new to this looking for awnsers

[dr-ev-md]

hi, I have been diagnosed with depression???? I have found my G.P. to be as helpful as a washing machine mechanic trying to fix a broken down Formula 1 car, I feel like I have an illness never seen before, but if I did have depression there seems to be plenty of agencies, government bodies, self help groups, and a mind boggling array of prescription drugs. the only thing that seems to be normal is the cycle on my washing machine.

On a good day I feel as if I could return to work and my mood is like "I'm being lazy". On a bad day which seems to come from nowhere, at any time of the day, I feel as if I have been covered with wet concrete unable to move off the couch. I have given up alcohol and trying to get fit by walking as much as I can.

Further to I requested from my G.P a referell to see a psyciatrist, to cut a long story short he recommended I should sort out my wife's mental illness (she suffers from anxiety) or move out and separate.

Basically I'm looking for some help, real help. I live in the Frankston area. Thanks

[NikNik]

Hi @dr-ev-md 

Welcome to the forums.

We may not have answers, but we may have options 🙂

Our members have been through a variety of experiences and have found a variety of things that have worked and that haven't. The one consistent theme here is that you shouldn't give up if the treatment or help that you have sought out, doesn't meet your expectations. There are always other options.

It's great the you're here, taking ownership and looking for those other options.

Can I ask for clarity on something in your post? You said you asked your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist. Are you saying that the GP didn't give you a referral, but instead told you to 'sort out' your wife's mental health difficulties. Or that the psychiatrist suggested you do that?

Sometimes it's challenging finding the right health care professional, but they are out there 🙂 I think @kenny66 is just one of our members who has connect with someone who has worked for him.

[Rick]

Hello dr-ev-md,

My name is Rick..Nice to meet you.

from your words it sounds like you're new to all this palaver?

My first piece of advice is- Find another G.P. who is'nt a wally

Get that referral.

There are many reason why depression hits people. Sometimes it's genetic but in many cases it's environmental.

Am I right in assuming your care for your wife who has anxiety?

If so, than you possibly are operationally exhausted. caring for MI loved ones is a very draining pastime. Especially if you have been neglecting yourself which would be about usual for most carers.

To begin withyou need answers.

Only a trained professional can give them to you.

Your G.P. should be ashamed of themselves for making such rediculous sweeping statements.

A good psychologist or psychiatrist will be able, after listening to you and asking the appropriate questions, to supply you with some answers. 

An excellent starting point for information on psychs and counsellors is Medicare Local. Google them. You find one in your area. They have the low down on what services and professionals are in your area.

Depression is a gnarly toothed beast. Jump on this as soon as you can my friend. It's always better to know what's going on that to sit isolated and alone.

Well done for reaching out. It always takes courage to do that.

I believe even when I dont want to that

Hope endures

Rick

[kenny66]

Yes, I couldn't work out who told you to move out. I guess it was the GP as I cant imagine a psych giving that sort of advice.

Anyway it can take a long time to sort out a good practitioner to treat you, correct medication and other therapies. There really is help for everyone, its just a matter of sourcing the right help. I kept on getting sicker and sicker until I got effective professional help. And then it was like someone turned on the light.

I have very high end schizophrenia, which can be very difficult to treat and my medical team, community support and medication treat it very well. From what you say I would leave the GP out of the equation if he doesn't help you. I have found the ones I have dealt with useless on MI issues.

1. Talk to a specific support group for depression

2. Find a good psych in your area (plenty of people can give you a recommendation on this)

3. Get on to some forums and look at positive success stories posted from people with your MI.

4. Get onto the right medication specific to your condition but after heaps of research and consideration. Many have side effects and have severe withdrawal symptoms if you stop) I am a strong believer in medication but it took 3 years before I got onto the right combo.

5. Maybe all the above also can apply to your wife as well.

[dr-ev-md]

Thanks for your response, in answering your question,it was the psychiatrist that gave me that advice, I left with more questions than answers and my head was spinning

[dr-ev-md]

Thanks Rick yes that bit of wisdom came from the pysc and no I'm not a cater, but living with someone who can be the best wife and mother but also bullies and belittles those closest to her has finally come crashing down on me that plus working 10hours a day 6day a week I'm 53yo I've wanted to move on for years,but I couldn't leave her alone with the kids but now that they are young adults and being girls I'm just stressed out so much I think that is where the depression came from. I just can't get my head together to actually make the move

[dr-ev-md]

It was the psychiatrist that gave me that advice

[kenny66]

I would get a different psych

[Rick]

Hey Dr- ev- md

Sorry to hear that. That's a rough road you're walking.

It's so easy for others to see the solutions. But it is'nt them that have to implement them. 

Ambivalence is such a curse. It sounds like you've worked your dinger off for a long time now, maybe just to start, well, can you have a short holiday on your own?

Working hellish hours and then protecting offspring whilst deflecting a sick wife is simply exhausting.

What ever choice you go with I hope you take some time to care for yourself.

Hope endures Man

Rick