A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Eve7]

@Emelia8 

💚💙🙏💙💚😜🐠💐🌷🌹🌸🌼🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

[Emelia8]

Thanks all  🙏💕  @BlueBay @outlander @Bow @NatureLover @Eve7 @Snowie 

Just feeling really defeated after getting two difficult knockbacks yesterday.  I had already felt myself going downhill as far as depression is concerned.  Now I am feeling self destructive,  and I dont know how to stop it. 

[Snowie]

Sorry to hear about the knock backs @Emelia8 

Not sure how I can help but here sitting with you 💌💌

[Shaz51]

@Emelia8 xoxo

@Snowie and I are sitting with you my friend 

and also @FloatingFeather and @hanami are here to chat to❤️

[hanami]

Oh, @Emelia8  I'm sorry to hear that. That feeling of getting knockbacked (and twice in one day!) is just so awful. It can really send you spiralling downwards, especially if you're not in a good headspace to start.

Sending hugs and warmest wishes ❤️

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Emelia8,

My heart goes out to you - knock backs are never comfortable to sit with. I know from my own experience how they can feed into depression.

You are an amazing, kind and friendly person (that is evident on the forums) and I hope you can see the person we see.

I have sent you an email to check in with you so please respond when you can and please know we really care about you.

Big hugs,

FloatingFeather

[Emelia8]

Thanks @Snowie @Shaz51 💞

It just seems that everything I have been through has been for nothing.  I know its silly, but that's the way it seems.  And yesterday was hard.

@BlueBay @Bow @Eve7 @TAB @outlander @NatureLover @Appleblossom @Sophia1 

My first knockback came from the property manager.  Last week, I asked permission to keep a dog here in the unit.  My clinical psych offered me a young dog for free, a therapy dog normally sold for about $7000, if I were permitted to have one here at the unit.  I have been puppy-sitting her on a daily basis from time to time over the past couple of months.  My psych thought I needed the interaction. 😊🐶  I always knew I had to hand her back, that I was just looking after her for someone else because I didn't have a home of my own.  But last week when she offered me the puppy (now 5 months old) and said she would write a letter stating that she was a therapy dog and that I am eligible for a therapy dog, etc.  I thought okay great. No harm in trying.  And I got my hopes up. Besides, who knows how long it will be before I eventually find my own home to buy.  So I put it through the property manager.  Yesterday she got back to me and said that the landlord said NO.

My second knockback came when I approached my surgeon's nurse in Sydney about gaining clearance to drive again.  It is now over 8 weeks since my second surgery, and I have not taken any of my opiate pain killers for a couple of weeks now. I had xrays last week which the surgeon would have received by now. I even tried to get in the car a few days ago, and managed to do so.  With some difficulty, but I got there.  I feel I can do it.  Anyway, the nurse responded that quote:  "Usually we give clearance to drive 6 weeks after spinal fusion surgery, and once you are off strong pain relief.  However, given your previous condition post surgery I cannot give you clearance to drive at this stage.  I need you to wait until you see Dr S**** on Saturday for his opinion."

So that means I am still stuck at home on my own.  Cannot even go out and look at prospective homes to buy.  No home, no puppy, no life, no purpose!

Thanks @hanami @FloatingFeather  (I have responded to your kind email FF 💕)

[hanami]

Oh @Emelia8 , that is really crap! Coincidentally, I saw on the news on the weekend that if Labor gets in at the state elections in NSW they'll make it harder for property owners to deny pets in rentals. Here's the story https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-01-08/nsw-labor-plan-to-help-renters-have-pets/101835684 

Maybe not much help to you now, but good to know things could change in the not so far off future.

[Snowie]

oh dear @Emelia8 so sorry to hear the news.

A dog can bring so much joy and more importantly some companionship for us. I didn't think people could say no to a therapy dog. Or maybe that is a guide dog I am thinking of.

I hope you are able to drive soon, it does give us that independence.

[BlueBay]

you are so loved on here my friend @Emelia8 

sending you positive vibes and loving hugs

thinking of you Em xxxxoooo