Living with Ourselves

[Sophia1]

What a lovely gift to receive when I signed on.

Dear friend @Appleblossom 

I did eventually get out.

Had to food shop in order to cook dinner for son.

Shop experience I hate always.

Cooking for son the memories came floating back.

I have not visited him on my own since probably christmas due to accident january and follow on.

Once at his home adjustment again of accepting his ways; his home; his manhood; his new life.

Slowly in his time he came around to my values and we actually ate the meal I had cooked, together at his dining room table. We had conversation as well. He thanked me for the meal and told me that he loved it.

Television on in the background one of my pet hates however his home, his values. I need to respect him also. I cannot have it all my way. I have to accept his values also.

We met somewhere in the middle which is what relationships of any kind are about.

Big hugs

Love shared

A lovely mother son time.

Am sad about loss of time with other son; twin had another tantrum a while back and of course not allowed to visit or ring mum

Will be nearly 5 years since I have seen her.

Birthday coming up and absence of loved ones is so glaringly apparent.

I know that I have come to terms with each experience however does not stop the feelings bubbling to the surface.

Twin stuff happening within.

Along with strong bond stuff with older absent son.

Am going away with husband and cat to an isolated place of my choice.

Have agreed to go out for lunch on the day and son will meet us there.

Depression is overpowering at the moment.

Breathe.

I need to find a hill to climb where there are trees; birds and views of water.

Lots of ohms

No mosquitoes again.

No covid or other of the current viruses invading our lives.

I might light a fire and send smoke signals.

Love you too Appleblossum we are warriors and survivors who carry the battle scars without shame now.

We have come far haven't we even though we are weary.

Will write to you again when can.

Sorry about length and do hope that my words do not hurt you.

Love

Sophia

I will be isolating away from isolating at home.

Hope to catch up on walking; reading and writing as well a feeling mesmerised by the sea.

💛💚💜

[Sophia1]

@TAB 

You achieved much yesterday.

Well done.

I did not get long walk in only walking around shoppping and doing things.

Did get depressed though at same time as enjoying some special moments with younger son.

Depression is just such a pesky...................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophia

💛 sunshine

[TAB]

Thanks @Sophia1  was a new one on me getting depressed while out. Guess not been to those shops in years , parking and traffic silly, nothing in shops., couldn't find way around, raining etc lol . 
no reason to go back there in a hurry. Easier to drive 20ks down road to bigger mall, lots easier to find way around plus more there

[Sophia1]

hello @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Clawde @Emelia8 @TAB @Appleblossom @BlueBay @Jacques (has been a while..miss our chats)

@Adge(even longer since I have connected with you. Do hope that you are managing.)

@outlander( a long time talking with you.. hope that you are managing and being kind to yourself also) @Snowie @Eve7 @HenryX @RedHorse @MDT @Meowmy @Bow @StuF @Dimity @Anastasia 

so many others

cannot think

depression is rearing it's insidious power and I feel that my withholding is weakening.

I will be back.

Going away for a week isolating elsewhere, isolating somewhere different from isolating at home has to be a start doesn't it?

I will get through this as I have observed so many of you who are so, so strong.

Thank you for being in my life at varying stages; in different ways; albeit just hitting a support button.

Means so much

[TAB]

See you again @Sophia1 

[RedHorse]

It is always a pleasure to hear from you @Sophia1 

I'm sorry that you are feeling distressed at the moment and hope your get away brings you some peace.

Thinking of you and sending love and light.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

[Shaz51]

See you soon my awesome sister @Sophia1 xxxx

[Zoe7]

I hope you have moments of joy in you isolation elsewhere week @Sophia1 💕

[MDT]

Agreed. It's a start aye @Sophia1

Do that. Soak it up.

All the best my friend

[Appleblossom]

Ooooh @Sophia1 your posts are not too long.  They are beautiful, warm, spirit filled.  I love your rich quirky imagination.

We have those down times, those dark nights of the soul, and wearily, yes, keep placing one foot in front of the other.

and the tides ebb and flow

It was lovely to hear about your meal with your son.  Glad he appreciated it.  My son appreciates my cooking.  Yes, we adapt to their preferences a little, I am not keen on television always on.  In my house it is NEVER on ..lol. It is their separateness that is truly wonderful.  They come from us and grow into unique beings.  My son has taught me things and I have changed a little, become a more broad thinker, because of him.

Hearing you about the lost one.  My lost one is always in my heart, but we can walk with dignity.

Enjoy your quiet time away.  Not sure what birds will visit, but birds have made my life richer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQr5qcnOOVs 

Love Apple