Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[BPDSurvivor]

Thanks for the hugs @Sirine . 

I’ve never been good with changes to routine. When I’m not working, I really really struggle. Usually I’m okay, but to be honest, the 36 degree heat is really going to me. 

I went swimming today for an hour or so. It was pretty okay. But when someone said something to me after, it was the last straw. I blew my top.

 Can’t wait to the go back to the normality of work.

 I’m just going to read tonight. Reading “Quit like a woman” by Holly Whitaker. Such a grounded book that talks about the sh*t life throws at you and how to overcome it. For this author, it was overcoming acoholism. Not that I’m a drinker - it just the idea of woman making a ‘radical choice’ to overcome behaviours…

Once again, thank you for your hugs.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @DannixD @Sirine  and others following. 

It’s nearly 3am and I’m struggling to sleep. I was browsing through Clickview on my iPad in preparation to return to work and came across the movie ‘Searching’. Oh my goodness! My heart is still racing after watching it! Not because it’s full of action. Not because it has awesome actors. Not because of sound/light effects… It was such a clever movie with so many twists and turns. It keeps you breathless until the very end! I’m not even a movie lover, yet I was absolutely drawn in! Btw, it’s about a father who is on a mission to find his missing teenage daughter.

Digressing from that, the reason I’m sharing is because after watching it, my emotional being seems to be in overdrive.

Inside, I’m on fire longing to see movement in the BPD realm. Statistics show the prevalence of BPD in Australia is 2-6%. Yet why do we continually see people posting here about BPD distress - whether as carers or those with lived experience?

When I open the forums’ main page, there are new discussions on a daily basis related to BPD.

Surely together we can find more ways to support our fellow borderlines?

The BPD pain is real. The BPD torment is real. The BPD hurt is real.

When can we make BPD support real-er?

Ive been down the BPD journey and I’m here to tell the story as a survivor.

I want you all to have the support that I had - yet current realities tell me this is not possible in the public system.

What we can do is continue to strengthen, support and encourage each other.

BPD UNITED!

@SanSan @Melbpdptsd @Ferylgirl @Former-Member @Loz_3647 @Determined @Captain24 @Bow @Birdofparadise8 @creative_writer @Judi9877 @HJ23 @James_N @Cinderella83 @MAXLOVE4EVA @-TC- @Kbomb @BPD95 @Hombre @Filly24 @MadScientist @Schitzo @MaDM8Dave 

Please tag anyone else you know who would benefit.

[BlueBay]

BPD sucks big time 

it tries to control you and your mind

It makes you believe that what it tells you is true 

and you believe it completely 

it takes away your self worth 

today has been a hard day 

some things I told my dr this morning was so out of the blue comments about myself 

yet I believed it even when my dr didn’t believe what I was saying was true 

i wish I could make BPD disappear. 

i know @BPDSurvivor you got help and that’s fantastic that you were able to. 

abandonment rejection self sabotage negative talk inside my head are all part of my BPD. 

im sorry I’m ranting. Just not coping tiday. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hugs to you my dear @BlueBay . 

It’s okay to sit with these feelings. It’s true - it takes over one’s life. 

All the negative perception and negative self talk becomes a habit. It because instinctive as a way to protect yourself from potential hurt. I know this is what I did. For example, rather than feel left out, I made sure I was in control and step away first. This was to protect myself from the feeling of being unloved and unworthy. This was what I instinctively did.

Recovery was about recognising I did this, then in a way, challenge myself. If i naturally wanted to hide from people so as not to get hurt (avoidant personality), I would make sure I mingled with people no matter how much o hated it. At first, I did this for short amounts of time, then gradually increased.

Today, I still hate social gatherings. But if you saw me, you’d never guess. I socialise even though I’m cringing inside. Why? Because I know I can’t go back to the way I was.

This concept can be appplied to other situations. Anything that may be triggering intact. Allow yourself to stop, think about how you normally react, then try to react differently this time. By giving yourself space, you have more clarity about the circumstance.

Hang in there my dear. Don’t give up. I have faith that BPD will one day be your friend. I hear it is hard now - but there is hope.

[Ferylgirl]

Hi @BlueBay 

Yep BPD sucks big time. 

We are never rid of it completely. 

While our feelings about our self respect, self-worth,  and self-esteem vary day by day and sometimes minute by minute, our actual self respect, self-worth and self-esteem can be built on a bedrock of knowledge that we are as worthy of respect and good esteem as anyone else.

 Depression and anxiety may make us feel bad about ourselves but those feelings are not the truth. 

Knowledge is a firm foundation. Feelings are shifting sands. 

Sorry you had a bad day. 

You are valuable, worthy, and respectable.

Ferylgirl

[BPDSurvivor]

Since my last BPD ‘episode’, things have been quite good @Ferylgirl @BlueBay @Sirine @tyme @SanSan 

I’m counting down days and realise I have a week left before returning to work. I’m excited yet also a bit anxious as I don’t know what to expect. I don’t even know which team I’ll be working with this year, nor do I have my timetable yet.

I have to say I’ve had a good break from work and am ready to go back. I start Friday next week.

 Tonight, I’m just browsing BPD resources to see what’s out there. I completed SANE’s survey tonight and one thing I wrote which I’d like to see more of is ‘more accessible supports for people with BPD’.

 It’s so unfortunate that only a handful of people get access to the much-needed treatment.

I hear about people having BPD struggles all the time. Why? I’ve come to realise that it’s not because the prevalence is any higher than the 2%, but rather, that people are not going into remission because they don’t have access to the BPD-specific therapies? What do you think? 

Also, I’m a bit disillusioned by so many therapists offering DBT which is supposed to help those with BPD… why? Because it’s not really the whole DBT course… rather, it’s elements of it.

 What I have found then is that people with BPD come out saying, ‘DBT didn’t help’… but maybe that’s because they didn’t actually have the whole therapy? This breaks my heart.

I wish I could help all BPD-ers out there. I really do. I have felt the pain. I have felt the rage. I have felt what it is to be turned away by services.

 My heart is with you. 

Please feel free to share your BPD experiences. It may help many feel less alone.

[Sirine]

@BPDSurvivor good luck with your return to work am sure it will be a wonderful day hun. 

im still new to bpd and really have had no one to discuss it with but that’s ok am used to that.  So I agree very much with what you are saying.  

mental health support across the board is lacking significantly and bpd being so “new” is probably missing out the most. 

anyway enjoy going back to work hun and we will catch up soon xxx

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @Sirine. @BPDSurvivor , @Ferylgirl , @BlueBay , @tyme 🥰

[SanSan]

I'm currently reading Dr Linehan's book 'CBT of BPD' and getting so much from it pretty much exactly because there are no delivery services of DBT where I am so yes, it would be great to hear of more being done to help those of us as BPD survivors; especially as a 'newly diagnosed' facing yet another thing in my life which needs to be journeyed alone.

I heard yesterday though that there might be accessible online DBT therapy groups, has anyone any knowledge of any that exist? I am someone though that believes I'd benefit more with a physical presence but right now even an online group would be appealing.

Some good news though - the barrier of travel costs is to be lifted in March as all travel in Victoria becomes just $10 and some cents (although I believe that to be the total cost for the day I might have read it incorrectly so this would be another clarification-seeking moment.)

Here's hoping to your next week being full of the things you want to do before your weeks become things of need-to-do 🙂

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @SanSan , yes there are online DBT groups. I've actually spoken to people who engage in therapy through DBT online. https://dbtonline.com.au/

Are you located in Victoria? I may be able to provide some hinters if I know the state you reside in. You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable.

If you are in Vic, you can also access Spectrum's online psychoeducation groups online - these are free of cost. You can find these through Eventbrite - I 'follow' them so I get regular emails about what's on offer.

Project Air also have online peer led groups specifically for BPD

I'm happy to help you find something if you want. There IS definitely support out there.