Hello @Daisydreamer, @cloudcore, @Historylover, @greenpea, @Millieme, @MDT
and others visiting this thread
{~850 words}
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I understand what I believe you are saying @Historylover , with regard to each of us developing skills and strategies, in the process of working through our MH issues and our living mystery. These processes often provide us with a sense of development in knowledge and awareness of our individual positions, through which we progress, followed by a recognisable sense of achievement, at various stages. Yesterday, I used a sentence in another post, in the thread "The magic of tidying", that I believe resonates with your observations @Historylover ,
“The problem needs to be addressed before a solution can be realised (or formulated). And the problem isn't always what appears to be most obvious.”
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Just a few minutes ago, I had reason to recall a discussion that I had with a counsellor that occurred nearly 35 years ago. The counsellor had asked me how I felt about a particular issue, to which I responded, “I think that …....”. When I had finished saying what I had thought, the counsellor responded, saying, “I was really wanting to know how you felt about …..., but you just told me what you thought. Can you tell me how you felt?” I was, at that stage, quite confused because I had not been accustomed to making the distinction between thoughts and feelings. In fact, while I obviously had experienced feelings, I was, at the time, not able to articulate in words, what my feelings were. Some would say that I was not in touch, or connected with my feelings. Since then, it has become apparent to me, that my inability to experience and express feelings has had a considerably negative impact on my relationships and associations with other people, before that time and to a lesser degree since. As others have recently suggested, I still, sometimes, intellectualise my experience of feelings.
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There were very few words used during my childhood to describe feelings. Hurt would have been used to describe physical pain, but there were few others. When words are not used to describe something, particularly something as nebulous as feelings, it is very difficult to use words to convey what it is that we may be feeling. Awareness of the experience of feelings, consequently, had been extremely restricted, confined and limited.
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The reason that I tell that story is because it is just one of the effects of abuse and subsequently felt and experienced trauma, and its various forms of expression and affect, that subsequently carried over into my adult life. Those events and experiences had significant repercussions in my relationships, so they also had adverse effects on other people. I Had difficulty connecting with others in ways that involved feelings. With respect to the title of this thread, "Mental Health Month #ShareYourOneThing 💙 Share the simple things that help your wellbeing", one of the things that I now do to connect with my own feelings and develop other areas of self awareness and awareness of others, is to engage with other people on this forum site.
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The experience of mental health, both positive and negative, as I understand it, is peculiar and specific to each individual. While there may be recognised ways and processes, by which we categorise the experience of, and ways of addressing MH issues, they generally have to be, in some way, tailored to address each person's specific needs, personal experience and outward affects.
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As a result, exercises such as the “Mental Health Month #ShareYourOneThing ….” thread allow each person to state their particular ways of dealing with, coping and developing within their own experience. Consistent with what, I understand, are the objectives of this forum, by sharing these ideas, some of those ways of dealing with and addressing issues and even use of time, may resonate more closely with one person than another. However, the presented ideas also give us the opportunity to look at our own experience, possibly from other perspectives and sometimes, when an idea resonates closely enough, we can adopt that idea or perspective and apply it to and within our own life matrix.
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These ways of viewing and addressing our own issues, among the many other resources to which we are, or have been exposed, contribute to the basis, or foundation for progress in that dynamic, lived mystery, to which you referred in the quote that you offered,
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived”
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What I inferred , from your post, @Historylover , was that there are many different ways of addressing MH issues, including a huge range of approaches, theories and resources available. Consequently, bringing to mind our actions, experiences and feelings, and then articulating in writing is just one of those avenues through which we can develop. Sharing details of our own experiences and methods with others, is among the ways that we might use for our own coping and development, and which may also assist and enable others in their lived mystery.
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With My Best Wishes
@HenryX
