Are you a 'para' trooper or stuck in the sympathetic?
The human nervous system controls us. Its more powerful than our thoughts and always takes precedence over our thinking. If you've ever experienced a panic attack, you'll know that trying to talk yourself calm doesn't work. Indeed, a lot of people seeing another upset will tell them, "Calm down!" - like that ever works☺️
Our bodies are infinitely wise and priority goes always to doing whatever it takes to keep you safe, keep you alive. We all possess a stress response (the sympathetic nervous system) and a calm response (the parasympathetic nervous system). To remember which is which, think of a paratrooper coming down to save the day and restore calm, and sympathy as in the chaos of a symphony orchestra playing every part out of sequence.
When we are under extreme stress or experience trauma, the nervous system goes into one of several different modes in order to protect us from threat. The first is flight - we can run away (images of Monty Python's Holy Grail knights storming the castle come to mind!)
Sometimes we fight - we attack. Maybe we freeze and hope nobody notices us? Finally, we may fawn - we placate an aggressor (common in abuse). The system is designed to flow between the two states - in a threat situation, our brain floods the body with stress chemicals - adrenaline, cortisol - to prep us to get out of physical danger (it can be mental or emotional too), the idea is to give us the best chance of getting out of the way or attacking if we need to. Priority is put to the muscles and systems like digestion turn off temporarily, our vision narrows and our breathing changes. Its faster than we can think too becausr its coming from the limbic brain - the seat pf emotion, not the thinking brain, or cortex (the wrinkly bit at the front behind the forehead).
With too much stress, anxiety or trauma, we can get 'stuck' in the stress response. This makes us on high alert, jumpy, always expecting something bad is about to happen. None of this we choose, we are wired this way.
The good news is you can rewire yourself back to the parasympathetic or calm (also known as 'rest and digest' over time with practice. Mindfulness exercises, deep belly breathing, slowing down are all ways to achieve this. The power of a deep breath is underrated - when you feel stressed, breathe deep by pushing your belly out (we breath from the top of the chest and rapidly when stressed). Imagine you are inflating a balloon centred in the stomach. Listen to your breath...sounds a bit like gentle waves on the ocean when you slooooooooow dooooowwwwn and breathe deep, doesn't it? That's it. 5-10 of these can really help. Notice your immediate surroundings and be present. What do you see, hear, feel, smell and taste right now, right here? Keep breathing (try to breathe out through your mouth about twice the length of the inhale and inhale through the nose).
Once you feel calmer, you can think straight and take some action. Hope this helps.☺️
