Moving forward

[eth]

Hi @Former-Member  you don't know me but there's a few of us over on the Beer Garden thread if you want to join us for a virtual nightcap and some company.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wow @Former-Member .... haven't seen you in a while .... and I can't find what e.r.d. represents .... but welcome back 🤗💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good morning @Former-Member .... 🤗💕

These are the two 8 have used the most -

I could seek counselling about how to deal with it.

I could withdraw from the people who were hurting me and put up barriers to limit their influence in my life.

Before he became this unwell, this one worked a lot of the time too .....  

I could talk it out with my hubby and expect him to be reasonable and supportive.

...... but I had to be selective and careful with it. Even thought his family were behaving badly, and he is now in the same sorts of ways, he / they have no understanding of how and why it is wrong, and the sort of damage it does to relationships.  They just think that the results they achieve justify the methods they use to achieve it.

That is the work now of the pdoc, and I have to come to terms with the ocpd diagnosis my WH has received.  What is that going to mean for us long-term, after the e.d. has been diagnosed and he is treated for that.  At the moment he has been given the diagnosis, but I am not aware of him being referred to a pdoc for himself, or to counselling with a psychologist or anything .... and I am worried about that.  I think he won't know what to do with it, and although he is trying very hard to curb his controlling behaviours, in part he is not really understanding the different forms of them.

Guess that's still ahead of us, and in part why we have been referred to family counselling.

Just taking this one step at a time.

Are you seeing a counsellor to help you make sense of e.r.d. (which I found btw) and provide you with some management strategies ?

if there is something you would like to chat about, I am here for you, if you think it would be helpful ....

💜💐💕🤗

[Former-Member]

Wow @Faith-and-Hope I'm amazed hooray in one measure for you and hubby to finally obtain diagnosis. Gosh family therapy sounds scary. I hope you get someone helpful as wrong help could be more taxing on you both right now.
I can't help but think it must be hard to really know how hubby feels about his diagnosis?
I really hope he starts to trust in you. Your his best alliance in help. But it's a process and one that's way to much for you to manage alone.
Gosh wow yes, I'm so happy for you.
What a relief but yet sad time. I hope you are doing ok too? ❤️

Ah my previous post I may have typed wrong. I really wondered what the hell this woman meant when she said this and that my personality type may be more prone to vulnerabilities.
I was so over it all and was going to ignore the whole stupid diagnosis but it got to me and I started to read more.
It appears many terms are used for borderline personality.
I think being away from forum was part to help myself but I may have been running on fright trains.
My present goal with psych is to find time out for myself. I'm trying.
It really sounds like the stupidest goal. But it is what she wants me to work on.
I had to resort to sleeping aid. I burnt myself out.
i think they just calm my mind. I can still wake in the early hours with them and stay awake.
Well I must go,but it's lovely to hear from you. I've thought of many here on and off a lot. 🙂

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am glad you are getting your head around a few things @Former-Member, and slowly coming to terms with things ... it's empowering to be able to say, "okay, that's what I'm dealing with, now show me how .... !"

You can start developing the skills to manage better.

Its only a part diagnosis over here .... the pdoc has identified the "driver" without realising yet that it's driving an eating disorder, not just micro-management and chaos in the home .... and he has instilled a manic daily regimen that took over our family life 8 years ago now.

I am sure we will get to the rest of it by degrees now, but te support systems have to go in around us too.  I'm trying not to think too far ahead and just take each day as it comes.  Today was another calm one .... thankful for small mercies ....

💜

[Former-Member]

Hiya @Former-Member.
Sorry I wasn't around. I was having time off the forum and kind of still am but I really wanted to say hi.
And welcome to the world of BPD traits. Please don't be scared by any of it. its just a label not you at all. You are still the amazing fadin, busy and run off your feet you always were/are.
I'm still in the background if you want to ask anything. I hope this finds you feeling ok. It's great to see you back. 💜🤗💐

[eth]

Hi @Former-Member  miss you my friend but understand you taking a break.  Hope you are doing ok.  Think of you often.

[Former-Member]

Hi @eth 

you were on my radar to say hi to as well. I'm sorry my timing was off with you coming back on. I've still been reading some posts but was struggling to respond and getting myself tied up in knots which is why I was taking a back seat.

It's been so lovely having you back and around the forum again. How has your day been? 

[eth]

My day is better now @Former-Member Hearing from you put a smile on my face.  Had a nice walk this morn with my bro then an extra heavy session with my psychologist this afternoon.   How about your day?

[Former-Member]

I went to DBT group this morning @eth, then fell in a hole and flipped out for a bit and now am just finding myself again. I had some support before to go through some things which helped. Now I'm keeping warm in bed. 

Is it cold where you are? It been beautiful during the days here but cold nights.