Let's do Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

[Former-Member]

Afternoon @Phoenix_Rising

Yes I did get my children to try! Mr 10 gave up after 10 mins but Miss 12 kept going and got her egg to balance 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sorry ..... mis-tagged you @Lt72884 above .....

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good afternoon DBT-ers,

So...I still haven't started the next installment of the DBT adventure, but I am moving into the headspace to be able to do it, so I'm thinking it will appear next week sometime. 

Welcome to Forum Land, and to our DBT adventure @Lt72884  You are extremely welcome to join the adventure - no fees at all. As you may have read on the first post of this thread, our adventure consists of plodding through the DBT skills training manual. We are not moving particularly fast, mostly because @CheerBear and I, who started the adventure, keep running into muddles that derail us here in the real world. On the bright side, this means there is lots of space between installments to process information and practice the skills that we are covering. When I do finally get around to posting each bit, my posts tend to be absurdly long, so it's probably not a bad thing that they don't appear too often. 

I bought the DBT skills training manual (which is the book that tells therapists how to run DBT groups) and the book of handouts (which consists of the handouts that are given to clients in groups) from here: https://www.bookdepository.com/DBT--R--Skills-Training-Manual--Second-Edition/9781462516995 You can also download all the handouts for free from here:  https://www.guilford.com/companion-site/DBT-Skills-Training-Manual-Second-Edition/9781462516995 

@Adge and @Awpgirl were recently talking about a DBT self-help website. I'm wondering if one them might be so super kind as to post the link for us? @Awpgirl has also been trying out an app called DBT self help. 

In terms of being "left hanging," my plan is that by the time we finish the DBT adventure (which could be quite a while away!!!!), we will have the entire DBT skills training manual summarised and sitting here in Forum Land for anyone to explore. However, this is a peer support group and thus people have to be a little patient with the fact that @CheerBear and I have our own muddles that tend to get in the way of us moving through the DBT manual as quickly as we might like to. 

Have you explored options around finding a "real" DBT program where you live @Lt72884? @Catcakes has been sharing her experiences of a DBT program with us. I am super impressed that she managed to find one that included all three components of DBT (skills group, individual therapy and telephone support). Where I live, those programs are offered at a couple of private hospitals, but at the time when they would have super helped me, they were beyond my reach financially. They are still beyond my reach, but I'm now in a space where I don't feel I'd benefit from such a program. I tend to learn things best by myself out of a book (I did my entire psychology degree by distance) rather than in a group setting. However, others seem to super benefit from being in a group. 

@Former-Member have you tried balancing an egg yet? I think you should try one morning before work. I will write you a late-note: Dear Lunar's boss, please don't be mad at Lunar for running late this morning. She was busy balancing an egg, which really is work because she was role-modelling the mindfulness skill of participating for all of us Forumites. 

For @Lt72884, egg balancing is an example of the mindfulness skill of "participating" given in the DBT manual. You can read about it on this page here. 

@Former-Member I super like that your cat, Elsie, is helping you with your mindfulness practice by letting you super focus on brushing her. Yay, our list of activities that lend themselves to fully participating in the moment is growing! 

@Former-Member I am super impressed that Miss 12 got her egg to balance. I'm also pretty impressed that Mr 10 stuck at it for 10 minutes! 

I'm still keen to see more photos of balanced eggs. Go on everybody, you know you want to! 

[Shaz51]

have you tried balancing an egg yet -- I did @Phoenix_Rising 

and @Former-Member ii here in forumland

[Catcakes]

I wanted to let you know @Phoenix_Rising that although I’m still reeling from aspects of your story, I’m glad that I know it now.
I didn’t realise how lucky I was to find an intensively trained DBT therapist and complete the course with her.
I don’t see that therapist any more.
Like you, I have had many and sometimes the therapy was terminated in an abrupt and harmful way. I have reported one therapist but it was a pretty useless exercise.
I’m pretty happy with my current therapist who is smart, skilful and copes well with my different moods.
I haven’t tried egg balancing yet but doing other things mindfully. Thanks for your ongoing commitment 💪

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Catcakes I am super excited that our DBT thread is inspiring you to practice doing things mindfully. 

Yes, I can well imagine how tricky the process of reporting a therapist is. There are complex reasons why I have chosen not to report Fred - it's all a bit of a muddle! I did spend three years going through the legal process of suing a church though, and that process was hellish, so I have some sense of how challenging such things can be. 

Having therapists terminate contact abruptly is SO harmful. I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced that too. With therapists 1-12, some dumped me and some I dumped. They ranged from unhelpful and a poor fit, to re-traumatising and unethical. Yep, therapist shopping is a nightmare. However, I super hope that the fact I have now found TTT, will help other people to know that there ARE good therapists out there - they are just sadly few and far between and the only way to find a good one is to keep on keeping on. 

[Catcakes]

To be honest @Phoenix_Rising,
I often feel that I would be much happier if I never had to set foot in a professional suite ever again but there’s a problem.
I have an aversion to health professionals and I have several medical issues that require medication and monitoring 😩
Not only that but I am frequently required to accompany family members to appointments.
I even have trouble relating to the @Former-Member here so I have trouble accessing help .
I envy your ability to reach out and accept help.
Well, that’s enough 💐

[Awpgirl]

For some reason I can't wrap my head around the egg task
Could someone explain it to me?
Is it an observe activity or something different,?

[CheerBear]

Hi @Awpgirl 🙂 From my understanding the egg activity is a participating exercise.

For me to get the egg to balance (and not turn it into scrambled smashed egg on the wall), I had to 'enter' in to the experience. That might sound really fluffy and I half want to face palm myself that those words are coming out of my mouth (fingers).

It was a "focus on this and this alone" kind of activity for me. I noticed when I let go of my want to get it right, my questions about how to do it etc. and I started "doing it" I could feel the insides of the egg shifting around and how they kind of moved and settled. I wasn't thinking about much more than the egg and what was happening right then and there. That's when I felt like I was "participating".

Does that help at all?

Do you have any other activities you do that you kind of "enter into" in that sense? (You may have already mentioned them and I have missed it)

[Awpgirl]

so you guys are all using the force from star wars. Teach me the Jedi ways😀😀


@CheerBear I make the star wars reference only because that is how my brain related the description you gave.

I feel like that when I play computer games; do art; play a musical instrument; snowboard and dancing

I usually visualise or use a candle flame to help me bring my focus back.