not feeling good

[BlueBay]

I'm here ....... just

dom't want this anymore

nothing is ever easy

it's all too late

there is no point

[NikNik]

It's never too late @BlueBay

[Shaz51]

Hugs @BlueBay 

I am here too hold your hand

[BlueBay]

Its too late @NikNik

nothing will change

i will never get better

i haven't yet so why bother

why is there any reason to keep going

i don't know

[NikNik]

[BlueBay]

I don't understand what the picture means @NikNik

is it that my expectations is that there is never a hiccup but reality is that there is always a hiccup

Trouble is - i have been trying so hard to get better, okay maybe sometimes not that hard enough. i am sick and tired of my life filled with anger, hurt and betrayal. i am sad, hurting so so much. it doesn't get any easier

i am sorry, i should't be ranting on here. i just need to let it all out

i was gong to run away and disappear after work, but i went home. i still have thoughts of SH, very negative thoughts atm.

If you think i need to be off this forum just pls delete me.  if i shouldn't be here just get rid of me on here; just like others have got rid of me 😞

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay that pic pretty much means that recovery isnt just as simple as straight ahead. Its all over the place sometimes you go forwards sometimes go backwards then maybe in circles then ahead again and so on. There will always be ups and downs

Is that it @NikNik

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay lots of hugs to you. No one wants to delete you off here. You deserve just as much support as anyone else

[NikNik]

HI @BlueBay

@Former-Member hit the nail on the head. It's to highlight that recovery is a twisty-turny road.

I have seen you at this place before and I've seen you come out the other side. I know you can do it.

What do you need right now to feel safe?

[BlueBay]

@NikNik

i think i will go to bed, i have to be up early for hospital admission.  I am going to be in hospital for at least 2-3 weeks.  I don't know what these new meds will do but atm i am extremely tired.  I also have a terrible headache whic is increasing my BP.  My GP tested me this morning for stroke symptoms. All good but he will do some tests when i come out of hospital.

how am i meant to pack to move? this is huge. if i am allowed home on weekend for day outings i will try to pack.

i think these new meds are making me very negative, so much so that i couldn't care less if i was here or not.  all i am thinking of is self harming, running away, disappearing, crying (which is what i am doing atm)

i need my friends and you on here; i don't want to leave or be told to leave.  i feel so betrayed by family members and it's hard to believe in myself.

i just hope that this new psych and his new meds can help me. i know i have a new GP who is amazing, caring, concerned and always willing to help. he is genuinely caring for mental health.

thank you @NikNik for your support xx