SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

[soul]

"Yeah @soul ..... have to .... heart hurts ..... need panaceas ......"

Lol @Faith-and-Hope - I misread your comment as need pancreas. Was going to suggest a few organ transplants for you. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

You'll laugh @soul .... I had to think twice as I was writing it ..... 

Not tired .... much ..... 😆

[soul]

Got any plans for tomorrow @Faith-and-Hope? I remember that you were going to Sydney at some stage. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yep, that's tomorrow @soul .....

whoops ... dozed off again ... heading for bed ... 😴

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope, sorry your heart aches with your beautiful family rapidly changing, and spreading across the country. Its hard to let go of our kidults, especially if theyre struggling. Hope you have someone to talk to. Who would have known a few months ago it would be like this. Wish your S2 didn't have to actually go interstate. You must miss D1. Guess if you can afford plane trips back and forth you should catch up enough.

I just arranged Fathers day weekend off to hopefully visit dad, (while he still knows who i am - dementia), but mother dearest is being somewhat prickley so not sure how that will work. Fortunately my cousins have offered a bed for the night if I need it. Might be better. Don't really wanna deal with the toxic siblings. I dont know. Probably end up not going. Its so far to go on my own to land amongst such hostility. Its draining having to hold up that invisible force shield all the time, and push down feelings when hurt. I wanna love them but they don't have time for me, hard to explain 

My friends hubby had a hip replacement today. Hoping all goes well with that. He's my age. and not fat (maybe I'm not doing so bad after all). She last dropped in for coffee Sat (when my son was on the roof cleaning gutters). Guess its good he doesn't think I'm all alone here. She's challenging company but grounding to have a human being who bothers to check in on me regularly.

Work was weird today - the air was thick between staff, they seemed tense and tired when I arrived for afternoon shift 12md. Maybe just overthinking - Not My Problem, just do my part and go home. I went to bed when I got home and only just woke up 11pm, Oopsy, messed with my body clock.

Need a decaf ☕

[Former-Member]

Hi there @soul. @Adge

[soul]

You should have set the alarm for just a nap @Former-Member. You night owl you! 🦉 

I suppose I better get to bed. Daughter just got home. Comes in. "What are you still doing up?"' Not "How was your day?" So grumpy. Can't win. 

[Former-Member]

My daughter had this lovely habit of calling 'hey mum' when she walked in the door after school. Still rings in my ears 💜

Maybe a comeback like "love you too. how was your night" might help with your girl. Or not. Someone once reminded me that teenagers brains are still under construction - so, technically, teens are brain damaged lol

Tankfully they grow out of it ❤

They say we have to just 'get them through it!' - but i do wonder - whose watching our back! Dont let it define you like i did for too long. We have to survive it too. just keep lovin ol

Lots of being kind to yourself @soul , nothing lasts forever ❤❤❤

[soul]

Thanks @Former-Member. This teenage phase is going on for longer than I expected though. When I've said things like you have suggested I get a grunted sort of "yeah"

So nice that you have that lovely memory of your daughter.

Hope you get that body clock of yours regulated. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Morning ladies (and @Adge if you're around ...)

Yeah .... the teens are extending into their 20's for my younger two @Former-Member .... the pdoc explained that the trauma S2 has suffered (I'm calling it trauma, he didn't) has set him back in his emotional development, and it's clearly the same for D3 .... Its this sort of collateral damage that has me so upset, and then blind-sided with a sudden interstate move that is a bailing out of a home situation rather than a natural stepping out of the nest .... more like getting flung out ....

And if WH's e.d. was caught and received intervention early, we could have avoided all this .... and I was sitting there watching it unfold without any way to stop it that wouldn't have caused the same sort of collateral damage .... but all that comes under the "what if's" umbrella ... have to look at what we do have .... and maybe that potential scenario would have gotten to the e.d. but not the rest of what we are dealing with here ....

S2 has indicated that part of the reason for the move is to change the dynamic of the extended family and break bonds with the (perceived) personality disorder that is running through the veins of the entire family, it seems .... so similarly to you needing to be away from your family and only visit infrequently @Former-Member .... I think that is the deal for us .... and I think that is where the specialists will try to treat WH - away from the enabling extended support that has invalidated our own family dynamic.

If you look at it like that, they are carefully dis-assembling everything that I couldn't, with the objective of putting us all back together again in the course of dealing with WH.  S2 says the counselling place has contacts for him / us on this side of the country.  I suspect the family support available to us is far more extensive here.