Lived Experience Forum

[Tyler01]

Hi again

Years back I got burnt out on therapies I guess you could say.

I do have a nightly meditation or concentration type exercise that I do.

As my OCD is all about eye contact my meditation is to sit in a chair and stare at a space in front of me ., Each time I have a thought or distraction in my peripheral vision  I say 'thinking' to myself and then concecnetrate on the space in front of me  again . I just repeat this and keep it going for about 20 minutes before I got to sleep. This just helps to train my eyes 

I have found for myself that it is best to avoid scenarios that will make me very uncomfortable.

I used to drink heavily whenever I was in a social situation in an attempt to numb the OCD .This affected my job (which I was doing very well in) and ended up cutting a good career short.

These days I do what I need to do to cope (except for drinking or anything illegal obviously).

I don't tend to concern myself as much or dwell on what I think others are thinkng about me.

That's another one of the strange things about the OCD . Internally I don't really care less about what others think of me but for some reason the OCD does.  Those few little thoughts I had at 14 years of age are still stuck in the OCD treadmill.

It's almost like you have to try and trick yourself into thinking the opposite way. 

My brains OCD meter  is always swtiched on. It's almost like a visual metal detector , searching for things in my vision to be distracted by. I manage to turn the volume down now and then ( better thses days with  the new medication) and try not to be hard on myself when I think I have acted strangely.

I find it's good to remind yourself that there is no such thing as 'normal'.

The general public spend their whole lives trying to appear 'normal, when there never has been such a thing.

And they have never had to have there 'normality' or lack thereof shoved in their faces every day all day.

So I think if anyone is closer to 'normal'  People like us have a much better idea of what 'normal' actually is.

Although as I said, there is no such thing as 'normal'.

(Oh now I've just confused myself....ha ha ha )

[RDG]

One great solution is specially designed glasses that will have an illusive standard eyes staring straight with little illusive motion...frnds plz consider it...i think it is possible to make such glasses using present technology..

[RDG]

The manufacturing of such glasses is possible only if we all the victims get connected through phne..And if we collectively petition a such manufacturing company..frnds m waiting for yr opinion..

[Tyler01]

Hi RDG

Hope you are doing ok.

I use ordinary reading glasses I got from the chemist which have larger stems that block off peripheral vision .

I wear them most of the time these days when driving the car  to block out other drivers on the side of my vision and general day to day things.

Tends to help a bit.

Not sure what manufacturers could do for the front vision issues.

Happy to chat on the phone if you want. Not sure if they give mobile numbers out , might have to ask forum moderator.

I've never acrtually met anyone with the same OCD as mine.

Cheers

[Zahlia]

Hey @Tyler01 !

Great info about your own glasses you use! Unfortunately the SANE forums are anonymous and don't allow identifying information to be shown, so will just have to explain via here 🙂

Zahlia

[RDG]

Hello tyler thnx for responding
dark sort of glasses are not helpful for all time...the solution can be met only if we all get connected...am sure such glasses is the only solution but unless we connect
i don't know how to explain how it is harming my life..i hv stopped socialising as earlier..
Am trying to emphasize this solution so plz friends think about it..thr is no other solution..pls hlp frustration kills me

[RDG]

Hello everybody...we hv got to be honest here i want to know coz i believe everybody who's suffering frm ds certainly were interested peeping at such private places...logically the first staring preceding involuntary was voluntary staring...so i think it is like punishment of staring at..

[Tyler01]

It's nothing to do with 'wanting' to stare, it is the polar opposite.

An oversensitivity maybe to what you want others to think of you (or 'not think of you)

It is automated and repetitive distraction from any person within my vision .

Whatever behaviour is going to make me appear 'odd' with my eyes , the more I fight it the harder it is to 'appear normal'....

Sitting in a cafe I have to face the wall away from people , put a hand up to shield my peripheral vision and/or wear my side shielded reading glasses. 

Before this particular form of OCD took over my life I noticed in my early teens that I had a build up of various types of OCD from not being able to stop my hands from shaking in class, walking 'funny' (like one leg was longer than the other) to the moment in Geograpghy class in Year 9 at high school when I briefly stared at the guys crotch in front of me and yelled in my head ' you can't look there!!' and from then on I could not stop the magnetic flicking of my eyes ('not looking at girls or guys naughty bits') or ('being distracting by anyone in my peripherasl vision')

As a teeneger these type of sexuality worries/issues are very common but when they remain as an automated OCD habit at 44 years of age it's very frustrating and embarrassing and does lend itself to self hatred .

Some days are better than others but you just can't be hard on yourself .

I have various routines I do everyday to make life easier on myself in a bid to see the postivies in my life and avoid self pity (which helps nobody).

I know how cruel people can be ,quickly judging and making outcasts of people that are different .

Because they are full of fear they just don't want to understand.

But we know there are others out there just like us and just as 'normal' as anyone else , whatever the hell 'normal' is!!......

[RDG]

Oh....i too had suffered from other sort of ocd...i was a drug addict too and this is the great contributer to ocd and my insincerity during school life

[RDG]

Hello Tyler,have u heard London researchers have developed a computer controlled glasses... Read at google pls...am sure it is possible to help us by developing such designated glasses..We should act..otherwise we have to suffer on...and any thing else neither our mental will is gonna help us..