Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[Judi9877]

Hi @BPDSurvivor @TideisTurning @Oaktree  @Hombre @Shaz51 and all forumites here. How are things going for each of you? My life has been hectic but I'm learning new things each day, like the benefits of a warm shower with lavender shower gel when I can't sleep or feel emotional!

I've just seen that for BPD Awareness Week in October this year, the theme is going to be Discover Creative Wellbeing and focus not only on people with BPD, but carers and people working with people with BOD as well. I really think it's going to be a great week and I look forward to seeing what eventuates from it as they are building on last year's theme of Flipping the Script. It should be a great week!

Enjoy your night!

Judi9877😎💐

[Oaktree]

Hi @Judi9877 

I am struggling a bit atm

Meggle

[BPDSurvivor]

Oooooo @Judi9877 ,

That's great! BPD awareness week is so close to my heart because it was through BPD Awareness Week cards at Spectrum (specialist centre for personality disorders, VIC) where I first read about SANE. Otherwise I'd never heard of SANE before that.

And, if I didn't get those cards, I would have never met any of the awesome people I have met here!

Thank you BPD Awareness Week! For those who don't know, BPD Awareness week is held in the first week of Oct each year. And how exciting that it'll all be about creativity!!!

https://www.bpdawareness.com.au/ 

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

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[BPDSurvivor]

We are with you @Oaktree ,

Feel free to share any of your struggles here if you think it will help.

Remember, many people have been through a similar way, and there are many still learning and journeying. Your experiences may bring light to an otherwise dark road where people know they are not alone.

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

How are you @Former-Member .

I'm here if you need a chat.

Whatever it is, I'm willing to travel with you on your journey.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

[Former-Member]

Oh thank you @BPDSurvivor,  Messy few days here (emotionally, tears, poor sleep, loneliness etc). 

 When reading this thread it just it hit me, I related so closely to experiences of BPD here I cried, especially rejection pain extremes "this is me" I thought and I cried, then got angry, with my mum, and sin,  and it made me realise how much of a life curse it, BPD, has been.
I was labelled this in my 20s (breakdown 1986) but when telling me dx my psych also said "it's nothing really" so I disregarded it, sat more with the "depression & anxiety" side of it all these years, which of cause just a band-aid approach.. 

More recently, a therapist tells me "BPD is unkind label for you... I see 'trauma' with a capital T" it's been confusing.
Yet here I am connecting with all these lived experiences / feelings you guys express here and, well, it hit a nerve, highlighted a lifetime of struggle I've not managed well at all, or found proper educated  support to... (not that I ever found value in trusting people anyway, as you know). 

Yeah, all seems so circumstantial too don't you think. Like grabbing water at  with ya fingers, impossible to grasp.

I donno, it's made me sad connecting with Yas here, for a moment, the self realisation, and I couldn't find words, then you pass over me too... (rejection🚩) triggering Rebuff - this fight in me "I'm not gonna accept that label anyway / give into it... the victimology of it all...
Oh dear, a brief moment of connecting flew by
Kinda all a bit late now I reckon, not much left of me to offer the world it seems,  my fate sealed (too old), 

but

guess it's helping me finish the puzzle at least, find that missing piece of me, a corner piece...
I'm glad you've found healing. But do you ever wonder if BPD was a true dx for you? I think it's more a symptom that belongs on a list rather than given  umbrella status, denegrating at that.
Sorry, still mixed up about it all,  all these years later.
Am I making any sense 2U?

[Former-Member]

BPD
https://youtu.be/to5qRLRSS7g
Found a good link. Thought she explained BPD the best I've heard... I'm still not sure I'm BPD though.. Not once have I threatened suicde with anyone. Fear of rejection has been real, but only after marriage. Before that I was happy in my own world. I don't let people close enough to hurt me anymore. Getting older helps. God broke me 🕊️

[BPDSurvivor]

My dear @Former-Member ,

Of course I understand where you are coming from! It definitely makes sense.

In my early days, I also saw BPD as a curse. I thought it was a punishment because I was a "bad" person. All the resources I saw online kept telling me the struggles and challenges of pwBPD. This didn't help. I knew my struggles already - I didn't need people to rub it in. What I wanted to know was - what do I do? Where to from here?

When I absolutely had enough of my life, I reached out for help. I had a lengthy assessment at Spectrum. I remember say to them, "I've tried everything in my own power. I need help. This is my last chance."

After being accepted by Spectrum for their MBT program, I engaged as much as I could. It was sooooo challenging. There were tears. There were setbacks. There was pain. Therapy was about unlearning unhelpful habits and relearning helpful habits.

Consider your lifetime, how long it's taken you to develop all your current habits so that you are what you are today? It takes a long time to unlearn what is unhelpful. Therefore, therapy for BPD takes a long time. But the earlier you start, the better. It's never too late.

I was sceptical about MBT, but now, looking back, it made a huge difference. I don't see BPD as a curse anymore. I see it as a journey of growth and learning God has given me for my perfection. Without BPD, I wouldn't have the compassion and understanding I have today. It's made me a better person. I thank God for every tear and every challenge.

I have been reading and watching John Bunyan's, The Pilgrim's Progress. I can really relate to this. I started with a burden I needed to get rid of. After the burden was lifted, I had to go through adversity and hardship in order to see victory. Reading this book has really refreshed me and brought things into perspective.

@Former-Member , it's not too late.

I want to help you through it. I started this thread to give pwBPD, HOPE. Give yourself a chance. It is an amazing journey. It's not a life sentence.

Im here for you.

BPDSurvivor

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