The Butterfly Room- ED support

[Eden1919]

@Bow  I can empathise my head is screaming at me too and it really does suck so so much. hopefully your shower is helpful and relaxing for you and you can get some quality rest tonight. 

[Eden1919]

I am really struggling tonight no matter what i do nothing is enough and my head wont stop screaming at me and idk what to do anymore i cant take this much longer it has been 18 freaking years and it just wont stop. 

[MDT]

Sorry to hear youre in pain @Eden1919
I hope you find solace soon
Sometimes i think similar things about myself as i get depressed about myself.

Take care

[jazz]

Hi Eden sounds like it is a real struggle for you tonight, we have sent you an email, please look after yourself and check in with the supports as well as contacting appropriate suppprts if things escalate for you. Please take care

[Bow]

Hey @Eden1919 hoping that you managed to get through the night and you can be kind to yourself today. Sorry that things are so difficult for you at the moment. Hang in there 💕

[Bow]

When I want to listen to my body, be kind to it and nourish it, yet my eating disorder is screaming at me not to. 😩

[Eden1919]

@Bow  I am sorry you are dealing with that is there anything that usually helps? 

[Bow]

Yet to find anything @Eden1919 

[Bow]

This morning I got my friendly reminder text for my appointment with my dietitian on Saturday. I am trying to decide whether or not to go. I don’t want to keep wasting her time- that’s what I feel like I am doing. I need to think hard about whether I am really ready for recovery? Am I willing to commit to it? 

Last fortnight she put together a nourishment plan for me to help keep me medically stable. I have hardly been able to stick to any of it. It is just too hard. I rarely have lunch and if I do it’s just an up and go. I rarely have the snacks. With everything else that is going on around me, restricting is my go to way to cope. I know that I need to be using this nourishment plan because I am having increasingly more episodes of feeling dizzy and lethargic. But what more can my dietitian do for me if I can’t stick to this plan? 

I feel so defeated by this eating disorder. It’s stolen so much from me and slowly destroying me. 

[Paperdaisy]

@Bow I can really feel how defeated you feel by this. You deserve recovery Bow and you show so much strength and bravery just coming here each and every time that I know you can do this. You are not wasting your dieticians time, she wants to help you and you deserve that support. Are you able to web chat  to someone via the butterfly foundation?💕💕💕