our lives emotionally as well as to all things on the physical plane…

A lot of it has to do with the incessant constant uncontrollable sound of my thoughts, which is part and parcel of the gift-curse of bipolar that I have as a reality in my life…

A lot of it has to do with finding my own way to self knowledge and self awareness…

With that came a lot of reminders to my “Self” that evolution of self is a very important thing…

If we want to improve the world, start small…

Improve myself as step one…

Step two? World domination and all that crap? None of that matters one jot to me…

Step two? Keep improving…

To make the world a better place,
Look in the mirror and like the face…

Most of all, though, this poem attempts to describe to you wonderful people out there that your whole world view can change in an instant!

It’s that fragile, and that powerful, both at the same time…

Meditation… true meditation, not the walking and chanting and stretching and sitting cross-legged and uncomfortable…

True meditation… the quiet beyond all the chatter… take the chatter away, all the quiet is just there…

It’s breathtaking…

It’s perfect…

But enough waffle about my world views…

The silence leads to insight because we are truly in the moment, away from the limited world of our thinking brain…

With insight comes a breaking of patterns, a freeing of bonds, and many new ways of living and observing the world and the greater Universe…

Through insight, we can gain deep understanding and wisdom…

It all lies within…

Seek within to live without…

#SelfEvolutionRevolution…

Oh, and for the fellow poets out there interested in style stuff…

I am experimenting with a particular style here, where the stanza structure and rhyme scheme reflect around the middle, just like a sound wave…

Well… that’s what I had in mind…

Hugs and happy vibes beaming to you all… 🙂

Sound Wave

Profound
Is the sound
Of silence…

It makes my heart pound
That sound
Of silence…

It shows where I’m bound
That sound
Of silence…

Of silence…
That sound
Stops me being bound

Of silence…
That sound
Stops the thoughts that pound

Of silence…
Is the sound
Profound