Life challenges

[Hopeandlove]

So I wanted to share a bit about myself and what I'm facing in life.

I've had health issues throughout my life things like arthritis, scoliosis, heart problems etc. Things that have mostly been able to be treated with medications. But last year I was diagnosed with cancer and it's been a hell of a fight ever since. I've undergone several surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and things were looking ok. But recently I was told that the cancer had spread and I'm probably not going to make it to see my 50th birthday which for me is less than 3 years away. 

I haven't got any support around me and this information has been hard for me to process. Whilst I knew my life was on borrowed time it never really sunk in until I was sat down and told the facts. 

As you can imagine with everything I've gone through during my life I suffer from mental health issues and recently that's become alot worse. For me I don't want to get to that point where my body is shutting down.

I don't like not being in control but at the moment everything is out of my control, I'm reliant on medical teams, medications, other people trying to work out what the next step is. I'm unsure whether I want to put my body through more chemo or radiation therapy or whether to just let this ride its course. Even doing it it's only going to buy me a little bit more time so is it really worth it or do I just try to enjoy what time I have left. 

Anyway that's a bit of my story and what I'm facing. Thanks for reading. 

[Till23]

Hi @Hopeandlove 

I am so sorry to hear about your health struggles.

 It sounds like you have had a lot to deal with over the years and now cancer.

 I was diagnosed with cancer in 2022 and a different type in 2023 and had surgery followed by radiotherapy both times. I did not have chemo though.

 I struggled with my MH both times, not because I had cancer, but because the treatment was triggering for my childhood abuse. I attended all my appointments by myself as I didn’t have much support especially for practical things as I live by myself.

Shortly after I finished my second radiotherapy my father came to live with me and I looked after him until he passed away at my home from cancer

Do you have a psycho-oncology team at your treatment centre/hospital?

You should be able to request psychological support through your oncology team.

 I was able to utilise limited sessions through psycho-oncology.

You should also be able to access support through McGrath Foundation who used to be for breast cancer only but now do all cancers.

 I am also available to chat with on the forums if you’d like.

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 thank you for your reply. 

I'm sorry to hear what you have gone through, it takes a toll on your body and your mental health. 

Going through it alone is difficult, not having someone to talk to or anyone to care for you when things are bad. 

Sorry to hear about your father but I'm sure he was grateful that you took care of him. 

I honestly don't know what's available, I haven't been offered anything and I'm not one to ask too many questions. 

It might be something I look into when I feel up to it. For now I'm just trying to find some connection and support here. 

[Till23]

Yes no rush @Hopeandlove

Whatever you do, do in your own time. I was just throwing out some supports that I was aware of from my own experience. Also there should be social work available through oncology team, who can provide assistance in many areas.

I find these forums supportive. I hope you find some connection here.

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 thank you for the suggestions, I really do appreciate it. 

[Snuggles]

Hi @Hopeandlove 

I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. It sounds like you've been through so much already, and now facing these tough decisions must be incredibly overwhelming.  I appreciate you letting me share your story as I've been following your posts and have been really worried about you.  

I think @Till23 gave you some good advice, especially about getting support.  They should of offered that to you from the beginning instead of letting you deal with it on your own.  Makes me so mad. 😡

Anyway I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.  I know you probably feel uncomfortable hearing this as your previous posts indicate you don't feel you deserve any kindness or support.  Please know that we care. 💜

Sending you a warm embrace.

Snuggles 🥰 

[Hopeandlove]

Hi @Snuggles. Thank you for reading my story and I appreciate your concern. 

I haven't been offered much in the way of support despite being asked if I had any support around me to which I replied no. It's something I might look into if I feel up to it. I have been isolating myself from society lately as I feel I'm a burden on anyone that has to cross paths with me. 

Thankyou for showing compassion to me, it is very much appreciated even though I know i don't show it very well. 💙

[tyme]

Honestly @Hopeandlove , I'm sure both @Snuggles and I and others also are not humans who have not been through struggles. That's the beaut of this place. We've all had our own struggles and our own journeys. Yet on our journey, there have been people who have shown us compassion even when we didn't deserve it.

From my perspective, I need to pay it forward. And not because I have to, but because I really want to. 

We care about you @Hopeandlove . We may not be able to 'solve' your problems, but we can at least prove to you that you are not alone. 

Hugs.

[Hopeandlove]

Thank you @tyme . I'm a bit lost for words at the moment. I don't actually remember the last time I felt cared for by anyone, it does mean alot to me especially with how I have been feeling lately.