Good News @Mazarita
I had a lovely day: meant to be a walk by the river, but there was a fair bit of sitting by the river as well.
Hi @rivergal
Just did a Google search and found this quote that matches my understanding of hypnosis:
"Our mind can be divided into two mental states; conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind deals with rational thinking and observation that we are aware of while the subconscious stores our life’s experiences, emotions and our core beliefs and habits that have evolved out of those experiences."
I am overall finding it a beneficial therapy. Aside from the trauma session which I was able to end very quickly, the hypnosis session earlier in the week (about 45mins) gave me the most deeply quiet, still and peaceful time inside myself than I've had for a very long time, if ever. This is the part of the therapy that I am most interested in.
There are a huge humber of hypnosis recordings to be found searching YouTube. I have done some of these in the past, but the in-person sessions are more effective for me, partly because my own specific issues are built in to the hypnosis. To me hypnosis seems very close related to guided meditations.
Hi @eth @Appleblossom @Shaz51, love to you and all.
Good you are having a life worth living and still popping in to the forum. Really good!
Glad it is working for you. I may think about the hypnosis for me in the future. I would like more calming effects without medication. My friend said I had a lot of beta energy around my head ... and i think it is a legacy of all the hypervigilance ...and overwhelming situations.
I have started 2 programs at the moment 1) reading a book for 30 day spiritual exercises by St Ignatious. Last year I did a 30 day Indian inspired practise, this year it is a Jesuit practice, but balanced by other things non medieval, including music and family meditations. I find it relevant to research widely as I feel inspired. I have to acknowledge that 3 people who have helped me through last year, whether paid or not, have been deeply spiritual and not just motivated by the buck and immaturity. It is my way of paying respects to the religion of my ancestors, and sifting between what is intended for spiritual growth and the self sacrificing aspect that had devastating effects in my family.. I also signed up for a 12 week online course including modules on social anxiety and PTSD, with .
https://www.mentalhealthonline.org.au/pages/about-our-therapist-assisted-program
Generally I tend to do better with structure rather than flailing around without direction. However I am also considering a new approach and that is making my music making about what I want to do ... rather than what I should do, or what the parents or exams say .. or is good for students or others, but I start a little, then get distracted by SHOULDS. Given I do not need to earn a lot of money any more, it could work and be very beneficial, as I have spent a lot of my life pushing myself to fit into boxes ... just chipping away at it, gently coming back to the idea that music can be for me... just because.
Gentle Encouragement
Pacing yourself @eth is a good idea - I am not always as good at that 
I do love that life is busy for you as you sound like you are enjoying life and that can only be a good thing
Hi @eth, adding another voice of really good about prioritising offline life and joining in here as it best works for your own healing journey. I am kind of doing the same, though not as many activities and outside engagements at this stage of things, currently about one thing every week day and proud of being mostly consistent with this so far.
But I haven't really settled yet into good inner rhythms with NDIS, finding some aspects of it very challenging, though loving a lot of it as well. 'Trust in the process' has been a helpful thought arising in my mind during some of the inner conflicts I have been experiencing about things, the feelings of overwhelm at times. Letting go a little of my often tight reins in relation to anything that goes against my grain.
Eth, @Appleblossom, surrender to life is a theme in my psychology/hypnotherapy as well. Through the hypnotherapies, I am feeling a sense of dropping into a more relaxed and grounded space inside myself, and letting go of some of the power of the 'shoulds' that Apple described earlier.
For me, these are the shoulds I feel inside and about myself, and those I direct towards the outside world with its vast imperfections, pains and cruelties, along with its joys, loves, everyday blessings and wondrous magnificence. Acceptance as the bedrock of all change.
I will be starting my psychologist's six week mindfulness course next week. At the moment I am finding an unusual amount of genuine faith in following this healing path, opening myself to it with gentle curiosity.
I am also hoping to continue letting go of my lifelong desperate drives to achieve and succeed at things, that have in the past tortured me for very long stretches of time because of my compulsiveness and perfectionism.
Film-making has pretty much dropped away completely from me at this time and I mostly feel fine about it. I am feeling, seeing and engaging with life in the wider and realer sense and knowing the wisdom of that.
This relates to one of the things you said in your last post, Apple, about your new approach to music making, wanting to embrace it more as something you want to do for you, rather than something you have been driven to with painful pressure, from other people, our goal-oriented western societies, and the stresses arising from within us from internalising it all.
I chime so much with you here. For me this is the essence of my decision earlier in the year that, as I head towards turning 60 next year, I wish to be retired from the world of achievements. Some will probably happen anyway in the future, but I am recognising that I no longer need or want to be chasing after any measure of success in what I do or who I am.
Another of the wonderful affirmations from my psychologist that I've quoted before: I am. That is enough. I am enough.
I feel this to be the early phase of a spiritual discovery and development phase of my life. For now it is about gently growing my acceptance and love of life. Apple, I loved reading about your interesting and unique spiritual practices, how they connect to your personal sense of history and the greater meaning and comfort they may encourage.
Hi @Zoe7 Waves to anyone passing.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.