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Re: Living with Ourselves

Oh dear @Sophia1 Hate it when that happens but just seeing you here is response enough 💖

 

I am on holidays now and intend to get some of Cat's corner done. It has been 1 year since I lost her and I cannot believe how quickly that time has gone ...it really does still feel like just yesterday she was here with me giving squishy, purring cuddles 😥😺

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hello dearest @Emelia8 

 

Again, thank you for responding when you are dealing with so much as well as feeling drained understandably.

 

EMDR is a therapy that I am aware of. I was referred to a clinical psychologist who attempted to ask me to respond to something written on a board in her office. The referral was for PTSD which at the time, I thought only applied to other people who had incurred far more traumatic experiences.

The psychologist made the decision to take a different approach with me, as a result of my reaction. To this day I cannot remember what that was as well as her deciding it was better not to think any more on the subject. Perhaps she was not as thoroughly trained in the subject as your therapist.

 

I continued to see her for about 18 months having CBT; which ran it's course so to speak with me. I started to recognise that I was beginning to go backwards and finding our sessions more like conversations.

 

I was then referred back to a psychiatrist whom I had previously seen and only stopped due to distance that I had to travel. I did not feel that it was safe for me to drive that far in that state of mind.

I am still with the same person who now does psychotherapy as well.

This style of therapy works very well with me and I have been having several sessions a week for many years now.

It is mostly intense and extremely hard work; particularly in between the sessions when feelings and emotions can arise as a result of the type of therapy.

 

I understand your feeling drained and feeling like you have nothing left to give. This makes me feel that you are giving everything that you are able to at this present stage of your recovery as well as therapy, to yourself working towards your recovery. Not for the lighthearted.

 

Whilst the two therapies are totally  different they appear to have the same intense effect which makes sense to me.

 

Please do not feel that you have to give anything to me @Emelia8 . You describe my life journey incurring so much. I see yours as having some similarities and other different challenges. Definitely far too great a load for anyone to have to endure.

Life does not make sense in this way.

 

I have come to believe that life will never make sense if we only focus on our challenges. This is of course a place one can find oneself in when having to continually deal with more and more ongoing. A stage where the resounding sense of "when is this ever going to stop" might become a constant thought. You are all too familiar with this scenario.

 

I am, however, pleased to hear that you are continuing with this therapy as you yourself are also another example of great strength and perseverance despite what life throws at you.

 

In particular for yourself, at times when you are attempting to overcome physical pain and take on the world of rehabilitation which can bring a whole new range of challenges.

 

Throw in all of the medical appointments that take so much effort to get ready for; fit in; get to; return home and try to absorb let alone remember everything that is said. Then there is everything that is not said and all of the effort to try to remember what to ask; take one of the many lists made in advance; be given time enough to read our own writing; make sense of what we have scrawled (apologies you  might not scrawl..my  writing can appear like another language on occasion).

 

Supports are another conundrum and a whole new world of more issues. I will not even go down that track today.

 

I use assisted transport when I can to give my husband some time off as he does far too much. He also has his own health issues and medical appointments.

This is a common scenario.

The world of caring brings with it further exacerbation of one's health as you know only too well.

 

So we do have some commonalities (no we are not common)

 

I read somewhere that you were in a mental health clinic at some stage.

 

I too ended up in a clinic with my overloaded mind and some awareness that my husband was not coping. I took the opportunity to take a break from everything and everyone as well as give my husband a break from me. He wanted me home even though I know if I was at home he would have wished I was back in hospital for daycare laugh.

 

Hospital helped slightly for perhaps a week. I would say it put out the fire. The ashes were still there and not cleaned up though. Eventually I recognised that I was going backwards; spending most of my time in room; having been advised to maintain low stimulation. Impossible in any medical facility. Told specialist going home; he was happy and my goodness when I got home I felt euphoric.

 

I think that your situation was far more intense than mine and a good place for you to be whether or not you wanted to be there. You will let me know the answer to that one if you want to.

 

I remember you mentioning your neighbours way back and am hoping that you have some interraction with them.

I cannot remember your family situation with relatives.

 

Thanks to @HenryX tagging me in the keeping happy thread, I found you there. How refreshing to see you escape into a world where you could let go. That brought joy to my heart. I also read and witnessed dear Clawde in a whole new light. I read back many pages and laughed so much.

 

I was then very sad because I saw that I had been tagged several times in the early stages and this was a time where I was just not well enough to be aware.

 

I will subscribe to that thread for a while until I start to receive too many emails. Hopefully I will remember where it is by then.

 

It is the same with your thread Emelia. When you tag me, I find you.

The same for so many people.

 

I; like you can only do what my current health situation allows and am practising very hard not to be so hard on myself.

 

Well I have written far too much again.

I do hope that this one does not disappear.

They might all join up and become like a paper chain letter.

 

Lovely to see that you have your humour; such a beautiful part of who you are.

You have strength and perseverence.

You have the courage to cry and the sense to take time out.

You offer support and sound advice.

You never stop giving.

 

 

Keep on being you my dear Emelia and I hope that I can continue to hear from you; only when you are up to it.

No rush. No pressure.

 

I am still unable to be on here too often anyway.

 

Hope that you felt the soothing greenery that I sent previously.

A warm yellow heart as it is freezing cold here; is hopefully coming your way.

 

love Sophia 💛

 

Re: Living with Ourselves

Oh so so sorry for the length of my response @Emelia8 

 

There was so much I wanted to say to you as well as let you know why I do not write as much as I would like to.

 

Feel free to not read it all.

No need to respond either or if you want to a support will let me know when you can

💜

Re: Living with Ourselves

dear @Clawde 

I will search for you in keeping happy when I can.

What a joy to read.

I adore your sense of humour

 

Sophia your friend

💛

Re: Living with Ourselves

dear @Zoe7 

 

I am on holidays now and intend to get some of Cat's corner done. It has been 1 year since I lost her and I cannot believe how quickly that time has gone ...it really does still feel like just yesterday she was here with me giving squishy, purring cuddles

Sophia1_0-1657524881073.png

 

Sophia1_1-1657524881073.png

 

Tears of perspiration; frustration on your face.

Happy smiles for cat.

I hope that I have interpretated that as intended.

 

My goodness one whole year ago.

Appropriate that you have spread the time out to work on Cat's Corner.

Cat will be purring loudly showing approval.

 

I have weeded my late pet's garden area myself; made an attempt to put some plants in. Now unable to garden properly with current rehabilitation.

 

Had a gardener attend a few times which quite frankly; I was glad when he had finished.

He moaned about previous jobs; hard work and long days.

Vibes were negative and not wanted.

 

His efforts improved only when another person came with him and did most of the work as well as wear a welcome smile on his face. I gave the helper some cuttings. You would think that he had won the lottery with the happy grin and thank you.

 

I will be interested to read along with your progress as I seem to remember you have some architectural designs in plan.

 

Remember to make sure that you do have some rest time also. I know that you are a Bunnings girl.

 

As I say to everyone; I will reply when I can.

As I know is the case for you.

 

Enjoy this time with this project. No doubt you will have Toby and new fur baby helping or being close by.

 

your friend Sophia

💛

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 

Thank you I was deeply touched by your post.

It is always really lovely to hear from you.  You have a fine quality and a way of writing and being very personal to everyone.

I am stuck for words atm, but I want to let you know that I have really valued your contact and you are someone I will always remember as a friend from Sane.  We can relate as mums who love our boys and woman just struggling to be.

Yesterday I had a really great social and fun day.  The day before that not so good.  Those ups & downs ... Today was in the middle.

Love Apple

Re: Living with Ourselves

I have no doubt once I start there will be both tears and some joy at remembering my baby girl @Sophia1 I do not know when I will start as we are expecting rain for the next few days. I wanted to start yesterday but have unfortunately been suffering some severe stomach pain from yesterday afternoon and all through the night (a little better this morning but still present) - and after a headache in the morning 😔 I am taking it really easy for the time being - not pushing to get anything done - it can all wait 👍

 

The plan for Cat's corner is to put up some decorative screens (already purchased), build a mosaic paw out of pebbles over the top of where she is buried and lay the sleeping cat ornament on some rocks with her name painted on them. I also have a plant I have been keeping alive to plant next to the paw mosaic and want to replace a tired looking rose bush with another plant - not sure what yet but something that grows about 2 metres and fills the space a bit more. Cat loved getting into that corner to hide, sleep or just sit so I want to make it a bit more shaded for her.

 

I was disappointed for you hearing of the first gardener you had helping in your special garden. It is so annoying hiring someone that just doesn't seem to care or has such a bad attitude. Grateful though that the second person that came to help was more positive - a smile and a hello can mean so much, especially when we are struggling ourselves.

 

I always love hearing from you my friend - no matter when or how much you can be here. You are always thought of even if I am myself am absent. We have shared a lot over a long time and I am so thankful for your support and kindness over all that time. Please look after yourself Hon. I wish you nothing but goodluck with your rehab and hope that time will help you heal (as much as you are able to). Love and hugs my friend 💖💖💖

Re: Living with Ourselves

Thank you all @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Clawde @BlueBay and everyone else hopefully remembered everyone.

I am worn out.

Goodnight all

💜

Re: Living with Ourselves

I hope you slept well @Sophia1 Hugs and hugs and hugs my friend 💕

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hello and hugs my @Sophia1 ❤❤

Hello @Zoe7 , @Appleblossom , @Clawde , @Emelia8