A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Emelia8]

Driving there and back the first week @Anastasia should be fine.  And its easier than making arrangements for hubby to be cared for.  I may have been able to arrange community transport but its hard to get a similar time slot as others who may travel from this area.  Which means a lot of waiting around.  So thats not ideal either.  I have it as a last resort though, if I start to feel too tired to be safe driving.  Awww thank you ... that would be nice wouldnt it ... having you come with me?  

"Please repeat after me... I am awesome, loveable, special, unique, amazing, fabulous, kind, giving, compassionate, generous ... gosh the list goes on  it really is endless xxx"     Ha ha ... thank you 😊💓💓

All okay with hubbys friend .. his covid test came back negative.  So all good there ... thankfully one less thing to worry about and organise.

Yes my nephew is pretty sore today.  Much sorer than he was with his first collarbone break, 4 months ago almost to the day of this latest one.  His first was a bad break which required 2 plates and I think it was 9 screws.  This one was apparently worse, with further potential for major damage to other surrounding tissues due to bad splintering and proximity to tendons and nerves.  So he has a more solid plate on this side, with an additional 12 screws.  His surgeon told him that he has to be extremely careful and to do absolutely nothing for at least 2 weeks.  At least this time its his left arm, his non dominant one ... so a little less debilitating for all the small things I guess.  But he was told that if he trips or something and falls again ... they will not be able to repair it again.  So he goes back to see the surgeon again in 2 weeks for wound check and to see how its all going.  And he will need xrays etc in 2 months.  So its another long rehab and time off work. Poor kid ... he is bored already.  At least he has my Dad living out on the farm with them now ... so the two invalids can keep each other company I guess. 💖

Ha ha .. that would be nice if you got to visit your lighthouse between 19th and 22nd January.  I would think of your road trip while I was undergoing my radiation treatment and hiding out in my room within the hospital grounds.

I'm okay ... hubby final settled down last night and was out like a light.  All forgotten this morning.

I've been battling a bad headache much of today, which analgesics dont seem to help much.  And my aches and pains have been bad too ... my back particularly bad.  I had to lie down for a while earlier to try to ease it a bit.  Marginally better tonight, so hopefully it will not be so bad tomorrow.  Yes the end of February is in my mind a lot lately ... despite trying to dismiss it as still being a long way off.  Still no call from my psych's office to tell me that there's been a cancellation next week.  😔   I dont really expect there will be ... but I live in hope.  And yeah, I would by lying if I said I wasnt a little scared about the radiation starting next week.  How long did your Dad need radiation for?  I know it varies quite considerably, depending on where they are treating.

I've probably missed you by now.  Sorry about that.  Sleep well and we will talk again another time. 

I love you more. 😊💞💤

Emelia 💞

[Emelia8]

@outlander @Bow @WIP @Eve7 ... thank you all very much for your lovely supportive posts.  You are all very kind and lovely friends, and I am very grateful for all of you.  Very tired now so will say goodnight and catch you all another time.  Hope you all sleep well and stay safe.

Emelia 😊💤💞

[WIP]

Sleep well lovely @Emelia8 

[outlander]

Goodnight @Emelia8 💜💛

[Anastasia]

You're still awake too @Emelia8 

I'm super tired, how about you? I'm sorry you have a headache 😞 hopefully sleep will fix that. 

Dad had chemo for 19 weeks.

His scan is the same day as your first treatment so I will hold you both in my heart together. His results will determine what to do next which we have to wait for a week to find out. Crossing fingers and toes for both of you 🙏🌹🙏

[Emelia8]

Thank you @WIP @outlander 🌺

Yes @Anastasia I was still awake well after midnight.  Then got maybe an hour's sleep and was wide awake the remainder of the night.  So so tired again this morning ... and the headache is still there.

Myboy, when your Dad had chemo for 19 weeks ... did he have the IV infusion weekly, or less often than that?  When my husband was going through immunotherapy (similar to chemotherapy) he had to have fortnightly IV infusions which took about 3 hours to 'infuse'.  He did that for 4 months, until such time as they realised that his body was reacting badly to it and they had to take him off it. Thats when he developed all the inflamatory illnesses ... the most serious of which was the brain swelling encephalitis.  They say they can never put him back on the treatment again, even if his cancer returns.  

So did your Dad have radiation therapy as well as the chemo?  19 weeks of chemo is rugged, and there is no question at all that it is a major drain on emotions as well as the physical load.  And not just for your Dad but also your Mum and extended family.  It is such a difficult time.  I hope your Dads scan next Tuesday shows a reduction of cancer, or even better ... no sign of it at all.  Certainly that was the case with my husbands cancer (which had been scattered through both his lungs).  The treatment was very successful for him with regards to the cancer. Shame about the lifelong consequences of the side effects of the treatment. His body's reactions to the treatment was at the extreme end unfortunately, and it was at a time when the immunotherapy was in its infancy.  They were not aware of some of the side effects of it, and did not know what caused his sudden mental and physical collapse.  He was a bit of a guinnea pig ... a pioneer if you like ... for this treatment.

I am definitely crossing fingers and toes for a good scan result for your Dad.  Having to wait a week for the results is really hard.  The old "scanxiety" sets in.  My radiation therapy, will be fine.  I've known all along that I needed to have this treatment.  And its only 3 weeks rather than what I was originally told would be 5-7 weeks.  So I have it easy.

All I feel like doing today is sleeping.  Wish I could do that!  I will probably watch the test cricket soon.  Its day 3 ... Jane McGrath day.  The Pink Test where they raise money for the McGrath Breast Care nurses.  I have been donating to the charity for about 5 years now.  The past 3 years its a little bit closer to home I guess, with firstly Mum and now me .. having breast cancer.  Although we dont have a McGrath breast care nurse in my area, we do have a Govt appointed hospital located BC nurse.  And she has been a wealth of information and support.  From what I hear, the McGrath BC nurses are even more special.  And its wonderful to see how people have gotten behind the cause over the years.  So I will be donating again today ... buying a pink seat at the cricket to help the cause.

Well ... I'd best get these sore and creaky bones moving and go do something.  Perhaps I will finally get around to sealing my Diamond Painting which I had completed just before I went into hospital for my surgery in November. Yes ... thats a good idea.  

To anyone else around who are passing through ... I hope your day is a good one, and thanks for stopping by.

Emelia 💞

[Buster1976]

Hi @Emelia8 

im new here so might be botching how we are supposed to support one another 🙁 and I see your post has already garnered lots of support already.  Your story touched me, I work in the human services industry and whilst not a clinician, and I'm sure this has already been said (so this is more to ease my mind that I am offering information where I see a need) your history and current worries suggest post traumatic stress - for me any kind of diagnosis is helpful because it opens the door to relevant supports and assistance.  As well, it could be seen as an acknowledgment that what you have experienced and been through is tough.  You absolutely have needed to develop coping skills, defence mechanisms and behaviour changes to keep yourself safe.  Never feeling safe means your body and mind will be on overdrive all the time and this will have physiological consequences.   Anyway like I said, I'm not any kind of expert clinician and am not in the business of making diagnoses however as someone who works with people compassionately and ethically, I feel duty bound to offer suggestions and tips to point you in the right direction.  Which may have already occurred, but this will ease my mind that I have offered assistance where I felt it could be useful.  All the best

[Anastasia]

Hello beautiful @Emelia8 

Oh I'm sorry sleep.didnt come to you 😔

I also enjoy cricket one of my boys passions and as he recovers he plans to join a team along with his sw so that is exciting. He's very talented had much recognition over the years, nuff said x

I too will support the foundation today in honour of you Em. 🤗🌺💗

I'm sorry bout hubby being a guinea.pig, not at all good and then of course the ongoing complications that you both have to live with 😔

Dad had infusions weekly that took about 3 hours. He had two weeks on and one week off for 9 weeks then a scan which showed a reduction of 50%...as I write this I'm crying, happy tears of course.

Then he had the same all over again. Then a break over Christmas.

Next week is to determine if he can continue to have a break or if treatment needs to re start. Apparently when (not if sadly) it does it will be different drugs. 

We are having a holiday with them in Feb so if it does need to restart it will be the second week of Feb. 🙏 

Praying he can continue with a break. 

My boy and bf are off to potentially purchase an asset. I'm keeping busy, my house is gleaming after dusting, vacuuming and washing floors. Oh and a new washing machine will be put into the old.ines.apot tonight...yippee. So tonight will be a washing night 🙂

I'm still wondering who this imposter is in my body. Instead of looking at what needs doing I'm getting it done. Apparently the full effects take a few weeks so if that's the case Lord knows what I'm capable of then! 

I do hope you can have that rest today Em, just getting done what absolutely has to.

Here's today's gift along with my heart but you already know you have that. Take care beautiful girl 💞

🎁❤️

P.S love you more

P.P.S I'd love you to share your diamond painting if you are happy to? 

[Emelia8]

Thank you so much @Buster1976  for dropping by and offering your very sound advice and support.  Yes ... this is absolutely how we support each other, and I very much appreciate that.  Its true that I have a lot of lovely people here who support me.  I have quite a few close connections within the forums and we all support each other on their respective threads.

Did my story touch you because you have a similar story @Buster1976 ?  If so ... I am terribly sorry. If you have a thread where I can read more and maybe better support you, please tag me in.  

You are right of course ... I do have PTSD.  I was officially diagnosed with it about 7 years ago now.  That was after a long period of time, trying to ignore the effects it was having on me and my life.  And not being military or front line rescue related, its often thought that you couldnt possibly have PTSD. Thankfully the thinking around that has changed in recent years.  I have undergone several trauma therapies since being diagnosed ... CBT and Exposure Therapy as well as EMDR.  It has taken some of the edge off things, but its still hard at times of stress and triggering.  But it has meant I can now better implement coping skills and defence mechanisms, that I couldnt do before.  And as you say ... it is helpful to have a diagnosis.  All the years I suffered and had no idea why or what I was dealing with.  At least now ... I know.  And with knowledge comes the ability to research and learn from others who suffer the same diagnosis.  

I am very grateful for your input, and please know that you are welcome here any time, as you are at any other thread you choose to impart your knowledge and care.  Please ease your mind that you have offered assistance, where it was needed and appreciated ... and yes, you have been very useful.  Thank you.  🙏💕

Emelia 🌸

[Anastasia]

Hello @WIP 

I was just about to duck to your thread before I get some more chores done. How are you today, still ok? I bet you are, actually I can feel that you are. 

I hope you are able to take Levi back to the doggie park today he would love that. Love and hugs my special friend L and Levi xxx

💪✔️🐕🐾❣️

@Emelia8 👋❣️

Hello everyone else here too 👋❣️