Never being in a relationship

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I respectively disagree with the first statement. I dont have the energy to fully articulate why I disagree with it but I know it's fast becoming a 'hated' statement amongst people who are perpetually single. Hand on heart, thats not my issue whatsoever. That wasn't what I meant either with my original statement. I have a pragmatic language issue for one, I think women hear me speak sometimes and think I am a little weird and then run away from me.

I keep going because I hope it will happen but I am also trying to work at it to make it a reality. I dont like my efforts being dismissed due to how far back I have had to come. Again, I dont have the energy to articulate why, I just know my gaps but there isn't a service that can help support me.

I am zapped, work is the only thing that distracts me but it also makes it hard because there are reminders everywhere. I am the only person in the entire English faculty who is single and it shows on some days. Its hard to get up and its hard to function 

[TheRenegade345]

Okay I am absolutely done. I cannot understand or work out how to socialise with anyone anymore.

I have had enough. What am I doing wrong? I genuinely do not understand how I cannot make any headway with anyone.

I met someone on a neurodivergent app and we went out today and had a great time. We talked for hours and had a lot of conversations about all kinds of things and laughed about a lot of things. It seemed to go well.

Then, after we parted ways, she sent me a message later asking if I had a good time. I stated that I did and why I thought I did and repeated the question back. She said that "it was okay but she didn't see anything going further".

Even in the neurodivergent community I am a loser. Even in the neurodivergent community I am misunderstood. I cannot escape it. I hate my life so much. I hate this planet so much. I cant live anymore. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY DO I GET SO EASILY REJECTED?

[TheRenegade345]

I hate being weird, I hate being neurodivergent, I hate having a mental illness. 

I wish I was neurotypical so I could make friends easily and not be so exhausted or overwhelmed all the time. My life sucks and it is absolutely atrocious. No matter what community I am in, I will be rejected because I am the ugliest human that has ever lived.

[Jynx]

I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened @TheRenegade345 I can only imagine how defeated you might be feeling right now. Yeah wish I was NT too sometimes, maybe then I wouldn't be swimming in so much shame, hey. 

Unfortunately I can't stay long to chat, but I just want you to know I hear you, and I offer some hugs and comfort, for whatever they're worth 💜

[TheRenegade345]

@Jynx 

I deserve to be forgotten. I deserve to be abandoned and lost to the sands of time. 

I feel nothing.

I am nothing.

[RiverSeal]

Hey @TheRenegade345, sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. It sounds like a tough spot to be in at the moment. What do you think you can do to get through these feelings today? I encourage you to stay connected on the Forums and reach out to crisis support if you need a little extra support today. RiverSeal 

[TheRenegade345]

@RiverSeal 

there is nothing that can done yesterday destroyed me I hate myself so much