Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

[Former-Member]

I am so very sorry @Molliex  for your loss.

You are right in that few people talk about the very early losses. But miscarriages are quite common in the first trimester. I think thats why most people dont announce pregnancies until a couple of months on. Just to get through that initial danger period.

But its also very well accepted that the sense of loss felt by those experiencing a miscarriage is very real.  Of course you are allowed to grieve this loss.  It actually was something, and had the potential to grow into a beautiful baby Molliex.  Your fears around another pregnancy are legitimate, given your previous difficulties. You say you have some guilt issues to work around?  I do hope you are not feeling any guilt around the loss of this pregnancy.  Any fears or insecurities you may have about having another baby, had nothing to do with this loss.

I'm glad you will be able to work through all of this with your psych next Monday.  I am very sorry you are feeling as you are, but it is very understandable.  Take the time to grieve .. I think its very important to do so. This has definitely been a very real loss.  Love and hugs to you ...

Sherry 💔🤗🌺

[Molliex]

Yeah that's pretty much what my gp said to me @Angels333. The one major benefit I have, is I can't have my gallbladder out again (I had it removed when my baby was 9 weeks old). 

[Molliex]

Thanks @greenpea 💚💚

[Molliex]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply @Former-Member.💚💜 No I don't feel guilty about this loss. It just happens. I feel guilty about even considering bringing another life into a world that is dying and can't sustain the life it has. I feel guilty because i wanted to die last year. How can I be a good parent to 2nd child? It's so complicated... 😫

[eth]

Sending lots of s @Molliex   I feel for you as I had a similar experience and similar questions around it, timing, my situation meaning I was concerned about being a parent again despite wanting it so much ... etc.  

Hang in there while you grieve, be gentle with yourself.  Sorry it's taken me days to see your post.  I can see you have some solid support here and hope it's helpful for you.  Take care xoxo

[Molliex]

Thank you @eth 🌼💚

[eth]

Thinking of you @Molliex   

[Molliex]

Thank you @eth . I'm actually doing quite well. I have my psychologist appointment today and I think it will be a good session. I sent him a long email with what has been going on, so it makes things easier for our actual time.

I read in your thread (that I haven't replied to yet, sorry!) that you were finally making some headway with your housing applicaiton. It must feel good to be making progress on something that has been bothering you/hanging over you for a while. Learning how much of your income goes towards medical expenses must be disheartening. I always feel quite sad when I see my out of pocket expenses on medicare.

Wishing you a productive week ahead @eth 

[eth]

Thanks @Molliex   Hope your appointment is a good one.  I'll be starting with a new psychologist on Friday.  After over 3 years with the previous one.  She had to leave suddenly due to problems with her pregnancy.  I just found out last week from my psychiatrist that she actually did do a referral and history letter about me, just didn't send me a copy, but it did go to psychiatrist, gp and new psychologist.   Expecting the first session will mostly be just introductions, history and housekeeping paperwork and feeling pretty stirred up about having disclosure with yet another new person.  But still looking forward to it overall.  Must check that it's going to be telehealth.  Have a nice day with some highlights in it xx

[BlueBay]

Hi @Molliex 

I'm so sorry I didn't reply. Even though you tagged me I just read the post. 
and I'm sorry that you had a miscarriage. 
sending you loving hugs ❤️🤗❤️🤗