Life can be a Pain

[Owlunar]

Easy reading @Former-Member

Try reading Danielle Steel's books - they are easy to read - guaranteed happy ending - lots of twists that she always ties up nicely - she tends to repeat names - like there is nearly always a Bill or a Liz or an Annie - sometimes all of them - but her plots are different and I wonder how she invents them but she does

I have just read two and started on a third - seeing as I have been reading philosphy etc  her books are easy for me but but for a satisfying read that is easy on the heart - cause all the disasters work out - try one -- they are popular so they are also easy to find

My hair grows in all directions but with the use of clips and hairspray it only looks spiky first thing - it is literally nightmare hair and one thing I agree with my mother about - but when I was a kid I had a fringe - I really hated that - I do not like hair on my face - except for my eye-brows of course - and eye-lashes - mmm yeah - but a fringe - that was annoying

Anyway - you are allergic to your mother's cat yet s/he came back - cats tend to belong to a place and maybe puddy wants to be at home - I get itchy-eyes from my cat and it's because I love her that the irritating eyes are tolerated - but the puddy isn't your cat and so maybe imagine cuddles with Companion Cat because you can't be allergic to her - she lives a long way away from you

But yeah - you have a cat - awwwww - ahhhhhh - we had a cat no one liked and my ex had a bird I found hated me and it was a case that it was me and the baby or the bird was leaving so the bird left but my daughter and I still remember an old stray that adopted us and she was the best cat - but I don't think she was the same as Companion Cat who has only been my cat and no one else's and I am her one and only human too - and melt-downs aside - I love me puddytat and I invite you to love her at a distance too

Right now I am feeling rather lost - physical health and weather - so the cat is important but if you don't have the love in the first place - I understand cause I had a dog my ex wanted me to take when I went out running in the early mornings so long ago - I ran along the roads through the market gardens and maybe it wasn't safe and the dog cut corners then ran around on the highway when I was on my way to work - and people on the bus were saying stuff about people who did not care about their dogs and I didn't mention the stupid beast was mine - I had no love for him so I get it - I do understand

Self-care - I think people care I am alone my daughter really cares but she is recovering her own health and returning to work in half days - increasing her time - getting better - but she is always very busy and she is a musican too - we both need time to practise but we play different instruments and different music - I can't see me carting my keyboard around hoping to fit in with her band - I have had my day and I remember

Yes - I remember I have had an incredibly interesting life - one really worth living - hard but truly challenging and I am glad I have lived it and will continue - still there are days when I reflect on my past adventures and would like to be able to do those things now but the years have passed and I am passed it myself

Gloomy thoughts perhaps but honest - 

I care about you and you are part of my life too

Dec

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Owlunar, i'll remember that, maybe get a couple books from op shop 😁. Getting old is tough. Think you & i are the oldest here. Sorry you feel your age. There's a poem thats comes to mind, about 'the golden years' see if i can find it, give you a smile. Lol

Hugzz❤❤❤

[Appleblossom]

I am thinking There are a few older than you @Former-Member

.... me ...

You arent over 60 are you?

I have started some light reading and its Austrlalian/Brit

"Four Respectable Ladies Seek Part time Husband"

set in rural Oz after WW1

its fun.

Tho I doff my hat to @Owlunar

[Former-Member]

Hiya @Appleblossom, thanks for your post, & the previous one too, very understanding. And i'll keep an eye out. Not that i get time for novels lol
About age - i am.
Two you said poisoned my vulnerable early days, distroyed my first time tech reaching out & it hurt for a very long long long time😖 U were there.
I get enough rubbish irl (ppl who don't know me at all & specialise in poisoning my supports) @Faith-and-Hope saved me (i'll never forget my sunflower), a counter-balance. Thank you F&H🌹
But i learned much,  it tought me
- not to be defined by others
- its them not me
- i don't have to 'wear' it
- online bullying is real
- i don't have to be an easy target for bullies another day
Thanks, but trust there is gone, i have another scar to
remind me.

@Owlunar, did you wake up refreshed? Must find some 'ageing' jokes to practise laughing things off a little.  What choice do we really have lol

Drat, gotta run, dads nurse about to arrive.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Morning ladies ......

Watching a Netflix series at the moment called The Crown ..... it seems to be historically quite accurate, and is filling in events that were happening as I was a child and unaware of how they helped to shape the history of this country along with the rest of the world.

I have been hearing you @Former-Member. You are continuing to flex that incredible muscle you have and stay on course when the winds of your family are trying to blow you around everywhere ..... hard yards in every direction you look.

The thing that stands out to me is that you were there for your Mum in every capacity you could be, every capacity that her own psychological injuries would allow, and that was magnificent for two reasons that I can see ...... you were true to yourself, and you have that going forward - you did the best that it was possible to do, and that is more than most other people would have,could have, coped with. My MIL. is just as difficult, but I don’t have childhood scars from her the way you did with your Mum, and you shared enough of those with us to understand how terrible it was, often. That was grace under fire, and you are still doing it ......

The second thing is, if you had stayed away, your own values would have ached over the fact that you didn’t go to be with her .... but you did ..... so for your own truth to yourself, you were there, despite the fact that she remained so emotionally inaccessible. I remember too the post you shared about the relationship with a narcissistic mother. That wasn’t my experience, but it was my mother’s ..... and it has been for many, many others here ..... having the courage to put a voice to that shows your brave heart @Former-Member, and lights the way for others to do the same.

Here are some more sunflowers ..... 🌻🌻🌻 ..... and when I am in possession of my iPad later, and more of my wits than I have right now, I will post you the sunflower I keep for you ...... I see it every day when I am flicking through my images ..... and I pray over you when I do ......

Just spoke to my Dad who is currently on the other side of Australia. Bless him. Still going strong. Wish I could be with him more, but the reason I am Not is the reason I am here on the forums.

Hugs ❤️

[Appleblossom]

Glad you can speak to your dad. @Faith-and-Hope 

but it is a pity that MI takes up so much energy and time.

@Owlunar 

@Former-Member I did not realise that, but am very glad you persisted and hung around. How people click or not can be tricky.  I think you @Owlunar and I connected very quickly discussing grieving, and for people who had not experienced a more close traumatic grief, there is just not the resonating of feeling or understanding.  It cannot be manufactured, it has to have been lived.

I also find you three wonderful inspiration and companionable.  We will never be exactly the same and dont need to be.

I was also new to social media type technology when I joined this forum, so did not take much for granted.

[Shaz51]

reading all your messages and sending you all hugs

we must be the youngest here @Faith-and-Hope

Hello @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Owlunar xxxx

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Shaz51@Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

I think I might be among the oldest people here - I'm in my 70s and I feel it

I am really tired today - I feel as if I will write later but taking it really quietly today - I think I feel a little better than I have been though

Thanks Apple - about the Lived-Experience of Loss - true - it cannot be invented and it is also something that those in the bereaved parents department don't want anyone else to know really - but we do share - we need to share and my love for @Former-Member is invaluable

Back later - I think I will be in tonight

Dec

[Former-Member]

 l@Dec 

Aww shucks @Owlunar precious friend, cheer up soon❤

Hi Shaz51, made smile - yep, you guys are babies lol ❤

Appleblossom,  F&H thank you 🙂 ❤

[Owlunar]

Right @Former-Member

I can't change anything about getting older and don't tell me about the alternative - when I get old enough I will leave gracefully like my Dad did when he time came

But get used to it - I doubt that

You are a treasured friend

Dec

Hang  on

Good idea that - I think I feel slightly refreshed