Memories of more abuse

[BlueBay]

Something has come up today and I am struggling 

[Drac0]

Sorry to hear that things seem to keep piling up on you @BlueBay over the last few days. Dealing with the new psych seams to have opened up a lot of wounds from your past.

Have you managed to get anyone to talk to about it all? Sounds like you really need to talk to someone soon. Please remember that none of this is your fault, you don't have to be ashamed about it. People did things to you that you had no control over. Don't let yourself or others try to turn it back on you. You're the victim & deserve all the help, support, care & encouragement you can get.

While these forums give you a place to open up about your problems without fear of judgement or reprisal, you need someone, even one person, in real life you feel you can talk to. If all else fails please don't forget that Lifeline will be there for you if needed.

Take care @BlueBay, my thoughts are with you right now.

[BlueBay]

Thank you Drac0 for your support. I'm struggling big time. Can't seem to stop crying. I have emailed the counsellors at ASCA who help childhood abuse survivors.
I need to talk to someone face to face. I'm going to see my dr tomorrow night.
I'm so exhausted from everything happening at the moment.

[NikNik]

Hi @BlueBay

Adults Surviving Child Abuse (ASCA) is a wonderful organisation. They also have a support line : 1300 657 380

It's open 9am - 5pm AEST Monday - Sunday. While they aren't open now, would you consider also calling them?

Nik

[BlueBay]

Hi @NikNik

I will have a think about calling tomorrow.  Im so scared that these new memories are going to make me worse. I can remember the face of the guy on the train so clearly, I can describe him to exactly what he was wearing and that happened 32 years ago. OMG I am so stressed.

I will tell my GP tomorrow night when I see him and my new psychiatrist in two weeks.

[Drac0]

Have you looked for any community support groups in your area @BlueBay? Thinking something like Anglicare or similar, which offers counselling services you might be able to get into right away rather waiting. I know it's too late for today but maybe tomorrow morning?

You seem to have so much locked up inside. Not only the past but the present, being unable to share with your family. I hope you find an workable outlet for it all very fast. We all want to see you get through this!

Take care.

[NikNik]

Great suggestions @Drac0

@BlueBay I really admire ASCA's approach to treatment. They use trauma informed care, which is (I have copied and pasted this from their site )

Trauma Informed Care and Practice is a strengths-based framework grounded in an understanding of and responsiveness to the impact of trauma, that emphasises physical, psychological, and emotional safety for both providers and survivors, and that creates opportunities for survivors to rebuild a sense of control and empowerment.

It sounds like for tonight, you may need some distractions. Do you find distractions helpful when you're thinking about these memories?

[BlueBay]

Thank you @NikNik and @Drac0

Distractions for tonight - i really don't know.  I think an early night after a cup of tea.  I haven't told my husband as yet and I am so worried about telling him and the children.

Why do these things happen?

@Drac0 I don't know of any community support counsellors in my area.  I am seeing my GP tomorrow night so I can ask him. I think I will phone my new psych tomorrow and see if I can get in earlier to see him instead of waiting 2 more weeks.

I am in such a dilema; I am so anxious and emotional

[BlueBay]

I wish I could disappear. Don't want this anymore. I'm too damn emotional. Exhausted. I really need a break in hospital. I hate these memories. I want them to go away. I'm crying. I need help.

[Drac0]

@BlueBay if things are as bad as you sound then look for immediate help. I don't know whats available where you are but I think either a call to Lifeline, or if you don't think that will be enough get yourself to your local hospital emergency department. I don't know what services they have there but would probably be better than nothing right now.

Please do what you need to do to get yourself safe.