Red's house

[rav3n]

that sounds really rough @The-red-centaur i'm so glad you've reached out here. i can hear how heavy those thoughts and feelings are, you 100% deserve to be seen and heard. when those feelings get overwhelming, do you feel comfy reaching out to BeyondBlue, LL or SCBS, etc.? 

in the mean time, we're here for you. you matter to me. it's totally okay if today was unproductive, you're still here - and that matters most. 

sitting with you and sending you some warm, gentle hugs 💙

[The-red-centaur]

I got hit sideways from a call from my mother today. I disassociated badly. 

Her selfishness and lack of support of care wasn't the problem, that's normal and im used to that. It was her parading my brother over me, knowing full well he sexually abused me ehen we were kids.

Um. Idk. I'm sad. 

[The-red-centaur]

Today I was working on finalising some art for my market. We had a tradie doing a quick bit of work. He bought one of my pieces as he left. 

I should be proud. But Idk. I just feel so numb lately. 

Managing my health has been really hard. I'm so tired, I've been getting migraines, my neurological issues are annoying, its hard to focus. I don't know how I'll manage my stall next weekend. 

I'm also getting a housemate in less than 2 weeks. I don't know anything about them yet. 

I've been having issues with my mental health team. I don't know where to reach out. I can't tell anyone I'm struggling. My thoughts aren't great and I don't know what to do. 

[rav3n]

hey @The-red-centaur do you consent to virtual hugs? if so, sending you a bunch of gentle hugs. if not, just know that my hearts with you. 

that's really great about the tradie buying your work!! but it's okay if you're not able to feel proud right now, and i imagine having all those thoughts and worries about your support team, new housemate, your health, etc., makes it hard to focus on the good stuff. i'm proud of you, not just for the painting but for pushing through and trying your best. 

is there anyone you can speak to about getting more info on the housemate? feels a bit unfair to not give you some sorta info ahead of time. hope the housemate is a good one.

i'm so sorry that you feel like you can't reach out to your support team at the moment. i can't imagine how isolating that feels, and although you'll always have the forums community, i do wish you had someone in real life too. are there any support services you engaged with in the past that you're able to reach out to? and also wondering, if you've used the SANE Support Line before? 

💙

[The-red-centaur]

@rav3n thanks for the support. I can consent to hugs at the moment, thank you. 

My ndis don't have much information on the person either. They are frustrated but due to emergency situations they have had to rush the process. So I'm hoping it will all be OK. 

My support workers are usually a good support, but I've been finding it hard to reach out to them lately. I think I once called the sane line a long time ago, when it was fairly new. 

Normally in crisis I'd call lifeline or the mental health energy response line. Due to a situation with my local mental health the latter is not something I wish to contact. And I'm scared lifeline would just make things worse. I don't want the situations escalating. 

I'm just tired maybe, and the fact the last week has been 37 or higher hasn't helped much either. 

[rav3n]

@The-red-centaur no worries at all.

ahh i see, that is tricky when there's little in their control too. i'm hoping that this new housemate can be someone you can lean on to make things feel less lonely.

that's good you've got your support workers, and i hear how hard it is to reach out - at the same time, you absolutely deserve to be heard. and considering they've been good in the past, there's a good chance that doing the hard part of reaching out to them might be worth it. 

well if you're looking for other supports to try, the SANE helpline still runs 12pm-6pm Mon-Friday (no pressure if you're not feeling up to it though!!). i hear your fears about the crisis services too, with different ppl picking up those calls each time, sometimes one might be more validating and understanding than another.

oh gosh, the heat is HORRIBLE!! with autumn coming up, hopefully things turn around. i gotta hop off soon, but keep reaching out. i see your strength. talk to you soon 💙

[The-red-centaur]

@rav3n Monday was over 40 in my part of Perth 🥵🥵Next week should be a little cooler thankfully. 

Thank you for the support this evening. It's nice to know this community is always around. 

[rav3n]

40!?! please tell me you have a bunch of aircons or fans to protect you 🙃 @The-red-centaur 

no worries at all, really grateful to have you in this community 💙 okay now i need to scurry off hehe good nighttttt

[The-red-centaur]

@rav3n goodnight. 

It's only 7 here so I'm probably just gonna go chill in bed for a bit and listen to a book. 

[rav3n]

what book were you listening to? @The-red-centaur also hiii how's your Monday going?