Can’t forgive myself

[Evie1]

I can't forgive myself over some recent truma I have experienced I don't know how to forgive myself can anyone relate or give me advice?.

[Blep]

Hey @Evie1. I can definitely relate with you on this one and at the beginning it is going to be really hard to forgive yourself because with whatever has happened it is fresh.

In the interim you need to try and not be too hard on yourself (easier said than done) and maybe try to find someone to talk it over with. Sometimes with breaking the situation down with someone can help you see different perspectives.

Hope you can try and do some self care in the meantime 🙂

[Evie1]

Trauma is not letting me go so not understanding what happened and it happened all so fast I dont how to forgive myself because the crime I went through wasn't my fault 

[Zoe7]

Any trauma you go through, no matter whether it is/was your fault or not, can have a significant impact upon you @Evie1 It is good to keep reminding yourself it was not your fault and if you can break it down a bit like a cartoon strip - bit by bit, frame by frame - and deal with each step on it's own. This way you remove yourself somewhat from the entirity of what happened and can pinpoint more accurately what exactly it is that is causing the most pain. It is a way to detach yourself from the trauma, know what you can/could control and what is/was entirely out of your control. You can then identify where the blame actually lies and place that blame solely at the feet of the person/people involved. Whatever it is that has happened you already know it is not your fault now it is about placing that fault where it lies and learning to move through the trauma knowing there is nothing you could actually have done (or can do now) to change it. None of that is easy and it is a longer term process but with the right support you can get through this.

[Evie1]

I feel like I did something to deserve sexual assault and have it happen again and again why me whey anyone 

[outlander]

hi @Evie1
You said this was a recent trauma? Have you been able to speak to anyone or would you feel comfortable in speaking to someone?
Have you got any current supports like a gp, nurse, psychologist, support worker (or other service)?

Just going off your most recent post and I could be way off so can I ask if your in a relationship that's causing this ongoing abuse? If it is this sort of situation there is help out there that can help you to escape and find somewhere safe to go

[Evie1]

I'm in safe relationship this recent assault happened by a stranger and I already told the police but I'm not ready to make a statement yet as I get upset when I talk about it in detail another has one happened I'm fed up with the crime against me happening again because of my bad choices I can't forgive myself for anything and i have had an anxiety attack I cried for 4 hours I just felt so upset 

[outlander]

im glad that your in a safe relationship @Evie1 im sorry that you had the recent experience though.
I can understand not wanting to talk to professionals or the police about it but at leas you know the option is there.

why do you think its your fault?
bad choices doesn't mean its your fault and it definently doesn't give the other person a right to assault you either. its not an excuse at all.

[Evie1]

To be honest people have told me that I've put myself into the situation like I knew he would get hurt and like I wanted it I didn't know and I sure as hell didn't want it I feel like I'm to blame because I never listened when people told not to meet randoms when I got a psychologist who I clicked with she made sure I was going to be safe because I couldn't stop til I saw and felt uncomfortable I stopped enjoying it and I have my support workers to support me 

[Former-Member]

@Evie1 , I am so sorry this has happened to you. It's definitely not your fault, you are not to blame. No one puts themselves is a position to be hurt, and to say you wanted it is a downright disgusting thing to say. 

Be gentle with how you talk to yourself sweetie.