Am Not Coping

[utopia]

@Owlunar. Sending hugs your way. ♥♥

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 just sending hugs at the moment, as my brain is not formulating anything that is translatable. Its speaking some other language that I implicitly understand but can't translate!

Thank you for sharing as well @Owlunar - I always thought that there was no way that i would ever let anyone hurt me as an adult can remember thinking 'when i grow up'... when i left home and met someon i thought that I knew better and would never stay with a man who hurt me. but i did, for years. for so many complex reasons that changed and went around in circles. unless you are in that situation its hard to know what you would do i think. im so glad that you never experienced it. i'm also terrified of my mother, i have no contact with her now, but still scared that she'll cont act me or turn up in a rage, all of which is unlikely now, and even the knowledge that I am an adult, that I can stand up for myself, that i do have a voice does very little to change my feelings on that.

[Shaz51]

@Owlunar, @Zoe7, @Former-Member xx

[utopia]

@Zoe7. I'm using a computer instead of my old fashioned phone. So I thought I would send you this picture a friend sent me.

Sending lots of love. Am here for you.

[Zoe7]

@utopia @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @oceangirl

[oceangirl]

I'm going try for some sleep soon, I was waiting on someone to call me and the washing to finish. So now I can go to bed me thinks. I have the zoo tomorrow.

@Zoe7 @utopia @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Owlunar

[utopia]

Sweet dreams @oceangirl. I hope tomorrow is enjoyable at the zoo. Have a great day.

[Zoe7]

Little by little the darkness is winning. Each day starts to blend into the next. I am losing the struggle and feel unable to fight. Hope disappared long ago and in it's place stands defeat. I cannot keep getting up to be knocked down again. My mind is a web of pain and a carrier of fear. Each moment that passes is a moment lost. Day turns to night and night to day - and still reality is an arbitrary concept that has no meaning. Life is for the living and living can only be accomplised where there is a will and desire to move forward. Any sense of my own self has disappeared with the years of pain. I feel hopeless and worth nothing. Maybe I should resolve to end the fight and take away the pain more permsnently 

[Zoe7]

p.s. No need for concern - I am safe for now!

[oceangirl]

You can win this battle and take control of your mind. Focus on what makes you happy & perhaps do a gratitude list every day. I think you need to plan activties for the night time and hopefully join some social groups so that you are not focus on the night time. You need to talk to your psych about ways to manage this- have you been able to do this. I am just thinking about the things I would do.