A long rave

[greenpea]

@Mazarita a staffy cross red heeler would have been a very smart dog. Beautiful story Maz xxxx

[Mazarita]

How's your day been, @greenpea? I wagged art group to go to my friend's place. 

[greenpea]

@Mazarita Ahahaha! Nothing wrong with 'wagging' I used to do it all the time when I was in high school 😛  By the sounds of it you had good reason. I went for a long beautiful walk in the winter sunshine 😄 bliss and then came home and ate a ton of choccy :p:p but that is okay the walk was great and the choccy was too.:D

[Mazarita]

I used to stay home from school and watch midday movies, @greenpea. It was mainly because I was either depressed or highly anxious about going. So great you had that long beautiful walk. 

I had shorter walks today, but good. My friend lives in a very relaxing suburb, so many trees and parks. At one stage while waiting on the empty suburban street for the bus, two ducks slowly waddled across the road, from one stretch of parkland to the other. 

[greenpea]

@Mazarita I was more angry than anxious I had alot of attitude .... I love ducks they are just too cute. We have alot of ducks where we are they are protected which is great. So happy that you had some quality time with your friend and going for a nice walk to top it off 🙂

[Mazarita]

@greenpea, disappeared there for a little bit to eat dinner: a boiled egg on toast. These new meds have lowered my appetite. With the ducks near me today, while they were coming across the road, a car came around the corner and slowed down to a crawl to let the ducks past. I like that. 

[Appleblossom]

@Mazarita I am not very critical to start off, very unsure about deciding who is too straight or too bent to work out as a possible friend.  Been working on levels of interaction and degrees of intimacy, for a long time now.

I do think I give people the idea they can "play me" ... so I am working on not giving too much away ... ahem ... for a long time I just had to be able to mention my brother and sister ... but that always gets me in hot water ... so now I am trying to learn to test people a bit and trust them only gradually ... it just has not always been possible ... cos I have been over stretched and brimming ... if you know what I mean.

@greenpea You are fun and probably a bit naughty too ... lol .. I am no longer naughty tho a police warned me not to wait to pick up my son in an area that was apparently one way that was not marked. sigh ... he said he would not fine me ... just as well.

[greenpea]

@Mazarita Maz why can't we talk about medication on the site .... I don't understand .... decreasing appetite would be good  But as long as I go for a walk every day I really don't mind eating some chocky as I say it is the only sinful that that I do without chocky I would be bored out of my mind! Nice the people let the ducks go by I like that too 😄

[greenpea]

@AppleblossomI am much naughtier online than in rl. In rl I am just a regular mum with an mi ... you know what I am saying lol.

[Appleblossom]

ahah @greenpea... just a little escapist fun by the pea! ... me too ... I was so boring for 15 years. I was trying to bore my son back to school etc ...

When I started my family there was a lot of negative attention given to a mum with a MI and Protective Services tested me and gave me the baby .. it put me in all sorts of double bind .. and I had to look after her MH as well as my partner and the child ... so when mine went downhill ... it was very weird ... I have never been properly diagnosed yet.  I am not sure if that is good or bad.  All the people around me who had diagnoses were very clear in their onset ... but nothing was clear or simple about me.  It made me VERY isolated for a long time.  Could not have a mum convo for 20 years .. eventually my parents (of students) started telling me their stuff!