SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

[Former-Member]

Got the afternoon blues 😞

The cold air is rolling in, got not much done and just spilt a full cuppa over onto my laptop & phone 😱 Phone not bad but worried about laptop which is up on its side, drips not good. The lid was down but big splash on side plugs I missed at first 😞 Guess I should leave it a few days before plugging in to test.

Mother dearest still upsets me. @Owlunar when do we grow out of that one? Never mind, think I know the answer. Will explain later. Just played my fav chorus - 'in Chris Alone' (powerful), and had a little walk around the back yard, patted the neighbours dog, hung out a load of washing I forgot about - all made me feel better 😮

[Former-Member]

Hi  @Shaz51  thanks, not too good today, not since talking with mum, and had bad nightvre back, my family breaks my heart, each one of them. Damned if ya do damned if ya don't situation. Feel nauseous thinking about it, them. Are you ok?, have ya own hands full I guess. My dog is happy 😕

[Former-Member]

Was finally motivated to 'do the right thing' and go visit my frail parents for mums 83rd B'day Thursday. This was the tx exchange that's left me in conflict, as usual. Really can't figure out why it always have to go south with them. Breaks my heart. This is the tx exchange:

ME: Hi MumDad, do you mind if I come visit / stay couple days next w'end 8th?
MA: If you want to, but I'm worried about you leaving your dog on his own
ME: Let me worry about my dog, I'm glad there's room at the Inn 🙂 Don't fuss, I can sleep anywhere. Plz let Cz [my estranged sister] & the others know I'm coming down if they want to organise time to catch up.
MA: I've given up trying to get them to come here, good idea but to much water has gone under the bridge and distance makes it hard its all about the choices we've maxe at another time when things were different
ME: Don't know what you mean, plz just let them know i'll be there 8-9th - if they want to pop over, get together while i'm close & cheaper for them, I'd like to see them. Just let them know - its not rocket science lol, thankyou
MA: No one comes here anyway, C# is only 1hr away and said shes posted my birhday gift, L# might be in china and G# is in a wheelchair now with his MS. i know its not rocket science and i am not 5 yrs old

Did this go badbad?, it feels like it has, but is it me? My depression! I don't know if I'm really wanted around 😞, feel so confused and sad and broken and alone... 💧☔🍃

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member  you ae really wanted around  @Former-Member XX sounds like your mum is telling you want is really happening around her

sending you hugs my darling  

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I know that was hard - and I wonder if we ever really get over it - probably not - but we can lead our own lives anyway

But it does sound as if your mother wants to see you - there's more than room at the inn - but your siblings

I think the problem has nothing to do with you - your siblings might have probs with the oldies - 

But there's room at the inn for you anyway - go for it - 

I'm proud of you for asking - well done

And I agree with @Shaz51

Dec

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Shaz51 & @Owlunar. Just feel so vulnerable with them all, and the trip... And don't wanna be where I'm not wanted, or in hostile territory. Indvi still get confused if its all in my head but its not, they're aggressive and sometimes vile, but am I just too sensitive.? Wish I was more 😞 Betta shelve it all for now, so I can make it to work in morning. So tired. Tried to 'like' your post Shaz but it won't let me. Did Decs, weird. Thanks again. Night 💜☔

[Owlunar]

I don't know what your parents are like @Former-Member - but it seems you are welcome

Maybe things will be tense but it sounds as if your Mum was pleased - maybe you know them better

But always have the door open to leave it things do get edgy

But plan to enjoy the weekend - go bearing gifts or food or both -

Wow - I would have so loved it if my mother had wanted me to visit

Dec

[Shaz51]

I was just remembering your last trip to your mum`s @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Can't do this anymore

[Former-Member]

I have sent you an email @Former-Member hope you are okay