Lived Experience Forum

[PlantLover]

Thanks @Shaz51 

I'm glad to finally be getting the help I need. My physical health has been very debilitating. And is affecting my mental health. 

[Shaz51]

How are you today @PlantLover 

Soo glad to hear from you  my friend 😀👋

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi Everyone, 

How are you all going?

Just wanted to see if anyone wants to share:

1. Any BPD challenges this past month? And what you did to navigate the challenge/s.

2. Any BPD wins? And what you learnt from your win/s.

I'd also like to share a thread started by @Hannahbanana98 who shares her experience navigating the frustrations of the public system. I have also shared my contrasting experiences in the public system. I welcome you to share any experiences you have had. You can follow this thread here: Public system 

Looking forward to hearing from you!

BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 

@Kaitlynjade97 

[BlueBay]

hi @BPDSurvivor 

I was just wondering- if my childhood abuse didn't come out 11 yrs ago would I still have been diagnosed with BPD?

I struggle a lot still. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @BlueBay ,

In response to your question, YES. It's not about it 'coming out' so to say, but how you have developed in order to cope with what has happened in your childhood.

Whether you were overt or covert in how you dealt with the pain, the pain was still there. The pain was real. You have lived through the pain the best you could, and that includes learning coping strategies which are not so helpful. You may have not had a name to what happened at that time, but the coping mechanisms were there.

Now it's about unlearning the harmful strategies you have been using and learning what is helpful as a 'replacement'. Therapy should not be about making you stop using all the strategies you have ever known (Self harm etc) until these can be replaced with something better.

Thus, @BlueBay , whether you named what happened earlier or later, you would still be you. The coping strategies would still be there and it is the result of using these 'coping' strategies that define BPD (impulsivity, emotional instability, suicidal ideation).

Hope that makes sense,

BPDSurvivor

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @Hombre 

[Hombre]

I have not got a diagnosis and at 63 find this very daunting ( ha, what an understatement) I live in regional NSW and wondering if anyone can recommend services, possibly in Canberra that could help me. I have seen so many psychologists and have had a bad experience with one that I was too vulnerable to leave. 
So glad I found this group!

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Hombre ,

Welcome to the group! Im also delighted that you have found us here!

Thank you for your post.

Whether you have been diagnosed or not, skilled therapists work with whatever is hindering your full functioning and participation in society. 

The BPD label does not change who you fundamentally are. It does however, direct you to evidence-based treatments to work with the challenges that come with BPD.

Those living in metro areas have difficulty treatments, let alone regional areas. 

I would like to direct you to The Australian BPD Foundation. They regularly release a newsletter (BPD Advocate) which provides details of BPD services and supports available in each state and territory. This is a good place to start for clinicians, those diagnosed with BPD as well as their carers.

From experience, BPD requires lengthy targeted talking therapies to support changing the unhelpful neural connections made in the brain. Medication may mitigate co-morbidities, but ultimately it is the talking therapy.

@Hombre , I've been through years of BPD struggle, and all I can say is that I've become a better person for it. I've learnt so much about myself and others which I know I would not have learnt had it not been for BPD.

See your struggles as learning opportunities. How you approach it makes a huge difference to the outcome.

Hang in there my dear friend.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Hello to all passing by,

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @Hombre @MadScientist @Tansy25 

[Hombre]

Thank you so much. I will try to learn everything I can. I just wish I had begun this attempt to understand myself so much earlier! Not that I didn't try but no psychologist ever suggested BPD! It makes so much sense now, but I realise that I am at the beginning of a very long hard journey.

Thank you for all the references, THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[Hombre]

You have done well to write an apology. I would like to but don't know how to even start.

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @Hombre ,

I am glad you are finding the posts helpful.

 From my late teens, living in NSW, I was diagnosed with BPD... this led to depression, anxiety, eating issues and insomnia. Every day was a struggle and it took so much effort to survive. Looking back, I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to go through the darkness I went through.

I was addicted to SH. Death was so appealing. My life was so out-of-control that the only thing I felt I could control was my eating. This is when the eating issues started. 

To cut a long story short, I wanted to get away from myself so I moved interstate - away from family, friends or anyone i knew. I thought I'd have a 'fresh start'. This lasted about 6 months, before I fell back into the trap of despair. Lesson learnt - you can't run away from yourself. 

After a number of years, I'd absolutely had enough. I was sick of being sick. From the bottom of my heart, I reached out, never expecting anything (I churned through therapists - one after another to no avail). Lo and behold, I was contacted by Spectrum (BPD specialist clinic). I brushed it aside because I thought I was beyond hope. I was, at that point, living to die. About 6-12 months later, I received a letter from Spectrum asking if I was still interested in their services - otherwise they would remove me from their waitlist. I contacted them, arranged an assessment, and after hours of vigorous assessments spanning over a year or so, I finally began an 18 month MBT program with them - twice weekly (both individual and group sessions). My oh my, it was HARD HARD work. It took so much conscious effort to unlearn so many unhelpful mindsets. Then, it was about re-learning helpful mindsets.

At last, after years of strenuous work, my inner child emotional self finally 'grew up'. And here lies the continuation of the work. This is where I am now. I've still got lots to learn. But at least I can now say I love every moment of life - no matter how difficult it may be. I am content with things. I am able to function in society. I am able to be productive. I have goals. I simply love everything life has to offer and every opportunity I have.

Despite still having struggles with developing close  relationships, I'm know I'm ready for the challenge. As far as I'm concerned, you can't experience victory without a battle. I've battled long and hard - now I taste the victory!

All the best @Hombre and everyone else passing by:

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 @26aqua @LostAngel @Healing_Journey @TG1108 @BPDCarer1 @DJ228 @Name84 @TomRiddle32 @Dec @PAX1741 @Netty78 @PlantLover @Hannahbanana98 @Kaitlynjade97 @Hombre @MadScientist @Tansy25