Managing Bipolar 1

[greenpea]

Hi Dadcaringalone @Dadcaringalone  my father was an alcoholic and died back in 2001 due to his drinking. It caused me so much pain and damage during my life to see him go that way it was a relief in truth when he died. It is only now that I can truly say that I loved my dad and  hated his disease.. 

On a brighter note I hope you have a beautiful, sunny Monday with your son. My son is still asleep as I am writing this 🙂 . Will just let him sleep.  Will have a daggy day at home in pjs 😛

Take care

greenpea xx

[eth]

Hi @greenpea and @Dadcaringalone  sending warm wishes to both of you for a peaceful day.  Hope you get some of this wonderful sunshine we're having today.  

I also have family members that trigger me to the extent I have had to withdraw completely from them to protect my mental health.  I understand.

[Dadcaringalone]

@eth@greenpea

My son’s manic at present and I got some pretty unbelievably abusive messages when I asked him to help me out with cleaning and I drove him to the train station this morning because he slept in and I told him he couldn’t drive the car because he is dangerous at the moment. Not really sure what to do but I’m sure his manic swing will be followed by a downward depression swing as usual. Not sure he will come home tonight and I’m completely drained from all the emotional drama. Do you both have any ideas? I will just have to clean up as usual because I’m currently having difficulty breathing in the apartment because it’s so dirty, it’s a worry when your own health starts to suffer from your son’s mental health illness. I’m not getting support from anyone else and my wife is actually making it worse because she blames me for everything. Not sure how long I can manage this mania as he’s completely oblivious to where he currently is in his bipolar swing and unable to empathize for anyone caring for him. Love to both of you from a dad trying his best to care for his son alone.

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Oh I am so sorry to hear this Dadcaringalone. I thought he was doing well atm ....  has he got a private pdoc? I found (personally speaking) things changed dramatically for the better meds wise (everything wise) when both myself and my son had private pdocs, psychs and mh nurse..... and didn't rely on the public system. Emotional drama is hell on Earth (I know the feeling).

You need a team looking after him. Pdoc and a psych and a mh nurse plus NDIS. There is no way you can do this alone ... pdoc first.  Please keep me in the loop. greenpea

[Dadcaringalone]

Thanks @greenpea

just spoke to the hospital and they think he might need to be sectioned. Not really looking forward to the emotional roller coaster to come, but not sure what else I could do as I’m handling all this alone. He’s roaming the streets and not telling me where he is and the hospital said from what I described it sounds like a relapse. Thanks for your support 

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone wish I could be more support. I wish I could get on the phone and say 'It will be okay. Don't forget you are a great dad' and sit with you through this make you a cup of tea, coffee whatever you would like and just sit there with you until your son came home to go back to hospital again.  It is not fair Dadcaringalone ....

[Dadcaringalone]

Thanks @greenpea, you are a real darling! Just got some take away dinner and feel a little better now. I will make a cuppa 🍵 now and it will feel like we are having a chat together with tea. Just waiting to hear from my son or the Acute Team nurse about whether he’s coming home tonight or wheather I need to go and pick him up wherever and whenever he’s ready. I know I’m doing my very best but the swings are really emotionally draining. He’s been really manipulative and the more my wife intervenes the worse everything gets. It’s a complete mess and he’s unable to see the huge suffering he has created because of his volatile mood disorder. I am at my absolute limits and I can’t keep going on like this any longer. Its as though its his moods which are now regulating all his relationships.

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone I know when I was manic I was totally out of control .... the pain it caused close family members was awful .... even my son remembers mum being sick that says something. Do you have any idea where he is? What will you do if he refuses to go ... does that mean the police?  I really hope he goes in voluntarlly and that you might be able to get a much needed break.

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone I am off to bed. Good luck with tonight I hope your son turns up and is calm and will go with you to hospital even though we both know he will not be happy about it at least if he realizes it is the best thing for him. greenpea

[eth]

Hello @Dadcaringalone sorry I didn't reply sooner - my new grandchild was born yesterday plus I had psychologist and physiotherapist with a support worker most of the day.  

I feel for you deeply with what you are going through.  @greenpea has actually said almost exactly what I would say.  If your son has lost his 'insight' into what is happening with his mania then he probably does need a stay in hospital to bring him back down a bit and adjust his meds to keep him more stable.  And if he won't go with you to be assessed at the hospital then you probably will need to get the police to take him.  Sorry that sounds harsh but I've been through that more than a few times and retrospectively can see that it was necessary at the time.  Most hospitals with mental health inpatient facilities have a Crisis and Triage phone line (CAT) which you could get by ringing the hospital.  Then when you ring them they will tell you exactly what your options are.  You need support with this.

Sorry to hear your wife is making things harder for you.  Are you still together? (if you don't mind me asking)  If not, and if you have custody of him, you can also ask the police for advice on how to get her to back off so you can do what your son needs.

Sending you as much support as I can, sitting with you and @greenpea and we will be here for you to talk to as you go through this.

Eth