Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[Hombre]

I just showed this to my husband and he cried and said yes, that's how he's felt I have done at times. It's so good for both of us to realise why I do it! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I am trying to learn as much as I can and I would be floundering (even more so) if it wasn't for this group's links and advice and personal peer experiences. My psychologist just supports me, which is nice, but I feel like I need a structured program. For the moment learning and learning and learning is my journey.

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @Hombre ,

My heart bleeds for those with BPD and their carers. It's such a misunderstood illness. With my BPD, I luckily had people who cared. I was seen as a human, not a number. 

I did not have family around me, hence my sole recovery was through the public system. I'm a lucky one. I haven't heard of ANYONE with BPD who has had the support I have had.

I've dedicated myself to helping others with BPD. I'm no expert, but the lived experience makes up for everything. I lived in a hole for years. If it wasn't for my treating team, I would not be here today.

Now I am out of the dark hole, I owe it to you all to support you in any way possible.

Actually, a part of my recovery is supporting others. It makes me remember all my BPD experiences are totally worth it.

I cannot even begin to describe the pain when I am "rejected". It is sooooo painful, to the point that death is better. Hence, our brains tell us not to be close to anyone.

I have to go, but I'll come back to check in with everyone here.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @LearningWaters @Janis_J @Hombre @Meggle 

[BPDSurvivor]

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@Oaktree wrote:

Oh @BPDSurvivor I really relate to the pushing people away thing. I am scared of getting hurt. If I push people away first rather than being rejected it doesn't hurt as much. I wish I didn't do that. I really want friends and a rich and fulfilling life. It's just so hard!

Meggle

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Hi @Oaktree ,

I totally agree with you. I always rejected people before they could reject me. Otherwise, I would continually put them in hard places to 'test' whether they really liked me.

As a borderline, during my darkest days, I clearly remember always 'seeing' my loved one (person I was obsessed with) have to chose between myself and someone else. The image I had in my mind was that a 'competetor' and I were hanging off a cliff - my loved one had to choose who they'd save. I had intense jealousy, anger, hatred at my loved one if I thought they wouldn't chose me.....sounds so ridiculous, but it was so real - the pain was unbearable. Hence this resulted in SH.

Now, although I don't forget these thoughts, I'm not so affected by them. I'm a much stronger person. And have developed a totally different look on life.

BPDSurvivor

[Oaktree]

Thanks @BPDSurvivor 

There is hope to sort myself out!

I am hoping the trauma therapy I'm about to start will help me with my insecure attachment style which is causing me such difficulties in relationships. I do strongly value relationships but when they end it is unbearable. This includes professional relationships so even trusting myself to start again with my psychologist is scary.

Meggle

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @Oaktree ,

To this day, I still struggle with maintaining relationships. People see me as a social, easy going person, but underneath it all, there is a lot of fear and anxiety. Hence I use 'work' as a way to minimise my social interactions.

I know this is an area that needs work, and hence I have a psychosocial support worker to assist me with this. I'm hoping to complete a 10 week health/social program to support me to get out. Waitlists are long, so I'm just waiting to here back from the organisers to see if I can get in.

You are right, @Oaktree . There is definitely hope. BPD is NOT a life sentence. People can recover from it. It is however, unlike other illnesses because medication can't 'fix' it. A lot of the work is on you.

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi Everyone,

How are you all going?

For those who live in the West of Melbourne, Western Bulldogs have a free program running to support health and wellbeing. From what I know, it consists of 2 hours - first hour from guest speakers, then second hour consists of physical exercise. It also runs online via Zoom.

During my BPD recovery, self-care and a healthy lifestyle was absolutely necessary. Hence, I'm looking forward to starting this 10-week program.

The program is called 'Daughters of the West' (females) or 'Sons of the West' (males). These programs are separated.

https://www.westernbulldogs.com.au/foundation/programs/sons-of-the-west 

https://www.westernbulldogs.com.au/foundation/programs/daughters-of-the-west 

Have a look if you are interested,

BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @LearningWaters @Janis_J @Hombre @Meggle @Filly24 

[BPDSurvivor]

Also, for carers out there with children aged 12-25, here's info about a Parent Education for Responding to and Supporting Youth with Suicidal Thoughts (PERSYST)

https://www.orygen.org.au/Research/Currently-recruiting/PERSYST-(1) 

This research is conducted by Orygen, and seeks to educate and help parents in responding to youth suicide.

I'm only sharing this info. I'm in no way affiliated with any of these programs, research etc. It is more to help you all out there. Absolutely NO OBLIGATION.

Have a look only if you are interested,

BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @LearningWaters @Janis_J @Hombre @Meggle @Filly24 

[Judi9877]

Hi there @BPDSurvivor @Oaktree @Hombre @Shaz51 and everyone here. How's life going for each of you? 

I've had some good news of sorts for myself that came about due to me needing the help 2 weeks ago from psych triage. Yes, this time around psych triage were actually helpful for once in a million years, believe it or not. Anyhow, I managed with their help to get in contact with a psychologist who I had via Telehealth on Saturday and I really enjoyed the session.
The psychologist was really helpful but the 1 lesson I took away from the session was they said 'Challenge the idea/s; not the person' when dealing with someone with BPD and I found that statement to be really valuable in many ways. The psychologist said that they understood I had BPD but that the BPD wasn't me as such. It was that they are more interested in my ideas and how I come to them than the emotions surrounding it and so on. They also told me that they were interested in working with me and wouldn't run away which is something that not many people say when dealing with BPD clients.

I also learnt that getting sidetracked when answering questions is apparently part of having BPD which I didn't know about earlier and that was also great to learn. In future, I plan to think of answering questions as if I'm going shopping- go straight to the supermarket with a list and only buy the items on that list. Nothing more, nothing less. Is that an odd way of looking at things? Some friendly advice would be appreciated here please! 

I've got 10 sessions via Telehealth with this psychologist so I'm planning on making the most of them as I've told them what I want to focus on - emotional regulation and strategies surrounding this and help with relationships and social situations- and hopefully learn some things along the way. This psychologist also works in academia along with out in the community so that's great to know because they are interested in me at uni doing psychology and I feel that our sessions might be somewhat challenging yet very interesting at the same time. If anything, I may pick up tips on how to deal with uni stuff and be able to look at further research articles and readings into the associated things that I learn with BPD and other areas that they're helping me with.

I hope each of you are well and enjoying what I know as the daily roller coaster of emotions in life with BPD. You gotta admit that life is never boring with this condition which makes it fun compared to others!

Take care and stay safe forumites!

Judi9877😎💐

[TideisTurning]

Hi @Judi9877, 

I'm so pleased for you to hear that you've had a positive experience and found a psychologist it sounds you click well with. 

I also found my university studies (albeit in social work rather than psychology) helpful to enhance my knowledge of whatever was happening for me. Lists can be helpful. Something I've done on occassion if it's appropriate is email the psychologist ahead of time to give them an update on where I'm at and the most pressing issue I want to focus on- this has then allowed them to help me focus the session right from the start. 

I hope it continues to be a great experience for you. All the best with it & Take Care, 

TideisTurning 🌷 

[BPDSurvivor]

That sounds so awesome, @Judi9877 !

I totally agree with you that there needs to be a lot of work surrounding 'challenging our thoughts'. My psychologist is forever pinning me down on the words I use to describe things - not to put me down, but rather, to change my ideas.

Another common characteristic is how we so quickly jump to 'judging' ideas. I've often found myself labelling thoughts/ideas as 'good' or 'bad'. However, now, I stop and re-think. Ideas/thoughts are neither good or bad - they are simply ideas. Rather, we need to look at the consequences of these thoughts and ideas.

Your session sounds so promising. I'm glad you have found someone you 'click' with. This is definitely necessary for BPD therapy.

The idea of drifting and getting side-tracked is a new one to me. I never saw it as BPD specific. Rather, I found I obsessed over things and would not move from what was set in my mind. With shopping, unless I'm having an impulsive buying moment, I'm pretty much in and out. Just shows that although we both have BPD, there are so many variations!

How is everyone else going? I have forgotten any of you. Thinking of you all and look forward to hearing from you 🙂 @Hombre @Netty78  

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @LearningWaters @Janis_J @Hombre @Meggle @Filly24 

Keep us in the loop,

BPDSurvivor