SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member How you described that exchange with your mother sounds very much like my mother - turning each positive thing (that you expressed) into a negative.

I'm sure you did everything right (not wrong at all).

Unfortunately she seems unable to focus on what you were offering (a visit) - & instead chooses to focus on other things.

I would feel not heard & not listened to in that situation.

I'm thinking of you.

Adge

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Adge, you get it. Pearls walked into the mud again. There's more than one person living in my mothers shell, one wants me one doesn't. Dad sots on the fence. Are you ok yourself? For a Friday night? Haven't forgotten you. 🌷🌿🐦🌱

[Former-Member]

After crying to sleep last night I actually woke up feeling, dare I say it, a speck of joy - glad I'm alive and watching the sun rise. This is rare. Just had to tell someone. But have to get out the door to work now. Thanks for your support last night 🙂 🌷🌿💕🌞

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds as if your mother doesn't know who she is some days - my mother could say nice things with a barb in them - like 

🎭

"Hey Dad - daughter made some cupcakes - but they are very sweet - or don't break your teeth on the cashews" - etc - that can be painful

Make it so you can leave anytime you have had enough - that's what I used to do - I don't know what happened the last time you visited your oldies

And so glad you are feeling sunshiny

Dec

[Keppet]

New here, but reading through the forums slowly, I am feeling less isolated in that my symptoms are mirrored with others here, like @Former-Member, the shorter days and the end of Autumn have, for the past few years, seen my defences weaken and my depressed state of mind creeps up and smacks me. 

I never questioned it, silly me, but SAD was explained to me two years ago and to some extent it helped me because I could label it.  I don't know about you lot, but for me to say "oh, that's such'n'such" can really help me come to terms with it, knowing that's just part of my life.  Accepting it as an emotion or response to an outside stimulus assists me in my mindfulness & my attempts to keep on an even keel.  I suppose like a palm in the wind, bending to it and not letting it break me.

Even though its cold out there, for me at least there's that warming sunshine if you can find the right spot out of the wind, getting out and about can elevate some of those feelings SAD tends to overlay on your life. Especially so if I can walk in the sun along the foreshore. 

[soul]

Hey @Former-Member - that old adage that you can't choose your family rings true with you and boy did it hit me today. Feeling so isolated and alone. Don't want to burden my kids with all the rubbish from my siblings but it sure does make me want to run away. 

[KobeCat]

HI @Keppet

Welcome to the forums!!  I hope you find this space a safe and supportive environment. 

Regards, 

Kobe x

[Former-Member]

Hi @Keppet, welcome to the forums, and welcome to the SAD thread. It does help when we know the weather is affecting us. I like that there's a time limit - every Spring I get a distinct increase on energy - its not forever.

Yes @soul, we don't choose our family (although I have a neighbour who is a spiritualist and believes we actually contract with God who we come here to dwell with, go figure :/) But maybe people change too, grow apart and all that. Besides, they probably see me as part of the problem because I've had two major depressive breakdowns & big Mental Health admissions... I know my sister & I have never been close. 5yrs apart doesn't help. And living away, its occurred to me lately that - they make avlot of assumptions about me and simply don't know me anymore, maybe never did. Maybe I complain too much / expect too much from them too. Having my first breakdown sure knocked me off the pedestal they had me on and humbled me. Not that they're even aware - never talked about it. How come nobody ever wants to talk about how our 'going off the rails' (suicide attempts etc) affect them? Maybevit just frightens them, as in 'they're next' lol

@Owlunar, I agree, an exit strategy is important, that's why I like having my car and not using public transport. I'm doing a tailspin if winter in the best time to go re defenses down...I need a family & keep expecting them to love too, but not they can't unless theres something in it for them (it seems). You've been there. Glad you're feeling a little better.

@Adge, how ya going? Hope my talking about m mm doesn't make you, or TAB too saf - given the loss of your own parents. Interesting that last March I had a vision I would be attending a funeral mid / late July. What can we do? When one's number is up, its up, but who? I appreciate that others here relate to how I see it SPL
___
Gosh, keep falling asleep here sorry 🌷🌿

[Adge]

@Former-MemberFeel free to write about what you need to, it's fine.

I find that I need to somehow express things, in order to have any chance of connecting with people.

Otherwise no one will know what's going on, or how you are feeling about something.

Hearing about other people's sad losses actually helps me to feel less alone & more connected - because then I know that other people have sadly experienced bereavement or loss too.

Even though I would never wish that on anyone.

I often virtually fall asleep at my keyboard, whilst trying to read or write posts on here.

Adge

[Keppet]

Thank you @KobeCat @Former-Member, there's a lot to read here and as I plod through I can see some people who have had or a having similar experiences, which is good for me to know that my feelings or responses to situations aren't restrict to just me, but not so good in that others a suffering. 

Its not a revelation I know, but nor are you case studies or an abstract newspaper article.  You are here to express your thoughts and do so without those external pressures or judgement by peers. 

I guess you're right in that we know when it will come with more lead in that other types of triggers that might be lurking just around the corner.  Do you think we then anticipate it, creating our own demon, a self fulfilling prophecy?