Hi @BPDSurvivor @Daisydreamer @Shaz51 @HenryX @BlueBay @Former-Member @Paperdaisy @frog and all forumites here.
I'd just like to thank each of you for being so caring, supportive and kind to me in my last post as that has really helped me and my moods. It's great to know I've got my forum family to care for me so thank you very much for all of your kind words and support. It's been very much appreciated☺️!
I just thought I'd let you all know that I've had an interesting development in my world later on tonight in the form of my estranged alcoholic father who decided to call me and in which I took a brave chance in answering his call. Let's just say it was like a Beauty and the Beast moment (my favourite Disney movie) whereby he chose to call me and I took a chance on him by answering his call tonight (Friday). He apologised for his behaviour and told me he's back working 3 days a week after one of his old work mates secured him a job in his old industry where there is now a skills shortage and so he was able to come out of retirement and re-enter the workforce at 72. That's a positive for him as it means he's not at home drinking 3 days a week and he's doing something productive and getting paid great money for it as well. I told him about my psych ward admission and he's totally understanding about it due to what caused the admission (my schizophrenia and Covid-19 restrictions) and has admitted that these restrictions have also been hard for him being alone and with limited supports from his old social networks whom he had a falling out with for some undisclosed reasons. I also told him about my housing situation which he believes is unfair but can understand that we need to leave because of the property managers issues which he also didn't like when I told him about the rent money problems. We spoke about my sister as well and the troubles I've been experiencing with her with him telling me that she's like my mother who loved causing drama and thinking she was never the problem in any of her relationships, including family and friends, and that he and I are alike which is why we get along so well. He's even offered to loan me money for a car instead of going through a credit loan company and paying 24.5%pa interest rates just because I'm on Centrelink and am deemed a credit risk, which I've agreed to pay him back the same amount of money each fortnight into a separate account of his when I get paid my DSP money so it's a regular payment and one that I'll definitely never miss. He'll even help me look for a used car and make sure I don't get ripped off like I did with my current car that hasn't been used due to being broken down since December last year which is great of him. He's calling me tomorrow/today - Saturday- to have another talk about things and I'll definitely be accepting the phone call after this call went so well.
I will admit that when my dad called, I was scared as he called me last month when I was at PARCS and I didn't take the call because I wasn't ready mentally for his call. I wasn't well and I was scared of what he would say and do if he knew about what was happening to me back then. I now realise that he's been more accepting of me being in hospital for treatment than my sister ever was and probably ever will be as he sees my mental illnesses as just that- illnesses- and not something to be scared of or make a status issue of like my sister does. If there was a celebrity with a certain mental illness who could make the mental illness trendy or cool, then my sister would probably try and get diagnosed with it just to fit in and have a connection to the celebrity, especially if the celebrity was a favourite of hers, Britney Spears exempt of course! Then again, my sister thinks the Australian and Victorian mental health laws are similar to the American ones so try and work that one out as I definitely can't! All I know is I'm not letting my sister know about this relationship starting back up again as I don't want her to ruin it for me, like she's done in the past. It's bad enough I'm scared that I'll wreck the relationship because of my BPD, let alone my sister getting involved again. Dad wants to meet for coffee soon which I said can happen at the end of November once uni is over for the year and I'm looking forward to it happening. There's a lot of things that have happened to each of us and it will be good to sit down and chat and see what each of us look like, which I haven't done in many years. Like I said, I'm nervous and slightly anxious about this new relationship restarting again but I'm also hopeful that it will be a good thing as well as I've missed having him to talk to, especially since it's been 19 long years since my mother died of cancer. When the 2 of us talk, I know he gets what I'm going through as we are very sitting things unlike my twin sister who I struggle to get her to see my side of the world and one without drama, which she doesn't like. If the world doesn't revolve around my sister and her dramas, then basically I don't exist unless she's in trouble physically (she likes to think that because I did VCE physical education back in the 90s that I'm some sort of doctor with knowing how to
handle muscle aches and pains in her legs which I'm definitely no medical expert!) or she's had a drama at work or some sort of important celebrity or netball news that I must know about because apparently it's vital knowledge that I must have, in her opinion! Again, I hope you can see why I need her not knowing about this important development in my life. I will tell my psychologist as I see this as important for him to know about and I'm slsk
curious to get his advice on how to handle the relationship so I don't mess it up.
Speaking of my psychologist, I'm going to email him and let him know about the housing situation, my relationship issues with my sister and now my father, the self harm issues in more detail and what happens when I speak to my GP today via Telehealth appointment as he wanted me to make an appointment when I spoke to him last Saturday and had self harm snd suicidal issues on the phone to him. My mental state has improved a fair bit for the positive since I last posted on here which is great so please don't worry about me as I'm fine.
Okay forumites. It's now early Saturday morning and I need to get some beauty sleep! Thanks for reading this post.
Nighty⭐️🌛
Judi9877😎🍀⭐️
The stress of working out where to live and wondering what is next is really stressful, and my thoughts are with you! At the heart of wellbeing, we all deserve a safe and stable place to live, and I am hearing that moving in with your sister sounds like a daunting prospect. 
