A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[outlander]

@Emelia8 

[Shaz51]

@Emelia8 thinking of you lots today and my sister 

Hope you are OK 

Sending you lots of hugs ❤❤❤

[Sophia1]

Thinking of you @Emelia8 

Sophia1

Sorry I am over emojis at the moment

[NatureLover]

@Emelia8  I see you there online, so early...how are you sleeping at the moment? 

Thinking of you...sending 💜

[Emelia8]

Hi @NatureLover 🌷🌻

Not been sleeping very well. 

Yesterday was a really hard day to get through. 😔  I 'crashed' for a couple of hours in the arvo.  Not sure if that was helpful or not,  in the end. 

[Snowie]

@Emelia8 hoping today was a little better for you hon.

Take care 💌💌

[NatureLover]

Hi @Emelia8 , sorry to hear you haven't been sleeping well...is that due to residual pain in your back? Or maybe your mental state / thoughts not shutting down? 

I will send wishes for your sleep...

I can hear how tough Christmas Day was for you 😞

Sending hugs 💜

[Emelia8]

Thank you @outlander @Shaz51 @Sophia1 @Snowie @NatureLover @Judi9877 @TAB @Bow @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @BlueBay @Snowie @Eve7 

Its a combination of things I think @NatureLover , as to why I am not sleeping well.

Yes the pain has worsened again, as I have stopped taking the strong pain killers, the opiates. Plus I am in the process of slowly reducing the nerve pain meds.  I guess the combination of both of those things have meant that I am dealing with increased pain.  Plus I am needing to do more now that I am out of hospital and having to do things for myself more and more.  That results in additional inflammation and pain too.  The surgical wounds continue to be painful and inflamed too, and restrict my movement to some degree.

And its also a difficult time of year at Christmas, which many others here would know and relate to.  I have been feeling very isolated and alone this year.  Without any family members around, without my husband and without my little Holly.  Its just hard I guess.  And I cannot just jump in the car and go somewhere to go shopping in town or go for a drive, because I'm not permitted to drive.  I really am stuck here, very much alone.

My back and nerve pain will likely continue for some months, maybe 6 months or so, but nothing like what it was pre surgery.  But it is upsetting that I am still experiencing a significant amount of pain.  I was warned to expect it, but I guess I was hopeful it may not get this bad. At least before I had the help of strong pain killers, both opiates and nerve pain meds.  Now I am off the opiates and slowly coming off the nerve pain meds, which I have been on high doses for about 18 months now.

So my mental state is not great, and my thoughts are getting the better of me.  All I do every day is try to remember to eat, to regain my strength, and try to sleep at night.  Not very successful at either I have to say.  So @NatureLover  you wishes for better sleep is welcomed.

Emelia 😢💕

[TAB]

sounds hard @Emelia8  is there someone you can talk to ? that could help ?

anyway you are not in hospital , so that;s good ? could you borrow someones pet for a while maybe ?

[Emelia8]

I don't know @TAB .  I could try to contact my clinical psych, but I think she is on holidays for a few weeks. She has young teenaged kids. She also breeds therapy dogs and could lend me a puppy for a day. She did that for a few weeks leading up to my surgery.  But I haven't been up to caring for a puppy for any length of time since I came home from hospital.  Maybe soon though?