Let's do Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

[Former-Member]

@Phoenix_Rising

I am afraid I feel there is too much philosophical stuff in relation to the existence of good and bad well beyond my level of understanding, suffice to say I believe good and bad do exist.

That being said, I have put my attention to the practical task of not using the words of good and bad in conversation and have done so relatively successfully in written form (e-mail, text, forum posts) but not in speech. However in doing so I am still evaluating. A recipe I tried was delicious, I appreciated advice given as it was helpful etc.

Whilst I think praise is a reward, encouraging someone genuinely motivates people to better things or to continue with something you may see as worthwhile. To be able to encourage requires evaluation to some extent to be able to give appropriate feedback. I don't have a problem with evaluating - if I try a new recipe I want Mr D to tell me if he did or did not enjoy it, knowing this will help me decide if it is worth making the dish again or not; I do not want to make things he, we or I do not enjoy eating.

Describing a trait I don't like in myself:
I know I can come across as sounding confrontational if I am worried or do not understand something. I do not realise that my tone has changed. I do not like that this happens. I do not know how to change this.

Darcy

[Shaz51]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising interesting read

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Former-Member,

I super appreciated reading your thoughts on this. I don't have time to respond properly right now, but I wanted you to know how much I appreciated it. I find this stuff really interesting and I'm hoping to toss it around more here soon. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I see “right” and “wrong” as existing within a faith system and being subject to that in terms of values and goals.  

Without the framework, there is no point of reference, and no delineation*

(I find looking up definitions useful cos the dictionary says it better than I can) 

*delineation noun abstract, account, act of setting forth, the act of tracing, adumbratio, blueprint, chart, configuration, contour, débauche, depiction, depiction of essential features, descriptio, description, diagram, enumeration of the essential qualities, form, framework, graph, line drawn round, map, outline, pattern, plan, plot, portrayal, profile, recital, relation, rendition, report, representation, representaaion by words, rough draft, shape, silhouette, skeleton plan, sketch, specification, statements that describe, structure, tracing, verbal portraiture, word picture

[outlander]

@Holly24heres thr DBT thread i was talking about

[Holly24]

@outlander

Thank you, really appreciative of your thoughtfulness.

Navigating my way around the forum, so much to read, so blessed reading the posts.

Last week was the Introductory, so this week is the actual First Week of DBT.  Meeting people there helped me breathe hope again, had to hold myself back from wanting to give hugs for their honesty and courageous stories.

[outlander]

your most welcome @Holly24

[Holly24]

@Former-Member

Hi Darcy,

Lovely to meet you, enjoy your day ahead.

[outlander]

hey all, i brought this book. its actually pretty good. its not very detailed in describing each module but gives a quick briefing in simple terms and explains the worksheets really well. 

i got mine off ebay if anyone is interested in purchasing one 

[outlander]

hi @Phoenix_Rising@CheerBear and everyone on this thread...

i am curious about something that maybe you guys could help with?

what is the difference between distractions and self-soothing? 

i feel its the question of do you distract to self-soothe, or do you self-soothe to distract?