Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[Sirine]

@BPDSurvivor  I truly hope so

[BPDSurvivor]

I have full faith and confidence in the hope that comes with BPD recovery @Sirine .

I also had comorbidities with my BPD - largely depression, insomnia, anxiety and disordered eating.

The medication helped with the insomnia, anxiety and depression, but didn't help the BPD itself. However, I know that if I didn't have the medication to support be with these conditions, I would not have been ready for therapy.

I hope you get the most out of DBT. A word of warning, it won't all be smooth sailing. Some sessions will be better than others. 

With therapy, the more I worked to 'change my brain', the stronger and quicker the effect. What I mean is that there were a lot of things I really didn't like but I knew were good for me - hence, through therapy, I learnt to do these things that were hard. e.g. go to social events. I would have much preferred to hide away at home, but I knew it was making my BPD worse. Hence, I made myself go to events - but I did put in some safety measures such as limiting my time.

All the best @Sirine - I'd be really interested to see how your BPD journey progresses.

[Ferylgirl]

Hi @Sirine, 

I know that it can feel like a lot of work. You are worth the work! Just keep going. BPD has so much hope and we can learn to live better lives. Lean on the supports you have. 

I was born in Brissie and still think of it as home.

I hope you are feeling better now a few days have passed. A change in diagnoses often take time to sink in and for us to come to grips with. 

Ferylgirl

[Sirine]

@BPDSurvivor I look forward to finding myself and to connecting with others. 

I used to love events and social stuff I worked in the entertainment industry for years now I just want a little farm a horse goats and chooks lol. I've gone from loving people to hating them - go figure. 

[BPDSurvivor]

And that's the nature of BPD @Sirine - the love hate relationship; the all or nothing; the black or white with nothing in between.

I'm hearing you on that.

I turned to hating to be around people because I was hypersensitive and got so hurt (emotional searing) if they:

- talked to me

- didn't talk to me

- looked at me

- didn't look at me

- winked in my direction

- blinked in my direction

Like seriously?! I was hurt all the time. Hence I withdrew myself from people in order to 'protect' myself. 

So can you see how hard MBT group therapy would have been for me? Boy oh boy did I not like some of the others in the group. I couldn't stand some of them and ended up walking out on numerous occasions when they spoke. I was so triggered by them.

Imagine group therapy with a room of maximum 8 people - all highly acute borderlines?! It's like explosions waiting to happen - and they did! I remember the heated arguments, the emotion-fueled discussions, the tears, the swearing.... OMG. I felt sorry for the facilitators. But you know what? MBT was the best thing that happened to me! It make be stick to being in a group of people - of whom some I really did not like!

This is just like the real world - sometimes, we just have to stick to the things/people we do not like!

[Sirine]

@BPDSurvivor what's mbt? I have been told dbt is good but hard.  

I'm off to bed just so tired all the time.

Thank you and I look forward to chatting with you again soon 😊 

[BPDSurvivor]

MBT is Mentalisation-based therapy @Sirine  - I still can't believe I had the opportunity to have this treatment through the public system! Actually, all my years of therapy has been through the public mental health system.

I know people have a lot of negative things to say about the mental health system, but for me, I wouldn't be alive without it. The MH system has carried me through my mental health journey for which I am forever grateful. I was absolutely looked after and provided the treatment I needed.

[BPDSurvivor]

Oh @Sirine , I forgot to type that I'll catchya later. Have a great evening.

Speak to you soon 🙂

[Sirine]

@BPDSurvivor 

Hi hun saw shrink today he was very interesting.  He apologised for my mistreatment and told me not to see private shrinks because all they want is money. ???  Am off to atods tomorrow to get sober.  I'm still processing but starting to feel more hopeful.  I wish I had more friends but it is what it is. 🤷  

Anyway I look forward to chatting with you soon 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @Sirine - I like how you said he was 'very interesting'. I don't have much liking for psychiatrists, however, I have come across maybe 2 really grounded psychiatrists who I did actually like. They were 'human' and I felt they saw me as a human and not a 'case' or a 'number'.

I'm happy to hear you are feeling more hopeful. 

I'm here for a chat whenever you want.

BPDSurvivor