Just checking in.

[CheerBear]

@Teej, @Zoe7 and @Sans911 thank you for listening to my vent and for getting it. I feel like rubbish tonight. After a 3-something-am start then a great but very emotional counselling session today with the soft cushion counsellor, I realise it was a mistake to have another head vs wall match with the NDIS stuff. By the time I picked up the kids I was wrecked and didn't manage well when two took each other on vying for my attention. They both needed something completely different from me and it was impossible for me to give one what they needed without the other missing out. I feel like I let them down today. This is where being a single parent hurts me the most I think - being too stretched (stretching myself too far 😏) and being too 'one person' to give them what they deserve. I'm adding those feels to the tired mash of "well this really sucks" that I'm feeling tonight 😔

Teej I love your fixit brain, thank you. I will have a proper look into those suggestions tomorrow. I did try (that's all I seem to be doing at the moment and I'm kind of sick of 'try', but anyway) to work my way through the many pages that is my service agreement looking for how to get out of it and maybe moving to another organisation that provides support coordination. Things like that turn into a blurry mess of words and overwhelm when I'm having a hiccup day so I didn't get far. Things like this were when it was SO helpful to have a mental health worker 😑

I want to think this isn't a money thing but I'm not sure. I can see that it would be a great money maker to have clients with no idea what's going on when you bill in 15 minute lots. I can also see how making in-house referrals makes money too and how finding the quickest or most appropriate service maybe doesn't matter so much anymore (to anyone except for all of us) particularly when there are big $ up for grabs. I better stop there.

I'm really, really tired. Banana brain turns extra banana-ish when I'm this wrecked and I think I'm going to try a sleeper med tonight hoping it will help with some decent sleep. I think I need it. Thank you for listening if you got this far.

[Sans911]

Here's to a better, less sucky day tommorow @CheerBear 💜💜

[Zoe7]

Much love and many hugs coming your way @CheerBear I am sure your LF will forgive you for not being able to give 100% to both of them - it is a difficult situation when one is playing off against another and you can only deal with one of them at a time. I also hope tomorrow is better for you CB 💛🧡💚💙💜

[CheerBear]

After some frustrating communication with the support coordinator, apparently I now have a support worker who I will meet next week 🤞

Thanks @Sans911 and @Zoe7 for listening last night ❤

@Teejhow are you? My gut feeling was to ask you that today.

[Sans911]

Not nice that a conversation had to be frustrating, but good to hear you've had a small win. You deserve that and much more, but you shouldn't have to fight for it. That's what your support coordinator is supposed to do, right? I'm still annoyed that you've had to go through this extra stress just to get your needs met @CheerBear

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Sans911 🙂 I'm sure you understand how frustrating it can be to have to fight for things like this 😑 I have everything crossed the new worker and I will work together well. It will be very be helpful if we do.

How are you and your beautiful fur babies going?

[Zoe7]

So glad you have someone you are going to meet next week @CheerBear but no so great you have had to jump through so many hoops to get there. I hope they work out for you and you can start benefitting from that access. 

[Sans911]

One is hiding @CheerBear in the wardrobe! And the other one is in his usual place asleep on top of the tall boy. My bedroom had to be specially arranged to the tall boy was at the top of the bed, had access to veiws outside, and that he could jump down to the window ledge. It's dissapointing that Mr A (who's on the tall boy) is quite afraid to be outside. He only goes out for short periods with period, often in the early evening. There's just too much noise that he's unprepared for. I lived in a house before with a big yard. There were very few unexpected noises. Here in the complex I'm in there are several cars a day for the man with a disability across from me, there are often several TV's playing and the doors are open (I don't have a TV) and sometimes people talking outside. There's a major road that's pretty noisy just one house away as well. My poor boy is so sensitive. When I'm settled I'll get an enclosure built out the back. That way he can come and go as he pleases.

Jasper who's much younger, is a more placid & accepting cat. I don't have any carpet, so I think he likes the wardrobe because it is dark and cool.

How is your little Rocket settling in?

And I hope too you and the new support worker are a good fit

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Zoe7 🙂 Looking forward to hearing how your day was (thinking you might be heading over to Am Not Coping to share soon). Hope it was a good one for you ❤

Awww for Mr A @Sans911. Sensitive cats are beautiful 😊 Love that you organised your room for him/them. If I had my own house I can see myself having all kinds of ramps and ledges and cosy nooks on top of wardrobes for my furry ones. I saw a whole house dedicated to cats on a Netflix show one time (Amazing Interiors I think it was). It was awesome! Hope he settles soon. Your cats always bring me a smile when I see pics or hear what they're up to.

My little Rocket is settling in so well she's trying to take over. She is a handful but the best kind of handful 😊 She's Burmese and as batty as anything. She doesn't nudge her head for pats - she rams it. She's playing fetch which is heaps of fun and she sits on my shoulder when I do the dishes (and sit on the lounge, use the bathroom, try and get dressed... lol). Boss cat Mouse has her sorted but my big Noodle is having a bit of trouble with her pouncing and playing. Nothing too serious though.

Yay for cats 🐱❤🐱😊

[Sans911]

Little Rocket sounds like a handful of energy and 😍 love. I love the fact she sits on your shoulders. Noodle will settle when she grows up a little. I think being in your home would be a lot of fun, playfulness and love! That's with the LF, Big and kitty cats, and of course YOU!!

@CheerBear