Living with Severe Depression

[Ballard1891]

@Former-Member 

I got bullied a lot at school and at work which lead to me feeling down and depressed about myself. I don’t have that many friends, only a few and I just keeping thinking is there something wrong with me. 

My parents and sibling are really nice people. Pretty much everyone in my family and really nice people. Why I am soo mean and rude, if my family are lovely people? I couldn’t have got it from anyone. Maybe it’s because I got bullied earlier in life and that’s lead me to this. 

I have low self esteem.
I have made some mistakes in the past, everyone does, but I have to learn from these mistakes and be a better person. 

I need to be someone that I’m proud of being. Instead of being negative and mean. 

The voices in my head also say that I “stink” because I have IBS. They also say I’m “disgusting”. That just makes me feel worse about myself. 

I’m just waffling on now and I feel like I’m talking nonsense. I think I might of lost you on this one. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Ballard1891 

You have not lost me.

I do not open up but for some reason l do here.

I will address: 

[

I got bullied a lot at school and at work which lead to me feeling down and depressed about myself. I don’t have that many friends, only a few and I just keeping thinking is there something wrong with me. 

My parents and sibling are really nice people. ]

I am an adult. I was aggressively bullied and tormented for many years. It ended up in the Courts

Where am i going?

I will tell you.

I did not respond to the bullies. I just called the police. Sadly what l noticed was l was too hard on my loved ones, due to the "mental beating" the bad ones were giving me.

I had summarised it as those closest to us feel the blunt of the trauma

[Ballard1891]

@Former-Member 

I’m sorry to hear what you went through. 
I think mental abuse is just as tough as physical abuse. 
You have a choice to ignore it. 

I have to learn not to take things personally. I need to tough up 💪 and not let it affect me. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Ballard1891 

No need to feel sorry but thank you for the empathy.

It was more than mental abuse but it was not sexual.

I tend to agree you have to not take many things so personally.

I agree, toughen up when you can and need to.

But do not become hard and heartless.

[Itscinna]

hi, i can relate to this , i have severe IBS and get depression from symptom aswell.
something i looked into was magnesium to help discomfort and regulate my nervous system.

i have Caruso's mega magnesium and have feel a change in pain and discomfort.

also have you tried some morning meditations to help regulate emotions, i know these wont be a complete fix but may add some assistance with managing ibs and we know ibs is due to a dysregulated nervous system that backs up the digestive system and causes symptoms.


i hope your able to find some relief an management strategies .. sending lots of luck and positive energy..

[Ballard1891]

@Former-Member 
Wishing you all the best. 

Yes being kind and caring to people is what I want to be. I don’t want to turn into a bully myself. So I completely agree with you. 

[Ballard1891]

@Itscinna 

Thanks soo much for your kind words and support. That’s extremely helpful. When I see the doctor next, I’ll ask if I can take the magnesium tablets with my medication that I’m taking at the moment. I will have to make sure it doesn’t interact with the medications that I’m on. 
The most troubling symptom that I’m getting from IBS is gas. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Ballard1891 

I have not seen even the slightest bit of nastiness in your messages about people.

Except for yourself.

Be kind. Stay being caring and kind.

Others do not notice the good humble people until the person breaks down because we do everything for them without expecting anything in return.

The odd thank you would be nice. But dont hold your breath waiting.

You are you. Stay you. Believe in you.

[Ballard1891]

@Former-Member 

That’s soo true. I completely agree with everything you just said. Thankyou for your support. 

[ELKE88]

@Ballard1891 

Hi, My sincere empathy for you, as I can relate to your experiences which kept me pretty much in isolation. 

I understand we have different ways of coping and reasons why these symptoms happen. 

In the beginning I had already been diagnosed with PTSD and CFS both syndromes which could possibly be the trigger for my IBS.  So, all combined was a struggle.

I had been suffering with severe  IBS for 3-4 years. 
After persistent research, I read to exercise would be beneficial for my IBS symptoms. 
Difficult as it was, I gradually found strength to start my own Pilates routine at home, then each day increased walking distances. 
Eliminated sugars, coffee, tea, starchy foods, alcohol, garlic, and  onions as a process of elimination. 

Gradually, with consistent exercise, my symptoms were lessening. 
Our bodies react differently of course but, within 6 months my  symptoms had improved by 90%. 

I hope this helps in some way. 
Most importantly be kind to yourself, and I wish you all the best. 
🌸