Living with Ourselves

[Sophia1]

@Clawde 

 will write when I can

we understand each other also when not able to be here

love Sophia1

[Sophia1]

@Jacques  

Will write when I can

letting you know that you are in my thoughts

warmest wishes

will respond to hap pay new year

take care

remember how much you have achieved and how far you have come

[Sophia1]

@Bow  

Please do not disappear 

You are a valuable member of the forums

I feel triggered too

Stay away from what triggers you

Hopefully will be investigated when all staff back on board

Stay close

 to your friends

I am struggling with other stuff so cannot stay

take care

Sophia1

[Emelia8]

@Sophia1 Thanks for your message.  ♥  Sorry to hear of current crises with older son.  Hope that resolves soon.  Understand why you are unable to be here much right now.  Please take care. Talk again when you're able to.  Sending love and care in the meantime. 

Emelia 🌷

[maddison]

Hello @tonys you didn't go away did you?

You said I could write to you. I'm writing. I hope I get a reply. If not, hope you are well & looking after my babies. I kinda think you have to let me visit one day now. Maddison with 2 different colour eyes.. It's a sign - she wants to meet her namesake.

As for the men...... ?   Yes, please tell me more. What do the men do & want? If it is the women weaving...

And why do you say that it's probably better you didn't have a family? More people to hurt you & let you down? The animals don't do that, do they. I am only guessing your reasons. I have wondered myself if a true loving family exists. I think it does? 

I realised today - I own at least 3 long black dresses. I was remembering it as Navy blue. I got in the car & surprised myself that it was yet another black dress. I thought of you.

I'm fluttery & hyped at the moment. Need to focus. Oh ..I know what it is. I was up early this morning - so my day is too long. I have 2 or 3 hours extra.

I eat, I'm not hungry anymore. I think I lost weight. My dress was way roomier. Might weigh myself. Probably not. Maybe.

I think that's most of everything my brain is saying.

Now what do I do?

Oh..I have tea.

I'm running to give you a hug❤️

May you have peace my friend.

[tonys]

hey there @maddison   midnight again.... that time when its neither yesterday,   nor tomorrow ,  wish i could just park here a little while longer and enjoy the view and listen to the sounds of the dark.        How was your day     

 mate.     Did your shop for a million pictures till you found one that would sill my waters..

Well you found it my friend.   The river is a flawless mirror tonight.     I dont have to look up to see the stars.  like fire flies sleeping   on an alabaster lake.

Tell me what else you did today mate.   I just let the tractor lull me to sleep .   Its known me long enough.    It knows where to sew the seeds,  and to find its way home.

You never said much about    "waiting"     Hope you wont let it get lonely.  I hope it filled you.

Ive posted a lookout on a distant hill,   waiting for you to unfold a little more mind and float it 

to me.

sleep peacefully my friend..........    and dream.        tonys  moon base one   

[maddison]

Waiting made me feel bad about myself @tonys I didn't like that mentioned a prostitute & other things. I didn't know if you were making fun of me. It made the women sound like victims. I thought it was really rough & cutting. The ending was positive but I don't know why so much bad was before it. And the ending didn't sound legit. It sounded like another joke. It made me angry & sad.

And why don't you answer my questions?

You sit on top of your hill, with your magnificent view of the stars & me down here.

Other times, you lift me up & help me & say you are there for me. I feel like you are up high & I am down low.

Why don't you tell me about the poem I wrote about being Mesmerised - you never talked about that?

[tonys]

@maddison  Hello again my friend.    I always seem to find another post from you just after ive sealed the envelope... 

What do men want you ask ..   Mate , ..  apart from more power !!!   i  really wish i knew 

I used to go to the pub when i was young.    The men eyes glued to the footy,   my eyes,    just watching the men.    Every time a fight broke out,   they would be out of their chairs primeval, growls,  hyper  exited,   male bonding ,.. tribal ,.....nothings changed.  Its just the coliseum, ........  franchised.     As the alcohol takes effect ,  the group dynamics evolve ,   week antelope ,prayed upon.      A pecking order established. 

Me ,  liked to thumb coins into the juke box and ask myself,   surely  this cant be all there  is

Lucky i was just a window pane,   and a big one at that.   What does that make me.    Different  ................    autistic 

And then there are the endless ques of admirers  drawn to these     "bad boys"  ,   carrying their suit cases and bruised faces from one to the next.    what do men want ......  when you find out ....  tell me.. ...   Now i do know ,  not all men are like this,    but there seems to be such an over supply of alpha males ,     well ,   buy now your sorry you asked ,  and ive said way to much..  

Fluttery and hyped you say,   I  like it when you are like that,     A neatly raked pile of leaf's scattered by a dust devil,      Chaos reveals more art than order,  welcome it,   reap from it

As for your questions about love.   they deserve another letter on there own and a better glass of wine than tonight's.    Thankyou for running to me and giving me that hug ,  I iove your letters...

 long black dress twirls in a spin .....  endlessly searching for what lies within.

tonys   moon base one    

Content/trigger warning

I really 

[tonys]

@maddison I'm sorry that was your interpretation of it.  My life, has been' rough and cutting'.

Each person in that poem was some one,  or like real people I new ,      especially the street worker, ....  I'm the one that found her. !

You asked me about my locks and what's under them so I unlocked one to you.

I cried writing it......   No mate,.....  i dont joke about things like that.... 

 I guess  my locks,  are best left alone. 

Mesmerized...    I'm sorry if my letter on that didnt find you..... 

I am a bit taken aback ,....  mesmerized..     best i go ,  and i wish you peace   Tonys  mb1