A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[MDT]

@Emelia8

I dunno what to say to this my friend.

But just to let you know I'm sitting with you

[Maggie]

@Emelia8 💕💕💕

[Former-Member]

Sorry things not working out how you'd like @Emelia8 but we gotta put ourself first at these times. Very hard to do long drives alone when ya not well. Theres train or bus but understand - it's an impossible time of year to be organising Respite help re hubby. You can't do and be everywhere at once Em, shake off the guilts and get on with looking after you. I feel bad that I didn't get to my dad's funeral. Livestream, zoom and Skype can help but not the same.
As for anniversaries, this is a bad time for me too coming up. We'll get through it together 💙💜
Glad you liked the KAK chat. You're definately not alone in this 🌻 stay strong
💙🌻💙🌻💙🌻💙

[Owlunar]

@Emelia8 

Hi Em - it has to have been so hard for you to make the decision not to travel to see your Dad - I know seeing my Dad in hospital before he died was something that worked out brilliantly - and I can only pray you get the same sort of event - that your Dad can hold on until you see him again

And yes - you do need to take care of your own health right now - you have had such a battle all your life and also - with your cancer over the last however long  - a surprise you did not need for sure - and it is an added weight that you can't see your Dad and I really understand that - and I am so sorry

I am churned up about this new outbreak of the virus - and there are a few venues near here that people have been asked to get checked if they have been there at the same time - I am not inclinded to exposed myself to the virus that's for sure - I need a hair cut badly and - yeah - bad feather day after bad feather day with it getting worse - bleak thoughts - I do need to have my hair cut though - it grew a millimetre overnight a couple of days ago and that's enough - 

You have a bad date coming up - at least this is not a leap year - I am glad to know but what happened did happened and it will always be a reminded - I get that - I understand

I did read your last update - there are times when I read my phone but I find it hard to text - and I ofter lose what I text on the site - so it's better to read a lot of messages and catch up when I am using my computer. I think you are a champion - the way you battle on and on with so much against you - I am inspired when I read your messages - 

I am glad you are putting yourself first through this outbreak - and things are so unpredictable - hotel quarantine would be really hard - financially and in reality - not something I would like at all - so I am not going anywhere until this has settled

Sending lots of love Em -

Dec - of the bad feather day

Grump - grump - grumpity - grump

[Emelia8]

Thanks for the love and hugs @Former-Member @Shaz51 💖

[Emelia8]

Thanks @BlueBay ... yes, we are a close family. Always have been.

My Dad was devastated when hubby and I sold our farm 11 years ago and moved all the way up here. We had lived only about half an hour from wherw mum and dad lived.

He didnt talk to me for almost a year after we moved. That was really hard. But he slowly 'thawed' and was back to normal. I sympathised with him ... I had always been the one to do for them whatever needed doing. Suddenly I wasnt there, and both he and mum felt abandoned. They knew it wasnt my choice of course, which probably made it worse.

I just hope he can hang around for a little longer, even though I think at 88 he is done with life and ready to depart.

Thank you @BlueBay  you have always been here for me and I appreciate that.

I hope you get to see your Dad soon, in spite of your mother.

Emelia 🌸

[Emelia8]

@TAB sorry the covid info line was not helpful. I agree that if you are a WA resident, the option to self quarantine at home would be okay. But unfortunately the rules could change enroute. The current situation does not give any confidence or certainty to anyone unfortunately.

@Bow Thanks for the love, and for reading along with my long posts. I appreciate that, because its important to feel heard. 😄🙏  Yes this anniversary is very hard ... 29th Feb 1996 ... my life changed forever. Despite the length of time since then ... 25 years this year ... I have never forgotten that night nor can I ever forgive the perpetrator of what was a criminal act.

Emelia 😔🌷

[Emelia8]

Thats okay @MDT nothing needs to be said. Thank you for responding. 😄

Many thanks and much love @Maggie   💞

Emelia

[Emelia8]

Thank you dear @Former-Member  you always have good, sound and sensible advice. I consider you a good friend and lucky to have your support.

You may recall that I have travelled by train for family visits before. I like train travel too.

But unfortunately, neither train nor bus was an option this time because I would need to change trains and/or buses in Sydney CBD. And that is a COVID hotspot.

You're right ... I need to shake off the guilts around cancelling this trip. I will go another time. 🌷

Thank you @Owlunar for your response. seriously running out of steam here, so will respond to your post next time in. Not ignoring you. 😄🐈💖

Emelia 🐶

[Bow]

@Emelia8  sitting with you, these things are hard and they do change us forever. Some people say that time heals, and for me I have been able to heal some, it will be 27yrs this year for me, but some days are hard, anniversaries are hard and sometimes I get triggered. Recent events have triggered me more. I can understand how the beginning of the New Years can also be hard for you cause it’s the reminder that it’s just around the corner. 

Thinking of you, I do get that it’s hard.