Hi @TuxedoCat @greenspace @horsecrazy4eva @tyme @Jynx @Shaz51 ,
I haven't been around for a while, the thread was dormant long enough to lose my attention, and frankly life has been throwing worse stuff at me than usual and keeping me rather occupied. I'm glad to see this thread has at least had a couple of visitors in the meantime, and I hope it will pick up again and get the life it deserves.
TuxedoCat, you asked about figuring out our needs once we were diagnosed. For me, first of all, I was diagnosed less than two years ago and am in my 40s. Whilst like you I had only really a superficial understanding of what ADHD was, I did know myself pretty well. I knew I didn't think or function like "normal" people, it was evident in every area of my life. I knew I couldn't remember stuff well, so I had reminders and little tricks set up for myself, like keeping my work bag in front of the door so I wouldn't forget it when I left. I knew I sucked at being anywhere on time, so I kept my clocks running an odd number of minutes fast so I couldn't do the calculation easily enough in a half-asleep state to know I wasn't running late when my alarm went off. I knew my energy and motivation for a thing would come when it came and couldn't be forced so I came to get into a housework frenzy when it was there and things would actually get done. I made it my business to learn skills above my station at work because I was so damn bored. I made sure I was good at my job so my managers would tolerate my mad hopping from task to task - I have driven them nuts over the years.
I'm not going to say I wish I hadn't been diagnosed, that isn't true - knowledge is always better than ignorance. But as for understanding my needs and doing anything about them post diagnosis... feeling like I have something that gives me a reason for what I am, knowing it's a major problem for heaps of people has been useful, it's explained a lot. However, my journey with it has been the opposite. I tried meds, they made it worse. I looked for strategies, turns out I'd already tried many that exist (to varying degrees of success) and found some others not to be feasible in my life circumstances. I looked for practical help, like assistance with the stuff I'm worst at (*cough* housework *cough*) or reasonably subsidised counselling for all the inevitable mental health mess that comes with it (when I say reasonably subsidised, Medicare cover still leaves you coughing up around $100 a session, how many of us have that to throw around?), and I'm coming up empty. I've looked for community among others who live with this, and with all respect to you guys, this thread gets an average of one post a month, which doesn't quite fill the need - however it's hands down the closest I've found to doing it. As for dedicated ADHD forums... all they do is bang on about meds as if that's the one and only aspect of living with ADHD.
The truth is I felt better when I thought I was just some uncategorised kind of weirdo. What I have now is a feeling of being an outsider among outsiders, and I spent two(ish) years into trying to find help/guidance that only showed the stuff I came up with on my own without even knowing I had ADHD is about as good as it gets... My search for existing knowledge stalled my own innovation. So I guess the answer to your question is I now know my greatest need is to be a pioneer. Figure out stuff to fill the enormous gaps in current knowledge on how to live like this around the minimum requirements of functioning in a society that insists square pegs must get into round holes, most especially when meds aren't always an option - perhaps shouldn't even need to be one.
AFK.
